Farflung

I wonder what the best DF system for Cooper would be. I prefer a simplistic truncated parabolic, rotating antenna with the ability to attenuate a channelized signal but realize a quarter wavelength dish would be unwieldy. Using an interferometric array would eliminate rotational mass but increase frontal area and receiver complexity thus creating another compromise. I think I would choose the system being sold by a blonde, curvy sales’person’ with the most prominent main lobes. Because I’m all about science and the geo-location of VHF ground emissions; as long as geo-location of emissions means hanging with a searing hot chick.

Pressurization is yet another ‘headless corpse’ on this thread that is ceaselessly abused. I really don’t understand what the confusion is over except for the standard blinders being worn by those with a pre-plotted scenario with one true answer. Just wait a while and they will attempt to fly some more garbage science under the guise of seeking the truth (they all say it) or refer to the error as small or trivial once exposed (they all say it). http://n467us.com/Data%20Files/dbcooper_transcripts.pdf Flight 305 was never pressurized therefore it could not ‘lose’ pressure (ref PDF page 59 bottom). In the transcripts one can read how the plane was ordered to an intermediate level off of 7000 feet so the door could be opened. This would require the aft door (aka pressure vessel door) to be open in the first place thus madly hampering any attempt at pressurization. The aft stairs were released mere minutes (ref PDF page 69) after takeoff and made pressurization a moot point from that time forward. The placard was found much farther down course from where the stairs were open. I don’t think the stair opening was concurrent with the placard getting loose. On succeeding similar hijackings (LaPoint, McNally, McCoy and Heady) the crews were sure enough that their hijackers had jumped to land at the nearest airport (Why?). Flight 305 continued to fly and land at the agreed upon refueling airport of Reno, NV even though ATC suggested Medford, OR (ref PDF page 16-17) if they felt Cooper had jumped. This is another oft ignored data point for some strange reason. I would suggest that this action indicates some larger amount of ambiguity over the jump time of Cooper than is presently being talked about.

Say what you will about Marla but I think she has quite a bit of experience with aft stares. Except that crime will somehow avoid hundreds of false confessions. Weird. ‘Napkins’ come on rolls??? (I don’t think he meant napkins Dr Freud)

Where was the physical evidence found? The emergency stairs deployment placard was found somewhere around Toutle (pronounced: Where the phuq is that?), Washington by a litter controlling hunter. That dainty, frail little piece of plastic managed to flutter through that beastly storm and land within close (5 miles-ish) proximity to V-23. Did Cooper plant this item also? Sure would be easy to tear it off the insulation and put in his pocket for later nefarious use. Strange how little this is suggested or known. Then there is the money which was ‘buried’ even though young Brian did no digging. Oh well, what’s wrong with a little verb misuse? If there was a nine year old shoe or briefcase some miles up or down stream how many people would go out of their way to store those things in their kitchen overnight, then call the police? I’m guessing none but am ready to hear to the contrary. The money has that one distinct advantage over all the other evidence. Hey I just found a bunch of rotting, putrid, bacteria laced money on the beach, next to a seagull carcass. Let’s go home and spread it all across the kitchen table where we eat every day. This is acceptable behavior. Hey Honey, I just found an old business shoe in the woods, under DB Cooper’s flight path and put it on the couch, next to your Burberry purse. The next phone call would be to a divorce lawyer.

Here’s a little search tip arfuller: Look for an unusual word in an article like ‘Wilhelm’ in that latest find regarding flares. Next enter that semi-strange or unique word in the SEARCH box in the upper right of this page. Review results in the ‘Skydiving History & Trivia’ section for duplication. I doubt there is anyone who forgot the Janet fable but if it supports something you already want to believe then by all means use it.

I would likely rate Marla around a ‘2’, I suppose. I would like to make it higher but let’s face reality here; most women don’t want more than a 2 hour catbath given to their feet in the first place so anymore would simply be hyperbole. It could be domination too but I won’t put up with that no-way. That’s why I have such a strict personal limit on bootlicking, my dignity is not for sale (code for: call me Marla).

