JJohnson

What kind of sex were you having??? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

I don't even allow myself to have firearms. Using them is way to tempting......With a firearm you don't even need to get out of your chair to hurt someone! JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Humility????? It is so hard to be humble when you are a Marine......but you wouldn't understand, but don't worry God still loves you and the Corp still guards you while you sleep. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

What you do not know is that the Good Humor men are actually undercover elite Marine units, deployed to safeguard children.........genuis huh??? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Well with my new found state of mind I decided to come up with soem new rules for my step kids: 1) After your stupid boyfriends leave at 2:00 am, turn off the outside lights. If you don't I'll kick his ass and you get to pay the electric bill. 2) Turn off the computer when you are done with it or Step-daddy will kill you in your sleep with a knitting needle. You turned the damn thing on, so I know you know where the power button is. 3) After calling your stupid boyfriends at 2:30 am, to make sure he got home okay, return the fucking cordless phone to its charger. If Step-Daddy has to go in your room, dig through your dirty underwear to find a dead phone he will move all your furniture to the backyard and turn your room into the "Phone Recharging Room". 4) Return all TV, Stereo, DVD etc... remotes to where you got them from. If Step-Daddy has to launch a search party to find htem and misses any of the Football game because of it he will stick the remotes in your ass, so at least he knows where to find them later. 5) Asking for money needs to include a Please and Thank you. Special requests need to be more than 5 minutes advance notice. (For example: I need $200 for school books today, before 7:00 am!!!!!) Failure to do so will result in being beat with cattle prod. 6)The laundry room is not your hamper or closet. Clothes left in this area will be given to someone who will appreciate them and you will go to school naked. 7) Any child found guilty of not letting a dog outside to pee, will have their nose rubbed in the piss-spot that Step-Daddy finds on the rug when he gets home. Step-Daddy determines guilt as he sees fit. 8) The dishwasher is where dishes go after ou have used them. If found anywhere else in house they will be stuck up you ass. If found with layers of mold on them, you will lick them clean. 9) ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in Mommy and Step-Daddy's room is NOT yours. Before borrowing anything ask for permission. If we are not home to ask assume the answer is NO! This includes pornographic videotapes, the Sony PC-9 camcorder, knives, swords, clothes, tweezers, nail clippers, shoes or kinky sexual toys. Failure to obey will result in papercuts on your eyeballs and flushing the wound with lemon juice. 10) Giving smart-ass answers to Step-Daddy may be met with violent action. Common sense prior to opening mouth is strongly suggested. If there is any question, go ask Mommy what she thinks. Think the kids will have any problems adjusting to the new me? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

I get my ass kicked by lots of girls....whats your point??? Girls are tough and they got no balls to kick in.....How am I supposed to fight dirty??? Plus you girls got the boobs right there in front of you to distract me..... My dog is about the only creature on God's green earth that can approach me without hesitation. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

>illeterate grunts< Your point was what????? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

WTF, 13 years of no drinking and drugs and compared to the smoking that was easy. I could rip the toe nails off a kitten right now for being too cute, kick Mother Theresa in tits for being too nice, punch Ghandi for being a pansy....you name it. On the ride into work I was passed by school bus three times and coulda ran it off the road, watched it roll down a cliff and giggled hysterically while it burned.....At stop lights I contemplated beating other motorists just for the entertainment value. For lunch today I'm going to a sushi joint just to watch the cook chop the heads off of the fish. AAAHHHHH how long does this withdrawl last??? I shoulda listened to my mother and never started smoking in the first place. How was I to know she was actually right??? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Don't you be spewing venom at my beloved Corp. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Somebody had to get the fight started. We Marines couldn't sit around all day waiting for the Air Farce to finally drop something on target, the swab jockeys left the beach as soon as they gave us the ride and the Navy wouldn't even let the Army on the ship in the first place....something about mating with the bilge rats...... So the Marines do the dirty work, secure the place and then when the rough part is over we let the rest of you boys come in and hang on to the territory while we go find another fight to win. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

