D22369

this is one of the strangest posts I have ever responded to........ could you imagine your folks dropping by for the weekend and by accident finding that??....... Kinda looks like something off of dawn of the dead ... If he got that excited then there is something missing in that relationship!!!! Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

So would that make the virgin Mary a lesbian? *** only in MY dreams!!! yup....gonna smoke a turd in hell for that one!!!! Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

God has a sense of humor... *** yes......SHE does..... and she's blonde... Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

As long as we're now on to silly diversions: ok!!!!.........thats wrong....totally wrong!!!!..... that and the duckbilled platupuss make no sense!? Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

I have questions about hybrids.... how much will it cost to replace the batteries when they will not accept a charge...? what will the landfills do with these batteries? there are drawbacks to any kind of battery....... just ask anyone who got sucked into buying a electric car years ago.... Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

But you left out the guy who sounds like he is about to give birth to a whale calf while trying to bench press 350... *** LOL I will include it in my next 10 most annoying .... Roy

just to play devils advocate here: if the WNE goes into effect, dont you think those low jump people who are hell bound to try swooping will just try it with larger canopies?*** Yes they will, but their odds of surviving are higher with a larger, more doscile wing over them, but then when they try high performance landings its the S&TA's job to tell them to knock their shit off.......... nine years ago If I had tried my emergency turn with anything smaller than my interceptor 220 over my head I would have died on the scene rather than break the tib/fib. I got lucky.... Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

LOL.............gotta love it but ..... it aint only the TM's that do it, My two partners and I were making a freefly dive and we were the biggest group on the plane full of freeflyers doing two ways or solo's - several years ago and the light went yellow, we opened the door and looked out, we couldnt tell where the hell we were....nothing looked familiar.... the light went green, we were still trying to figure out where we were and the screams of "go....GO....FUCKING GO" were quite ...uhhh, vocal, one of my partners looked at me as he prepared to swing out, I grabbed him and pulled the three of us out of everyones way and let them go.... to the mutterings of "assholes"...jerks....etc... ..... after the last jumper other than us went we looked out and finally recognised the dz.....WAY IN FRONT OF THE AIRPLANE...... we sat in the door for a minute or so then exited...... we had a great skydive and we were the only ones to land on the dz...... knowing where you are - and the exit separation are two very important safety issues !!! take your count and ignore them. its what I do. Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

if your going by the bible then who created it? and then I ask you why? *** and if the bible was created by god...... why would he need a copyright?? Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

