Farflung

Usually when someone comments about how this is the stupidest thread they have ever seen they apparently proceed to drift on to a place free of discourse which resembles some sort of Coke commercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q See what I mean? I attached a ‘source’ for those who may not be familiar with the above reference but I should warn that a person only watch a few seconds at a time, or perhaps begin with a ‘Kumbaya’ sing a long, before going into the saccharin belly of the beast. Grow… honey bees and snow white, turtle doves indeed. Now there is an ‘infamous’ Facebook page which has been referenced half a dozen times in regard to BobKnoss. I don’t think the thing even exists, otherwise there would have been a URL or a clicky thingy posted. For the thousandth time RobertMBlevins……. regarding the ‘Facebook’ account we should look at for ourselves…… source please. I will anxiously await continued silence or some ‘Poof’ excuse which have been such effective foils in the past.

Here is an overview video of Cooper-geddon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCAouwIn-Po&context=C319fc98ADOEgsToPDskILNooiAtqTF2gyNdcu6nv8

RobertMBlevins speculates about relationships with: “9) It's strictly a guess, but we believe the picture was snapped by either Bernie Christiansen, (alleged accomplice) or his wife......” Presumably this would be Mrs. Bernie Christiansen? I know this has been speculated about many, many times before and now it is confirmed.

I’ll give the memories of WX from 40 years past a dubious and weak plausible but little more. I need more evidence to support these ‘I remember’ claims, so I’ve masterfully created a little memory test. You can answer one or all or none. 1. What was the weather like the day John Lennon was murdered? 2. What was the weather like during the 9-11 attacks? 3. Describe the weather during Hurricane Katrina (wherever you were). 4. What were the second and third, worst weather days in Portland (or wherever)? 5. Describe the weather on Thanksgiving, 2006. 6. What Thanksgiving had the ‘best’ weather you remember? This seems like a fair weather memory test but I could be biased since my memory is so porous. I wonder why so many people can recall the WX on Turkeyday eve….. hmmmmm.

In order to establish validity a person MUST be a long time native of an area AND state that whatever event was “the worst I ever seen”. For those trying to follow along, this is from page four, paragraph two of the BSer’s guide to interpersonal communications. Using this technique instantly quells any skepticism in the disinterested or easily swayed, for people not in one of those groups it don’t work so good. I do wonder if these people could name the second worst storm they experienced and the date. OK, that was a lie; I never wonder that since they don’t know because the above is simply hyperbole and nothing more. The worst storm in Portland’s history according to Wikipedia was: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbus_Day_Storm_of_1962 Lawd have mercy, that sounds almost as bad as the lashing Portland took on that Thanksgiving Eve in ’71 (cough, bullshit, cough). Next is Phase II of the recovery with some painfully weak explanations. These long term residents did not live there in ’62 so that explains that (insert long uncomfortable pause). I guess I’m a lucky one because I’ve only had a handful of meteorologically driven memories in my life and they were actually given names like: Hurricane Frederick, Typhoon Vanessa and Blowing Betty. Actually the last one was a waitress from a Cracker Barrel but I can remember her very well, so I thought she met inclusion. The above can be combined with asymmetric philosophies where one day a person decries how they interview living, eye witnesses as a superior source of information. This is then followed by ignoring eye witnesses on a different event because they have a report from a computer which is now better. Oh, and because the second eye witness had an account that did not match a pre determined story. Almost forgot about that part.

I hope it isn’t too late St. Nick. Every time you hear a cowbell, a monkey gets his wings. http://youtu.be/nRejkjJUHYI

smokin99 noticed: “I couldn't get past this line.... "The body was identified as a skydiver because of the presence of an undeployed parachute at the scene." Good call Sherlock” Exactly smokin99, they initially searched months earlier and reported they did not find the body of a skydiver. Apparently they had found several bodies in and around the area but not one ‘of a skydiver’. My goodness, with all the corpses laying about the environs of Perris it is fortunate that the skydiver was still strapped to a parachute or they may still not know who it was. Perris is rather unique in that it nearly doubled in population within the last ten years. This was in spite of the fact that this hamlet is nestled in one of the most post-apocalyptic landscapes with endless views of utter devastation known to man with a climate that made people in hell coin the phrase ‘it could be worse’. But did this serve as a harbinger of a catastrophic melt-down in the real estate market looming on the horizon? No, because it’s California. I hope this will clarify some of the confusion associated with ‘Vacationing Vlad’, the many bodies which confounded the search, the apparent apathy of municipal corpse recovery and the good fortune of finding one in a parachute in Perris.

