JJohnson

I'm your guy...Super Asshole they call me. 2 ex-wives can't be wrong. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

I'm convinced I'm too short/heavy to be able to freefly in the tunnel.... 5 foot 4 inches, 170 pounds. I had there baggy ass, beat my nuts off suit and could barely get off the net. I'm sure with a lot more practise, and the tunnel running cold I could sit in there. Head down I'd go through the net and be outside. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Under normal human situations, of which the internet chattting is not one of them, attraction between two people is primarily physical. Not to say that this cannot be overcome or fucked up by personality, attitude etc. If you get to know someone, without ever seeing them perhaps that is a plus.....However perhaps the anonimity of the internet is misleading as well. It's much easier to act when not in front of an audience. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

If Dennis Miller needs a stand in you should apply. I'll also submit a new invention: TRAINING WHEELS FOR SUV's In the yuppie infested suburbs around Chicago we seem to have an overwhelming amount of soccer moms. Their preffered ride is either a green mini-van or more often an SUV that would make Aggie Dave green with envy. These women obviously have discovered the female penis envy thing here. That or they need these monster fucking trucks to get out of their driveways in the winter to haul all 18 of their rugrats to indoor T-ball and get all 30 tons of sugar coated mini-nukes and fish sticks home from the local food emporium. What I find amusing about these modern Panzer drivers is: a) Despite weather conditions they think 4 wheel drive enables you to stop on dime. b) Allows someone behind you to do the same. c) Although they know how to haul ass, tailgates, and slam on the hooks...they have not gotten the hand of turning. They seem to come to complete stops for fear of rolling their precious urban chariot over. Hence the need for training wheels on SUV's. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

I will also add: The Top Gun driver. This yo-yo is convinced he is Maverick and his 82 Ford Escort is frigging F-14. He is wearing the flight jacket, Rayban Aviators and even has that dashing scarf wrapped around his neck. (I'd like to tighten it a few notches) Look here Mav, you ain't scoring kills, the smoke from the afterburners is really the oil your engine is consuming.......SO GET OFF MY TAIL ASSHOLE BEFORE I HAVE YOUR BUTT FLYING A LOAD OF RUBBER DOGSHIT OUT OF CHINA!!! JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Well, now that I have been cigarette free for coming up on 3 weeks, I can say that my senses are quite heightened......I notice things now that I never did before....or at least more shit irritates the living hell out of me...... During my 1 hout 10 minute jaunt to work in the morning I have begun to notice certain kinds of people, some of which really should not be behind the wheel of a vehicle. I submit to you my humbel observations and encourage you to add to the list: 1) The Indiana Jones Driver. This is the person with that intensley focused look on their face. Teeth grinding together, sweat pouring over the upper lip and an absolute death grip on the steering wheel.....hands of course locked into the text book 10 and 2 o'clock position. Bottom line, every excursion into traffic is a fucking adventure for these people. They think going over 35 mph will peel the paint off their car from the wind force. Public transportation was invented for this class of sub-humans. 2) The I'm so God Damn important, my car is my second office people. You see them all the time. Suit and tie, yuppie pristine BMW or Mercedes. Cell phone plastered to the ear and obviously totally engrossed in selling whatever junk bond is popular that day. They normally have a laptop balanced on the passenger seat as well, followint the market. If you follow this person, invariably they will pull into Starbucks and go to the train station..all without ever getting off the cell phone....and continue their conversation (loudly) all they way to work. If this person is as wealthy as their suits and ego cars suggest, I think in the matter of public safety they should hire limos ot taxi cabs. 3) Barbie Doll..... You have all seen this chick. All five mirrors on the car (both side views, rear view and both sunvisor mirrors) are facing her. She even has custom lighting installed in the car to simulate whatever conditions that have at her work. She's got the mascara brush going a mile a minute, the lipstick painting away in the other hand...... I personally enjoy watching the paramedics at the scene of the accident..surgically pulling the brush out of her nose and lipstick out of her ear. On a good one, you can watch them remove the portable curling iron out of her ass.... 4) People over the age of 175....... These people would not be a problem if we mounted flashing beacons to their cars. We could all take preventive measures in advance......... 5) Mario Andretti the truck driver...... Here's the guy driving a truck the size of a football field and weaving in and out of traffic like he is delivering a donor heart to the operating table...C'mon dickhead, the construction sight is not going out of business cause your load of bricks s going be 15 minutes late. Pick a fucking lane and stay there so the rest of us can get around you. By the way, have lots of fun trying to stop that monster when the old lady pulls out in front of you. 6) Mr. I'm too cool to drive. Here we have the idiot in the pricless classic Cutlass or Vette or Porsche....and he is so cool he doesn't have to check mirrors or obey signals, image is everything...just stare straight ahead with those raybans on....don't blow the look dude, We are all supposed to predict where dickless is going.... I also love when these same fucknuts take these beautiful cars out in rush hour traffic during a snowstorm. No respect for the car.... And my personal favorite: 7) The enraged ex-smoker. You can spot this asswipe easily. He's the one turning eight shades of red, flipping off the priest while punching the roof of the car in frustration. Did I miss any?? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