People at the gym.... 1. The Naked Guy. All men are aware of this guy, even if they pretend not to be or not to notice. This is the guy who quite nonchalantly ambles about the locker room in his skin suit. The Naked Guy is a sly one. He first appears in the locker room in disguise, which is to say, wearing clothes. He selects a locker, typically the one right next to mine. His next step is to remove every article of clothing, save for possibly a pair of socks. Once in full, um, regalia, he completes his pre or post workout routine – completely naked. Note that this may or may not include a shower. If a shower is involved, Naked Guy prefers to simply drip dry, as he never brings a towel to cover up or dry off. He does his hair (if present), puts on cologne, shaves, weighs himself, examines himself, uses toilet, etc. all in the buff. Only after all of this does he begin to put his clothes on. Let me say that I think it’s a good thing that men don’t feel the same societal pressures that create the negative body image that American women typically feel. I am glad that The Naked Guy is comfortable with his body around others. He should realize, however, that I am not so comfortable with his body. 2. The Half-Ass. The Half-Ass comes in all shapes, sizes, and genders. This person is easily spotted. The Half-Ass does not confine itself to one piece of equipment or area – no, it is prolific. The best place to spot a Half-Ass is on a stair master. The Half-Ass is the one supporting anywhere from one to three quarters of its body weight with its arms on the handrails. The people in line for the cardio equipment, who want to sweat and do some calorie-burnin’ must wait and watch in agony as the Half-Ass daintily swishes its legs up the stairs. The Half-Ass hardly breaks a sweat, hardly raises its metabolism, and, consequently, hardly loses any weight. The only exercise the Half-Ass is diligent in is complaining about the poor results they receive when they “work out” so much. 3. The Super Model. Oh, such a fine line between desirable and annoying. Fair Super Model, you are so attractive. It’s hard not to stare when I walk by you while you do squat thrusts. You lend such handsome curves to the spandex fitness clothing you are wearing. Obviously, you work out primarily for the cosmetic benefits of fitness. Not as altruistic as just for fitness perhaps, but who can fault you for wanting to maintain the body you have. You certainly improve the view in the gym in my opinion. But wait, are you checking your mascara in the mirror? Wait, are you wearing mascara in the gym? Oh, you’re so pretty, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you came here straight from work. Good for you! Wait, are you actually applying mascara in the mirror? Alas, Super Model, you are now annoying. Do you lift anything? No. You do 2-3 reps of lunges with 5 lbs in each hand. Do you break a sweat? Maybe. But you immediately pat any droplets dry with your hand towel. Can I at least chat you up or as you for a spot or hit on you in any non-affronting manner? Not at all. You are there because your ego enjoys the constant attention you receive when you prance about in your 100% lycra cat suit from Banana Republic. 4. The Talk Show. Please shut up! Can’t you see I’m trying to lift here? I am not your training partner – he ran away screaming 30 minutes ago. You want to work in with me? Sure. You would like me to spot you on the bench? No problem. You want me to listen attentively while you rail on about your exciting job in custodial services management at the county jail? Sorry, no-can-do. I’m busy working out. 5. The Sweat Machine. Ugh. Bring a towel you Neanderthal. Sometimes the Sweat Machine is a woman, but it is usually a man. A large man. With man-boobs. He’s just finished his spin class or cardio-kick box class and seems to have forgotten his towel. He proceeds directly to all the padded equipment where he turns each area into a soupy mess. He does not mop up after, leaving his snail trail as a present for the next schmuck (me) to come along needing a bench. Hey, we’re in a club, you’re working out, you’re gonna sweat. I sweat. But I clean up. Bring a towel. Bring an extra shirt or two. Or lift first and then hit your spin class. P.S. Make sure your shirt isn’t see-thru when you sweat completely thru it – no one wants to see your convalescing nipples. 