I need some scorching hot examples of womanity to get on video for me, just for fun and just give their opinion. Nothing unseemly or creepy where you look locked in fear or abject disgust, just your natural self after experiencing the rapture or a Maytag on a runaway spin cycle with an unbalanced load. Here’s some example, spontaneous, honest and heartfelt statements I’m looking for: A. Others will spend an empty life searching for what I experienced with him. B. He’s was like a caged animal both fascinating and primal, yet I could not leave. C. I’ve know what it’s like to experience the intergalactic once and want to share; but can’t. D. I just want to make enough money to cover the expense of sheets torn in a fit of endless ecstasy. E. I was stricken mute by my last experience (this would be hand signaled). F. Of course I would kill for him, what a stupid question. G. I have killed for him and would do it again…. (Lunges forward, camera fades to black). H. No. I. Yes. J. It could be repaired surgically but then what? K. It depends on what you mean by life altering experience. L. She is my twin sister. K. Who cares about time and space at that point? L. I joined the convent the day after. M. I left the convent the day before. N. I don’t think magnificence can be cloned. O. If he was cloned, I wouldn’t be alive to answer this question. P. My insurance covered all the recovery expenses. Q. Perfection simply isn’t strong enough of a word. There must be some melting point of tungsten, hot women who would be willing to go on video and just give a sampling of the above mentioned ‘opinions’ which will be fairly and truthfully used for a production on a subject which I can’t reveal at this time. Nothing douchey here and it’s just for fun and won’t be used as a foil to further a poorly veiled agenda. Honestly.

That story on ‘Vanishing Vlad’, the Russian who went mysteriously missing and was on the doorstep of Sasquatch and Roswell Aliens turned out to be another case study for me anyway. He is at least a microcosm of what the Cooper story has devolved into before the fables, faux analysis and repetitive shenanigans delivered by those just looking for the truth. Awwww, how noble. http://www.nctimes.com/news/local/canyon-lake/article_eea93729-2321-5c79-bb8b-b06638dd5525.html I quote “MAY be missing”. May indeed. His macro parameters were somewhat different from Cooper’s. The flight path was extremely contained. His description was missing from people who observed him, like the agent that sold the jump tickets (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g9WjcGdxuM) . It was day time and clear. There wasn’t a smoking hot Stewardess involved but there may have been an equally attractive jumper on the load but those buttholes writing the articles decided not to mention this or publish any pictures. They knew precisely when he jumped. On a strictly linear scale where the variable is distance and the result is time I think you may need to brace yourselves for these shocking implications. Given is a missing person who was less than one nautical mile from the departure end of the runway-FACT. Secondly, this person remained missing for two months-FACT. The search area had all the obstacles of a shopping mall parking lot at 3 AM-FACT. They searched with helicopters, dogs specially trained to sniff things, metal detectors, spy satellites, secret CIA agents that no one knew about, Scout Troop 453, Agent 007 and some chicks from Orange Julius only to find nothing-FACT. Thus proving Vlad lived. I have it on good information that ‘Vaporous Vlad’ was seen in the company of a meth addict from Corona before his jump and likely staged his disappearance in order to start a new and better life in Bombay Beach. There just needs to be someone smart enough, attractive enough and who cares about the truth, beer and puppies to get in the field and start knocking on doors until you flush out Vlad and his partner in crime hidden in that resort town on the shore of the Salton Sea. I’ll bravely continue my dazzlingly brilliant, focused, humble and non-manipulative analysis to dig up other leads or clues where people are not thinking outside the box (or any other hackneyed phrase) as my hunkyness compels me to do.

In painfully general terms, the RAF flew at night and the USAAF flew during the day. So if I was to infer any statistics on night jumps and survival it would be using RAF numbers. My neighbor who got shot down ended up in Stalag 17B, here’s his story (last mission bottom): http://www.303rdbg.com/358stewart.html So this indicates a few things: the three that jumped all survived, there were prison camps which were numbered to at least 17 and had to be subdivided into sections. In the realm of many versus few, this indicates many USAAF personnel were held prisoner (thousands) and they were likely delivered via mechanical failure or shoot down with the majority probably having a jump under their belt. I know, wicked scientific of me. Here’s a publication on Stalag 17B: http://www.valerosos.com/AMERICANPRISONERSOFWAR.pdf Of course I had to ask him about torture at the hands of the Hun and he said that was all Hollywood stuff. He said they knew the Germans were losing the war at that point and were probably running out of most everything. He said that someone had crafted a map and it hung on some wall and another guy built a receiver to listen to BBC or whatever broadcasts and plot them on the map. The guards let them keep it up since it was nonsense and nothing but American propaganda. He went on to say that around January of ’45 the commandant began to make semi-regular visits to that barracks for an update on the American Army’s progress. Apparently this was a massive morale boost as well. Hard to believe this guy never said a word about this experience, truly one of the ‘Greatest Generation’. You’re the ‘Stats Queen‘Orange1, so you tell us what the survival rate appears to be… 50, 65, 94.3456%?