As well you should Vicki. You have been measured, patient and logical. Now it’s time to raise the hemline and attract some justice. Nothing too exotic, perhaps just a fishnet number, micro-mini and stilettos with at least a 50 degree rake. Haven’t given it much thought. But it’s a place to start. Then if people are still undecided you and Marla have numerous other avenues to consider. Oil wrestling combined with a protest to protect the rain forests with all you can eat Buffalo Wings. You could offer bourbon and seven, body shots if you want to try for the more sophisticated crowd. I think a demolition derby where the entire field of vehicles are Coopers and the drivers have to dress like Tina and when knocked out of the derby have to engage in a pillow fight with another eliminated driver; sort of a wild card element. This is all being enjoyed with some private label ‘DB Coobeer’. Then you will get some American justice.

Jerry Thomas, I have not said one way or the other since I’m not writing a book or selling anything. But the evidence suggests (just suggests here) that Cooper did not survive. The other theories require major leaps in logic to accept money getting buried and walkie-talkies with omni-directional antennas getting used or raging acts of sodomy in an Airstream trailer. If Martin McNally did hijack a 727, oops he hijacked two because some guy took his wife’s new car and slammed it into the first plane after seeing reports on the TV….. in a bar. But if he did this then it is just a matter of record that someone without jump experience managed to survive. No money, no weapon or pants…. but alive. It’s just a fact and non-emotive to me. I don’t have a burning desire to manipulate data or suppress information in order to arrive at my favorite answer. Too douche-y for me. With all this crazy assed grist from actual events it is hard for me to imagine the need to fabricate so much regarding Cooper but it has transcended all other hijackings simply because no one knows who did it. LD will remain the best suspect until someone more attractive than Marla enters the Cooper Coliseum and offers another long dead person. http://www.tulsaworld.com/webextra/itemsofinterest/centennial/centennial_storypage.asp?ID=070729_1_A4_spanc01672 Decide for yourself.

Smokin99 asks: “Actually, it would be interesting to know if any of the folks that actually hijacked a plane and left with a parachute DID NOT have some type of experience with a chute.” Martin McNally not only requested chutes he wanted instructions on how to use them. He had no jump experience. He jumped at night but lost his machine gun, money and……. pants. Fortunately he kept his dignity. He made it to a motel after the Sheriff picked up the pant less hijacker with twigs in his hair and some bruises. The Sheriff was out looking for the hijacker but McNally didn’t fit the description. I guess guys walking down the road sans pants and scraped up is par for the course in Peru, IN. I dunno.

With all the recent interest in the Cooper case and this thread, I felt it was time to make an introductory video. You’re welcome. http://youtu.be/UBCa-N7z_uM

Is there anything she can do wrong? Marla who would use the surface of the sun, to cool her feet is at a beer fest because she needs be ‘more cool’ to the mass market? Well meet your new master DBC thread. She could modify the Lewinski ‘blue dress thing’ and try using a habit instead and completely knock this one out of the Cooper ballpark and into orbit somewhere in the Kuiper Belt. What’s the next news bit about Marla, her used bath water turns into gasoline? That’s all that is left.

RobertMBlevins advises: “You go on TV and tell lies, pushing it off as truth? Then no one will speak to you again.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiIP_KDQmXs From your comment RobertMBlevins to Marla’s ears. Anyone think Marla has a ‘blue dress’ as proof that she is keeping secret, then when the naysayers hit a crest on the wave called ‘oh no she didn’t’ …… blammo? If she doesn’t, I have two words for Marla; call me.