6. C&C Music Factory. My gym’s Muzak isn’t exactly motivating, so I understand your desire to bring your iPod to the gym. I do not understand, however, your pressing need to play it on earphones twice the size of your head at the same decibel level as a DC-10 taking off. And what’s with blaring the Backstreet Boys? Is that what inspires you to make your biceps bulge? Please, a little discretion, turn it down. 7. The Spandex Showcase. Most unfortunately, the Spandex Showcase suffers from the inverse spandex proportionality theorem. This law states that the more fit, trim, and attractive someone is, the less likely it is they will wear tight fitting spandex. Of course, the corollary to the theorem is that the fatter and greasier someone is, the more spandex they will wear. This specimen isn’t just annoying at gyms. Just go to an amusement park in Southern California on a hot summer day to witness the same phenomenon. Perhaps I’m being overly harsh, but it’s never the swimsuit model body types that go from ride to ride in spandex and bikinis. No. It’s someone who makes you think Shamu escaped from Sea World next door by slipping into a body suit and standing in line for the Cyclone (while two fisting sno-cones). My theory for the spandex is that it must allow these well-girthed patrons to slip easily into the safety restraints where well-fitted clothing would prevent such a maneuver. There’s nothing quite like looking to your left and seeing 30 lbs of arm fat satcheled in pink spandex as it sways rhythmically to and fro. 8. The Injury Waiting to Happen. What’s up, Stud? Yeah. You. The one loading 350 onto a bar with no collars and attempting to bench it without a spot and no warm up set. See that thing directly below the bar when you have it extended? Yep. That’s your face. You’re not supposed to get weight bars in it. Maybe you’re trying to show off for the Super Model. I can’t deny I sometimes puff up just a tad when walking by the Super Model. Perhaps you’ve never been taught proper technique. In any case, you’re going to get hurt. You may or may not know the skinny guy next to you doing the same exercise at a quarter of the weight you are with excellent form is building muscle twice as fast as you are thru a greater range of motion. While you, literally bouncing the bar of your sternum and arching your back, are a candidate for an ambulance ride to thoracic surgery. Or your pal, the one with the 120-pound recurve bar trying to do arm curls. Sure, he’s very massive, just like you, but big muscles do not a strong man make. He’s swinging the bar up to 90 degrees before even beginning to lift it. Then dropping it like a stone using his lower back to arrest the fall. It looks like he’s trying to dry-hump his gloved hands. Let’s fast forward and see how his lumbar vertebrae look 30 years from now. 9. The Gym Moss. You plant yourself in one spot, naturally the spot I also need to use, and never leave. You’re just like a nice moss, growing slowly and never moving on. Not inkling in your head that you might share. Here’s what I think your train of thought must look like: “Well, it’s 5:30p on a Monday in a busy downtown gym. Everybody will be off work and in here soon, so I should get to my spot quick. Ah, here it is. The squat rack. The only squat rack. First, let’s do 5 sets of 15 squats. Next, let’s do 5 x 10 sets of dead lifts inside the rack. Oh, I know there are a whole separate area and/or machine for dead lifts, but I like the rack. Besides, now that I’ve put the bar on the ground and loaded it, no one will ask me if they can work in on squats. Third, let’s do 5 sets of 10 shoulder presses in the rack. I know, I know, there are benches, machines, and dumbbells for shoulder press, which I should use because there’s only one rack, but I was here first. And I’ve only been here an hour… that’s not so much.” Stingy bastard. Be courteous. Stand off the rack between sets. Offer to let those waiting to work in with you. 10. John/Jane Q. Cell Phone. You, with no competition, take the number one most annoying spot. You don’t have to be in a gym to be annoying, but since there seems to be no place that provides solace from the cell phone, you’ve brought it with you to work out. Let me start out by saying that I would find you annoying if you were talking on your cell and: driving, standing in line at the grocery store, riding the city bus, in a movie theater, on an airplane, riding in a car with me while I drive, etc. But at the gym, that takes the taco, pal. There is nothing so important, save for your wife/girlfriend being pregnant and expecting any second, that you need to have your cell clipped to your ample waist while throwing up weight. If you want to incur my wrath, sit on a piece of equipment in a crowded gym, with people needing what you’re on, and talk to your buddy on your cell. I’ll never say anything to any of the other personas above, despite their obvious flaws, but I cannot resist with you. If you absolutely have to have it with you, turn the friggin’ ringer off and switch on the vibration mode. I don’t want 300lbs on my shoulders with your Yankee Doodle Dandy ring tone going off. If it does ring, answer it or shut it off… don’t let it ring thru to voice mail. Don’t use your cell to hold your place on a machine or bench. Use a towel. If you put your cell on a bench to hold it while you trot off to hit on Super Model, I will casually brush the phone onto the floor and start my set. Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