Don’t think there was much ejection training in WWII. My neighbor bailed out of a B-17 and never said a word about it until I was in flight school and home on vacation. He asked what they ‘trained’ us to do in such a situation. I said there was exactly one approved method and only one technique mentioned. That was the ‘Tuck’ position where the knees were drawn to the chest in a sort of cannonball profile. He said nothing had changed since his jump in ’44. So if ‘training’ is being told to tuck everything in….. then that was the training. This was literally all the instruction I received (10 seconds total) but I’m sure this too can be made much, much more complicated. Using the chute, ejection seat, PLFs, survival kits, jumping into pits, swing landers, yes even radios and flares we were trained and trained and trained. We even had to eat bugs and drink our own urine as part of the training. OK, the urine part was a lie but jumping and freefall…………………. tuck. What did McCoy, McNally, LaPoint and Heady do? Why do these case studies always seem to suck the oxygen out of the thread? Is it because they abate the BS factor perhaps?

So there is a vast amount of opinion on what Cooper did for several seconds or whatever jumping from 10,000 feet. There appears to be an acceptable theory that he could have avoided a twirling, counter-intuitive spin of flaming death by deploying the chute off the stairs. Makes sense. What did Gary Powers do on his single and only, record breaking jump? From 60,000 feet to 15,000 feet I suppose a person could learn to stabilize themselves (at least he did) then pull at the right time or let the altimeter do it for you. Was he given a secret CIA freefall instruction along with a poison pin (so exciting)? Tens of thousands of aircrew knew how to use a chute but were not trained on how to fall or jump. Of four succeeding copycat jumpers, three had jump experience, two kept their money upon landing but both of them injured themselves. What did they do? Deploy from the stairs or freefall only to spin, what techniques? Something tells me there won’t be any empirical data about these events either. There must have been tens of thousands of Non-WHUFFOS without jump experience in WWII. You see they weren’t WHUFFOS because the planes were not perfectly good, so it made sense to jump. How many of them lived? What a bitch to survive a swarm of Messerschmitts, get out of a spinning bomber then ‘eat it’ because you didn’t arch enough. Oh well.

So why have a hard on for Brent Butler? Apparently he helps your sales. Using your philosophy and business experience, every time he posted something un-good, your sales went…….. up. Are you going to send him a thank you note or perhaps a tasteful gift basket from FTD? Instead you have made multiple posts about how your are exacting revenge on one Mr Butler by complaining to Amazon and banning him from commenting on your website. I would welcome ‘Mr Unexpected Cause And Circumstance For A New Revenue Stream Guy’ instead of trying to stop him. But I’m a simple man motivated by laziness and greed, not all this altruistic stuff the others claim every third week. Shame on me, shame I say! Be that as it may, real names were used on that blog and therefore were more credible than names which include Likes2spooge, Modernfartist and SofakingkoolUno. Yes, it has been proven time and time again that when people use their real names there is a total lack of doucheyness and the floodgates of sincerity and humility can finally allow the River Righteous to flow unabated. How could I be so blind?

Damn ol’ Vlad Frolov was one RCH from being legend, what a bummer. Of course in spite of all the aerodynamic expertise, weather watchers, sniffing dogs and helicopter searches some goober on a Deere had to blunder on the guy less than a mile from the airstrip and poke him with a stick. http://www.pe.com/local-news/local-news-headlines/20101201-remains-of-skydiver-found-in-perris-field.ece This story was straight out of the ‘DB Cooper Jr. starter kit’ for amateur guessers. He wasn’t missed by fellow jumpers since he travelled alone. I guess this makes one invisible too. Then his rental car sat in the customer saturated parking lot of the airport for five days. I’ve done similar things to avoid the gas purchase surcharge. How many things had to fail this guy? Primary, reserve, AAD, fellow jumpers and pilot, airport security, Avis Car Rental, Immigration, the Hampton Inn and Aeroflot before a co-worker called asking about any extra dead guys? Geesh, anywhere I go and it’s seconds until someone wants to help me or know what I’m doing there. Shame for 'Vanishing Vlad' who was part of KGB special ops and had known contacts at the Bun Boy in Baker where the exchange of iridium would take place between a fellow disenfranchised spy who wanted to secretly continue the Cold War near the World’s Tallest Thermometer. There could have been a thread where bat shit crazies could make stuff up and speak with faux authority and sell books and movies and……. whew, caught myself just in time. Too weird, I know.