Smokin99 asks all hot and nun-y: “What was Step 1?” Excellent question smokin99 and just the type I would expect from a three alarm Hunkette. Step 1 is Denial. Of course there is going to be resistance to the thought that Marla’s uncle is DB Cooper with many feelings getting bruised in the process. This is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Let’s face it, this has always been about beauty and not substance; I offer over one thousand thread pages as proof. So when handed lemons, make piss. There could have been worse outcomes besides Marla. Like someone ugly. Now that the shock is wearing off there is room for a little awe. Marla will fill the Doc Martens of High Cooperitess in a way that has not existed before and would rarely show her asp in the process. After acceptance is complete we can move on to Step 3, Dee Zee.

OK 377, I just sent an email to Randi’s website and predicted that Deathray is full of it. Now I’ll just sit back and wait for that tasty million to roll in so I can start that rehab center for hot nuns. Sure it will take all I’ve got but generosity knows no bounds and I just give and give and give.

37 Top Reasons Why Marla’s Uncle Is Cooper 1. Marla is blonde. 2. Marla is smoking hot. 3. Marla could be a hot nun. 4. He lived near (space and time is irrelevant on DZ) the landing zone. 5. Her uncle used two initials for a name. 6. Marla has a dazzling, bright smile. 7. Her uncle owned walkie-talkies. 8. Marla lived in Sisters which is what nuns are called. 9. Marla has NOT denied wearing Doc Martens. 10. Looking at Marla makes me happy. 11. Her uncle owned a Dan Cooper comic during the proper publication period and did not need to revise this statement. 12. The FBI Agent of Record says LD is Cooper. 13. He smoked cigarettes with coupons. 14. He drank booze. 15. His niece Marla is drop dead swat my butt with a car antenna, beguiling in appearance. 16. He lost $200,000 and Brian found $5,800 of it on a river bank; if LD took it home Brian would have found bupkis. 17. Marla makes me want to buy her real estate. 18. LD did NOT know how to open the stairs. 19. He lived closest to Portland, OR where the hijacking originated. 20. LD did not have any money and wanted some. 21. His arms were not hairy. 22. His brother drove him to the airport explaining why no taxi drivers remembered DB. 23. He knew how to ‘fake’ a pressure bump. 24. Beautiful Marla would not lie to me. 25. No one can prove he wasn’t on the plane. 26. He had no accent. 27. He could read French but never told anyone. 28. He owned shoes. 29. He never talked about the hijacking after it happened. 30. His lifestyle stayed the same because he lost the money. 31. Marla has such hypnotic, dancing eyes that she must be truthful. 32. LD was a Special Ops veteran. 33. LD was in the Navy. 34. LD was polite. 35. Marla may appear in a gentleman’s magazine. 36. LD’s name IS Cooper….. helllllloooooooooooo. 37. Defying odds, Marla’s name is also Cooper. GUILTY! Your honor, the prosecution sleeps the sleep of the righteous.

The video on the ‘Deliverance’ channel in Oregon works just fine in Farfonia. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkM0m-fB2Uw The reporting accuracy……. Ummm…. not so good.

Vicki teased with: “I was a spiderweb. You will have to use that imagination of yours.” OK Vicki, so for Halloween, you were a play on “what a tangled web we weave……” “When we practice to be hunky but only come across as a poser, on Dee Zee.” Clever….. very clever and oddly accurate and timely all things considered. So you were dressed like a Hot Nun then??

Vicki demurs with: “I should have sent MY picture in to Curtis Eng….” Just which ‘picture’ were you considering Vicki? The Hot Nun motif is always a winner but perhaps you had a different design in mind regarding the erstwhile young buck known as Eng. I’m sure me... we.. we would like to see that image. Perhaps your…. suspect …… case could be better than Marla’s. I dunno.

377 asks all cool, like he doesn’t know the answer: “Did your poygraph examiner tell you anything about your performance?” On my first polygraph 377, I asked “How did I do?” Without missing a beat he said “You should know”. From that I’ve learned to never ask that of a woman because I know she’s been to heaven and back. You’re welcome.