You should have explained it to him like this: 1) If you feel the risk is too big for you to handle, don't go. 2) If you go, and feel that you are going to sue.....please consider that we don't let accidents live to tell the tale, so it would be your surviving heirs that would have to sue, not you. 3) And now based upon the attitude that you have shown me, you can trust the fact that IF you grow balls enough to come out to my playground you can rest assured that we won't let you play. So you can sue us for being prejudice against assholes. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

I saw a guy with an old hockey helmet, that was pretty cool. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

What is so funny about a documentary??? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

The most stupid shit on TV, won't watch any of it. I'd rather see re-runs of I Love Lucy. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Special forces??? That's kinda like special education or special olympics for Army ain't it? BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! oh I kill myself. Semper Fi brother. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

#5 was eye catching, and gets away from the flames that seem to be spreading everywhere lately....no pun intended. Nice rig. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Rook also was basically born and raised at a DZ. He probably logged freefall time when he dropped out of his mother. Not exactly a great comparison to the average skydiver. There is not a lot that Rook cannot do well....and yes he had great teachers, great talent and worked hard for it. Can you be good in mutliple disciplines?? yeah. All it takes is effort, time, money and dedication. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Pele, not only on all around skill but recognition on a global basis. The man is to futbol, what Jordan is to basketball. He makes the step from great player to legend. Everytime I'm in Sao Paulo, my friends take me to a local game. It impresses me how fanatical the people are about their local teams. Really makes me a fair weather Bears fan. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

All those shots at Byron and I didn't see one of Keith, Alan, Thunder or Mad John..whats up with that??? I'll be sending MJ a present at the DZ soon. It'll be a Blue kies sign, you'll know it when you see it. Nice pics. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Between the two of you is Heaven on Earth. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

You'll always be a criminal to us. When you get to kidnap and rape keep me mind. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Sit came pretty natural to me. I was able to sit in an RW suit, in shorts, with FF pants and no shirt.....HD...forget about it...I can't do shit. But in sit your drag is supposed to be the upper body, not the legs. So spandex, shorts, light sweat pants.. So long as you have more drap on top than on bottom. Also your type of build could play a factor. I'm short, so my legs don't stick out so much. A tall buddy of mine, if he forgets about his legs for a second....he's gone and flipped over. But he can hold HD better than I can. Basically, dress where you need the drag. If you get a suit, fine you'll learn to fly in it. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

BWAHAHAHAHA!!! The recoil looks like it broke them in half....that is priceless JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

heh heh heh........I got a job for you.......heh,heh.... JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Terve!! and kittos for your words as well. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

HERE HERE!!! well said. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Thank you all.....do you think giving up drinking coffee is too much at this point??? JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

Now that is fucked up..... JJ "Call me Darth Balls"

I find it real hard to believe the slider could apply that much force to the dive loops without sliding right over them....... Pretty strange man. JJ "Call me Darth Balls"