You will need to do much better than that DangerousDan. You said you asked the question of ‘skydivers’ knowing full well that was not the case. This could be viewed as misrepresentation and is certainly not the finest example of being transparent. The honesty of the respondents was never in question. Honesty of the respondents is an odd target to focus on, so many respondents and so few survey takers. Just like those from India who were given a choice of beef or chicken. They were very honest and the results are accurate. The question and the selected participants were woefully skewed and the geometry of the curve would indicate such. The intent of the survey taker is the only thing in question and they will deflect and minimize. Nature of the beast. I don’t have a ‘guy’ (a book, a movie, video or any Tee shirts) and can be convinced of death or survivability equally well with a linear process free of stupefying leaps of logic or secret information. Additionally, I don’t understand why that would be an issue unless there is a predisposition to favor one answer over another. I guess this case can be solved through some democratic process via force of wills. If a jury of 12 can convict then a survey of 53 is a lock. Of course it only takes one on a jury to acquit but no need to add that to the mix. Good job though, you will influence the correct target audience.

I don’t even know why we have juries in the first place. The defendant will say it’s all just a big misunderstanding; again. This time he just got back from the dry cleaners that altered his pants too much and they came down while walking passed an elementary school, during recess, in the playground, with a bag of candy and using his cell camera to document dangerous protrusions on the slide. I’m sure that other people have had more charming experiences but I always arrived home to burn my clothes then take a shower with that brass brush from my charcoal grill in an attempt to remove some of the justice. It doesn’t work but I continue to try. Guess I’m just a romantic at heart.

They are so incredibly easy to skew with the best of intentions. Was this poll actually given to ‘skydivers’? Many who read this thread are most certainly not in that category. How many of Marla’s over 500 friends are skydivers? What would their predisposition be towards Cooper’s survivability if they believe Marla who said her uncle, who survived, did the crime? I think there is a wee bit of filtration regarding juries as well, but I’m not a law expert and do everything in my power to avoid any contact with the institution. Lawyers and judges know how much jury duty sucks so they wrote some laws excluding their participation in an institution they are sworn to honor. Just one experience in the jury pool and they may well review that cruel and unusual punishment thing. Oh well, c’est la vie.

Looks like I picked a bad week to NOT forget my statistics courses. Holy crap, that has to be among the most skewed curves I’ve seen this year. Others included favored cuisine in Mumbai where the choices were: Beef Wellington, Fillet Mignon, Hamburger, New York Strip and chicken. Can you believe over 99% chose chicken? I know and there were thousands and thousands of respondents who were randomly selected so it’s a legitimate poll, no douchebaggery going on here. Real nice of the US Poultry & Egg Association to sponsor such a study so I can now be popular and correct, by selecting chicken at my next dining opportunity. Yes. Why are so many polls used to manipulate, steer and influence people? Because it works silly. If you see one where the results are so heavily weighted to one side you can count on the question being shopped or skewed like asking ‘Do you care about your children’s future?’ Yes. Will this continue to be practiced for the centuries ahead? Yes. No independent thought; one thread, one hijacking, ONE COOPER!

Good job catching your antagonist being all deceitful and treacherous. You should drop the hammer on your therapist while you are at it also. He or she commented on this blog (bottom of page) you referenced a few days ago (16 Dec). I don’t have any problem with your postings being part of your therapy but the good Doctor could have made that point here instead of a CNN blog viewed by millions and millions of people. http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/01/secret-life-of-a-d-b-cooper-hijacking-witness-includes-disappearing-to-a-nunnery/

A name won’t mean a tinker’s damn without some corroborative evidence to establish the credibility of the Chinese ‘night clerk’. Whom has the night clerk been married to? Was it a woman and is everyone sure there was no secret behind scenes clam bumping going on that he didn’t know about? This is a minimal amount of information needed before any sort of determination can be made about the validity of the story. Next of course there will be a need for the standard, candid bathroom photographs with the lens focused on the toilet. None of that fake stuff either, because this thread is about class so you will have to provide proof, of just whose cooter is centered in the frame. I demand quality and intelligence just like everyone else. Let’s just say a silent, group prayer than no one is called a ‘poopy head’ since that would be bad. Amen. Then his name will matter, be it Wong, Smith or Jones. Then we can see if his story flies or sinks like a stone. None of this group answer stuff is ever legitimate either, since two Wongs won’t make a Wright.