I had to take polygraph tests for employment and really, truly took the things (not some BS thread claim here). Here are some fun facts. They are extremely sedate, calm and relaxing sessions. Almost keep you on the cusp of slumber. They don’t want you to be sick or uncomfortable (no coughing, sneezing or pee pee dances to mess wit da machine). All questions were answered YES or NO. That’s all. No polygraph lasts hours except in Hollywood movies (where Americans get their education). Perhaps there are some others who had the lights focused on their faces while the interrogator asked where were you on November 24th until they cracked you like an egg. Please tell you story, it should be good.

Let’s review using the time tested and constantly repeated techniques practiced by those seeking the truth on this thread. There will be no resistance as I am now abandoning crosschecks and validation just like everyone else. Isn’t that great! A ‘simple phone call’ to Marla will tell you all you need to know. She is the direct and ONLY recipient of this shocking information handed down by Special Agent of Record Eng. There is no need to talk to anyone else as this has been the constant admonishment in the past, no excuses on this subject. Secondly, Marla is extremely attractive and as everyone knows; attractive women don’t lie but they are often around men who do. As it has been stated many, many, many times in the past “she has no reason to lie”. So that has been confirmed and eliminated as a possibility as well. Walkie-talkies have been discussed to the point of ad nausea and dismissed by the non-Ham contingent of the thread. Well lookie lookie what’s come home to roost on the beam of a Yagi Dipole. Yep, this attractive woman who was in direct contact with Agent Eng said radios were used. The FBI is closing the case, not because during a manpower shortage the office was deluged with constant calls from the delusional but because it is solved and LD is DB. LD is dead so there will be no trial (like Sam Byck) but we all have the satisfaction of seeing the case solved.

How could LD have been missed by everyone? I blame myself and this sure ends my Shirley MacLaine crusade which I carefully cultivated for years. I’m sure that today the thread will be filled with people who have long feces and I hope they cheer up. I know two things make me happy and that is a bouncy little tune. http://youtu.be/sLM0yHf3mnE Yep, I’m fellin’ better already.

Well, the FBI says LD looks the most like Cooper and since this is the Agent of Record there is no way to argue that. Plus who am I to judge since I only have two, lowly, non-FBI eyes which are not calibrated for DB Cooper looks more likeish and must defer to those with credentials. I’m done fighting that foolish battle and have learned my lesson. Yep, no sources or cross checks required or even wanted. I’ve decided to abandon linear logic in favor of the more conventional approach; what suspect or suspect’s agent makes me feel the most tingly in my ‘danger area’. This has worked perfectly fine in regard to choosing beers and Buffalo wings so why not let the same ethos guide me here? Damn right. I’ll follow Marla because she has the most logical, blonde, attractive, vivacious and delightful suspects I’ve seen. I applaud Agent Eng for his sage decision and would like to see much more of Marla in the coming years and decades. Thank gawd this long national nightmare is finally over.

What’s great about the Cooper story is how so many truths can exist because there is evidence to back every faith system till mortal combat decides the one true answer. Sorta like how the Druids and Easter Islanders got their asses kicked because worshiping rock is simply not right. But this was before science where illness and earthquakes were blamed on witches and gremlins. Now the Cooper money has been suggested (described with faux authority) to have been bound in bundles containing somewhere less than 100 bills to 1,000 strapped with rubber bands or paper straps or both. It makes no difference which, as it will be discounted as trivia and irrelevant so there is no need for any accurate measurement. There is just as much probability the money was wrapped in a single ‘mother pack’ of all $200,000 which was bound with an inner tube from the front tire of a Harley. Same is true for the aircraft’s ground track, it could be anywhere from center line of V-23 to several hundred thousand miles off course since it is all a matter of trivia when you want the plane to be at point X at H hour so that matches with what is bouncing around in that topsy-turvy hat holder. Whether you choose Cooperhenge, Cooper Island or the Northwest lines of Peru, you can always change things around. I’m going to worship Tina. Not because she holds any theory or information, I just really like looking at her.

So here it is….. http://youtu.be/Caij8QNB6hM