>MacArthur and Patton were both USMA grads and became

Well said. The B/A may help, but only for the abrasion factor. What is the old saying?? Hriszontal speed hurts, but vertical kills??? something like that. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Sometimes I forget that in a post people cannot hear the tone and inflection in your voice.......I am so under appreciated because of it. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Two weeks ago the family and I flew ATA down to Florida, Chicago Midway to Orlando, Ft. Meyers to Chicago on the return. I called ATA and asked if they had any policy regarding skydiving equipment...HAHAHAHAHA!!!! They said if it fits in the overhead or under the seat it was legal by them!!! TSA will not answer a phone, return a call or am email to save their lives....at least not any of my 20 trys to contact them. So at Chicago, while they are inspecting our checked bags I asked the nice lady from TSA that was digging through our underwear, what she thought about the parachute thing. Her answer was that it would never pass through the checkpoint. I was welcome to try, but she was confident that the boys downstairs would make me check it. I asked her if she knew anything about skydiving gear, or if she knew anything about USPA and TSA supposedly getting together for a little educational conversation........more vacant looks. What happened? We sat in security for 20 minutes.....waiting for my wifes bag to be searched for a set of keys, my rig went right through. Return trip no problems either...... Summary: TSA still ain't got a clue, they can change the rules as they deem fit whenever they choose and taking your rig as a carry on is still a crap shoot. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

I saw her and did her and got the t-shirt. She was so-so. The car was great though. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

And more Blah blah blah to you as well, the only thing you got right is that Marines are better than soldiers. The proof is obvious, look at who got the better dress uniform. Have you ever seen anyone look sharper than Marine in dress blues? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Blah blah blah............. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

The Marines have never made any unintentional fuck ups. They were all carefully planned to allow the other services to feel good about themselves. We Marines are concerned about the feelings and emotional well being of our little brothers and sisters in the other branches. Peace. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Yeah LSD was one of my favorites. Total reality break. Fun things to do on acid: Go to the drag races Drive on dark roads in a rain storm Drive on dark roads in a snow storm (awesome visual) Go to a really good haunted house, right after watching Halloween 1. Poor the liquid from a glow stick onto a frisbee and throw it. (I suggest a dark night, no streelt lights) Go in a dark tent and decorate it with the liquid from the glow sticks. (I suggest about 3 boxes) Worse thing to do on acid: Stay home alone and listen to the voices coming from the attic. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Brother if you cannot hear a functioning audible, change your name to deaf brick. I sometimes mount mine just to a pair of goggles and I could still hear it. Do you have a hard time hearing the alarm clock in the morning? I can sleep through any alarm no sweat, but a ringing phone wakes me up instantly. I had a Time Out with the flashing LED option. (Dog ate it and I got a Protrack) You can mount this LED in your goggles, and then see the audible going off. Maybe you should try that. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

>As a Jedi myself< Really? Where does one go for Jedi training? What batteries do you use in that light sabre? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

High: Seeing all the love for this girl. Low: Never getting the chance to meet her. She was obviously special. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Blue skies and God bless. My deepest condolences to her family. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

These Marines that you are refering to? I have a simple explanation: These are the elite of the other three services: Army, Navy and Airforce. We took them on the slight chance that they might make the grade as a jarhead. It is a common known fact that a Corporal in the Marines is equal to a Colonel in the other branches of service. This program is a little charity the Marines offer to the other three services. After we get them up to par, we send them back to their units where they normally go on to great things. Admiral Nimitz for example was once a Pfc in the Marines. Macarthur was a Sgt in the Marines, Patton made it to Gunny before going on to fame back in the Army. The Marines cannot be everywhere, so we need to help the other three along, you see. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

You are entitled to your opinion.......we Marines make sure that right is protected........of course your opinion is wrong, but not being a Marine I expect nothing else from you. >Tone down the rhetoric