Quade opined with: “If the beginning is disproven, then why on earth should anybody waste their time with the remaining chapters?” Then RobertMBlevins violently agrees with: “Exactly, Quade. You hit the nail on the head there.” This should be treated the same way a uhhh …. let’s say a book…. ummm… that started out saying that the Captain of the flight actually spoke with a hijacker. Since it was clearly false, the remainder of the document should be viewed as such without the benefit of amendment or revision. Hit the nail on the head indeed.

That’s right, the bus I took to school was so short, I had to drive. Knowing the vast amount of downstream thinking that takes place on this subject, I need some help. There appears to be some effort invested in proving if Marla observed Dan Cooper comics around her uncle. I’m going to get crazy here and assume that she did see that and a photograph exists as proof for just such a claim. Just assuming here, there’s no need to contact the global media yet. Then what? Has the Dan Cooper comic now been elevated to some level of proof that a person is DB if they owned or read this Brain Dead Sea Scroll? When did this occur exactly? It is a little bit funny to imagine the mythic proportions this comic has taken in spite of the utter lack of association with the hijacking of Flight 305. In addition to the fact that absolutely no one has the faintest clue how McNally, LaPoint or McCoy selected their alias let alone have any idea what they were. This is little more than a parlor game; void of logic, insane and now cruel with private information being tossed around like a headless corpse (think about collateral damage?) but still a parlor game. Hey, at least there’s no ‘name calling’ because that would be intolerable. I just thought someone might help me out with the relevance of this comic book now.

I guess I missed that memo about the surplus of women in the Cooper Vortex that are so hot they are required by federal law to wear radiation hazard signs. Her past marriages? Really? This would aid in the research of LD how? I couldn’t care less about Marla’s husbands, relationships or sex life. OK, that last part is a lie, but the first two are sincere because they have nothing to do with the Cooper hijacking. Marla’s response strikes me as demonstrating how she has a ‘large set’ and they are likely made of brass. Good for her since it effectively pimp slapped the accuser’s information into a greasy spot in the ‘cyber carpet’. I know I wouldn’t want to be the focus of Marla’s speed of light lashings, being mercilessly and repeatedly whipped and spanked while begging for the corporal punishment, which I so richly deserved to stop. OK, that was another lie.

Smokin99 asks intelligently and with blazing hotness aforethought: “Was this posted on here before? I know I've seen that creepy pic of DB Cooper smokin in the window somewhere. http://ifanboy.com/articles/preview-the-secret-history-of-d-b-cooper-1/ " You’re in luck smokin99 because after months of research (weird considering you asked about this yesterday) and digging, I managed to find the source of the image on a video which has been compared to ‘Citizen Kane’, ‘Sunset Boulevard’ and ‘The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies’. Take note around time (0:14-0:15): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBZMG9KutPs&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL I want to stay objective about this video which was clearly the product of divine guidance coupled with a genius rarely seen on this planet and several others. It’s modesty and humility that prevents any further discussion. This is in spite of the raw insistence that this video production clearly represents an opus magnum message that men fear and women desire.

Not being an expert on ‘objective reporting’ like others on the thread, I’m a bit perplexed by the now devastatingly famous, ten questions plus one email between RobertMBlevins and Marla. The architecture of the questions with these running narrative asterisks is unconventional and unnecessary since a person can answer what they had for lunch without knowing the reason for the query. If I don’t want to answer a question I use a coded response like….. I don’t want to answer that question. In dazzlingly objective, well written and fair ‘question number four’, the answers appear to…….. I hope and pray I can state this ever so delicately……. Migrate. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Let’s begin with the originally published answer: ” Yes. Except he said 'close,' not drop the case.” Versus what the red letter version (aka Marla Missive) contains: Yes. Except he said "close" not "drop" the case. Are you sure these aren't trick questions? That one was pretty tricky!” Why the difference between the OBJECTIVE answer published on the globally read Newsvine and the expanded version from Marla’s own keyboard? Marla went to the rare extent of not only answering the base questions but went on to add more detail like revealing that she thought the question was tricky. The most contemptible of bottom feeding attorneys would have objected to the leading nature of the question and someone with a seventh grade reading comprehension would notice the feeble steering. Fortunately this is the DBC thread where time, space and manipulation are either warped beyond recognition or utterly ignored. I think Marla was extremely open and direct with her responses to include asking if the entire communication would be published. This is not the behavior of someone trying to cover something up; editing a person’s responses does NOT get the same consideration in my world of ethics and fair play. Tough. I took Marla at face value where her answers twinkled like her eyes filled with limpid pools of deep blue water which keep at bay, the infernos of barely restrained passions that churn and swirl with an all consuming grasp on those who casually gaze into the mesmerizing Bessemer of …….. ummm….. gosh…… I guess I was just trying to say I sorta liked her answers. That’s all.