Ever felt the water works coming after a jump?*** yep, going for my tandem rating, first jump with the instructor, got distracted by several things - camera man almost taking us out and the instructor taking controll and putting us in a hard spin - and forgot the practice pulls while trying to negate the spin - when it came time to release the drogue...for the life of me couldnt feel the main drogue release, so went for the secondary, couldnt feel it either..... frantically tried to find either and gave up at around 4000' and focused on the reserve handle ( the only one you can see ) I had my hand on it as the instructor pulled the secondary........... If I had been one second faster on the reserve I may have killed myself and a good friend. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die when we got to the ground, he wasnt very happy, but did seem to enjoy dancing around waving the drogue release chanting "I got the handle... yep, I wanted to cry, We debriefed the dive extensively and I spent the whole evening mentally replaying the dive, and beating myself over it. got good and stinking drunk. then accepted that I had been given a hard lesson. the next one went picture perfect - (inspite of hitting the door frame on the way out ) and carwheeling end over end on the launch - while mentally doing the jedi mind trick---- "there is no side spin..." I wonder if his hearing has come back yet.... cause when I got the main release I screamed "YEAAA".... Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

So, what's the best advice you've ever gotten? *** from my dad, "don't start a fight but if one starts, keep hitting them till it stops" from my mom, extend respect to everyone that extends it to you. from my sister, "drop that loser skank"

. . . have sex discretely in public? Past or present - and did you get caught? *** rest stop between richland wa and star Idaho on our way to a boogie, yep got caught.... showers at Lost Prairie boogie, nope didnt get caught in her 4x4 parked in the fred meyers parking lot at 4pm, nope didnt get caught. sand dunes in mexico at a boogie, yep, got caught... in my motorhome with a cameraman standing outside the window (with camera).....well hell, we were caught before we got started ....... HEY!!! I am batting uhhh,,,, almost .500 whoooohooooooo Roy PS: vicodan and beer is gooood They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

Would everyone that's having the problem please do a trace route to see where the connection is lagging at. Then its not a game of "gee, I wonder if its the site or my computer" you know exactly where everything lags and proper steps can be taken to aleviate the problem. For most windows based computers: Open a command prompt. Type "tracert www.dropzone.com" *** ok, I did that, but it gets to 15 hops and then the window that is showing the paths dissapears!!!!! GAAAAA......... I hate computers... how do I get it to hang around long enough to cut and paste? thanks; Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

leg straps first, then chest strap followed by a 3 & 3 check, three points of attachment, and three handles. Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

I don't know if it's just me but the last week or so almost 50% of the time that I try to go from the main forum index to an individual forum, ie, general skydiving discussion, I end up with a time out and 'web site not responding' message. Maybe it's my computer, but I wondered if anyone else had noticed this? I have a dial-up connection. *** Hey HH, I have this identical problem, it just started happening within the last week, I also figured it was my computer..... thanks: Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

There was a time where I never worried... Times have changed*** same here......... sad isnt it - I used to leave my oakleys and wallet just sitting on a shelf, cant do that anymore it seems.... Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

When it isnt fun anymore - then I will quit. Otherwise, I will be doing this when I am a card carrying member of SON (skydivers over ninety)

post whoring??......what a shitty subject Dave Roy ps: be at Chrissy's later this eve, lets drink Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

why would they get offended? In five years of Instructing static line, I have had one student ask to see my license for my I rating. caught me off guard, I had to dig around my locker to find it. but I thought it was a very heads up thing to ask. Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

I had Lasik done on both eyes on December 18th and I am just absolutely astonished in how well I can see *** Pretty cool huh

heheh, in the words of turtle.....BITE ME!!! see ya saturday if your around. Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

Hey, no problem, I understand that I dont state my posts quite as eloquently as I could, and after re-reading my original post today, I can totally see why you took it the way you did

coupled with the wave off it works pretty good, but it could be misinterpreted..... Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

I havent ever seen a gage on how much lead produces what speed, but ten pounds should speed you up and make freefall with the fat bastards a bit easyer.... I was recovering from fracturing two vertebre in my back a few years ago, ten pounds made it easyer to fly with a 40 way, 20lbs made it a cake walk, .... except for the walking part... and damnit you really look like you need to do a few situps on video.... I was always told if you need more than ten, you need a slicker jumpsuit, or arch harder, just experiment a bit, borrow a friends vest and try it, I have known several jumpers that only had five pounds in thier vest and they swore by it.. Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.