masterrig

________________________________________ Sheriff - Shire Rieve (I learned that in one of my Law Enforcement classes) He was the 'head' law enforcement for a particular area... rieve. PIG - Pride Integrity Guts (Definition made-up by police officers in response to anti-war activists during the Viet Nam War era) My wife, is a cop and uses the term 'PIG' quite often in a 'kidding' way. Chuck

Kevin, with all due respect, you can't be self-serving, because you're already taken. I'm talking about all the single guys who are bemoaning the sahara that is their love life. I'm sorry, guys. I know this was supposed to be a lighthearted thread, but I'm in a mood today, and this is a bug up my ass. rl __________________________________________ Well... snap out of it! Chuck

_________________________________________ Now, there's a visual! Walt, could use that in his porn story! Chuck

Now I'm thinking we need to start a new DZ.com porn story, but using the most amusing euphemisms for genitalia that we can come up with. It was a cold night in December. Waltappel could feel the throbbing in his wee-wee. He missed sweet RhondaLea and her heaving sweater puppies and her wet, hot, hoo-hoo.... How's that for a start? (I'm totally *not* into porn, but the ladies of dz.com inspire my hopeless romantic side. Here's how I would start it off) "Put the whips and chains away, Babe", said Walt. "It's not going to be like that this time. We're going to do it softly." She starts to undress, but Walt, gazing into her eyes, looking into her soul, gently grabs her hands and stops her. "I want to do that, and I'm not going to do it like it means nothing, because right now, you are everything to me. You are my world." Walt pulls her body against his, softly but firmly--like the beautiful soul that she is. She is starting to feel it now; starting to feel the little shivers that she knows will soon turn into the rippling waves of ecstacy that she so longs for. "I want you to kiss me softly," says Walt. She slowly brings her lips toward his. For the briefest moment they feel the heat of each others breath on their lips. For the tinest of moments, she gently presses her lips against his, then pulls back--just enough so they can see the "I want you" look in each others eyes. "Oooooooooooooooooh", she purrs, as Walt's hands glide down her back to caress her beautiful..............................." (Now THAT is how ya' start some porn!!!) And yes, in case your wondering, I really DO think like that. Walt _____________________________ Damned skippy, dood! I 'bout popped a chubby, readin' that! Chuck

__________________________________ That's one reason I don't watch FOX News. I might have gotten a bit carried away but, that's how I feel. the PC bunch is just going too far. Yeah, I (obviously), get my buttons pushed. P.S. I don't drink but, I thank you for the kind gesture. Got a Valium? Chuck

I used the words "pussy" and "cock" in a post in SC, and I freaked someone out enough that he actually commented on how graphic a remark I had made. So here I used "weiner," and I got back "vagina." I think from here on in, I'm going to stick with "cock" and "pussy." Just for the record, I prefer "tits" (which is actually correctly spelled "teats" but pronounced "tits") to "boobies." rl ________________________________________ I like your thinking! Cock, pussy, tits... it works for me! I just got through making a rant on the PC bunch 'cause, I'm tired of PC!!! You liberated me! Bless you! Chuck

That's just the way it is with the liberal PC idiots. They are so afraid of hurting someones feelings, they want to change our history, literature or whatever else they think might be offensive to someone. A.A. Milne wrote that book the way he did and the PC bunch, needs to leave it alone. What are they going to do next? Change 'Gone With The Wind' to where Scarlet O'Hara is a gay male and Rhett Butler is gay, so that the gays and lesbians aren't offended? I am not picking on gays and lesbians, either. I'm just trying to make a point. The PC bunch needs to sit down and shut-up and leave things alone. Just my opinion. Chuck

Funny, my ex-wife said the opposite.... I can understand why you didn't stay married to a woman with a taste for talc. And, btw, how did this boobie thread turn into a weiner thread? Just wondering. rl _________________________________________ It's just the normal 'chain of events'. Like was said, we get talking about boobies and inevitibly, the topic will turn to weiners. Perdonally, I'd rather the topic turned to vaginas. (I wasn't sure if I could say pussy in regard to females). It's just the way guys think. Chuck

I didn't get that when I looked at the pics but I took another look. Those upper arms look like toothpicks!!! Walt _____________________________________ The girl is, good looking but, she definately needs some red beans and rice, fried chicken, mashed taters and okra! Oh and she's gotta keep it down! Chuck

____________________________________ (Morgan voice) Poor Andy! It was the longest night of his life! (Morgan voice) He's probably, one of, if not,' best actors we have today. Chuck

__________________________________________ When finished, give the guy a big wet sloppy smooch... right on the lips! Chuck

Just so you know, men who powder their privates are not getting a blow job. Just so you know. rl _____________________________________ I can understand that! If, you did, somebody'd think, you'd been eatin' sugar donuts or worse! Chuck

____________________________________ Well, you see, the end result... posting on dz.com! I was a kid, the first time I got soap in my weiner. I was scared to death. I didn't know, like you if, the sumbitch was gonna fall-off or what. I decided, to keep my mouth shut and tough it out for a couple days. If, it still stung and burned, I was telling my dad. 'Bout that time, I had to pee! I started sweatin' like a whore in church. I settled down and decided to go ahead and try. After just a little bit, the sting was gone and things were workin' fairly good. As the day progressed and I had to go again, I realized that everything was gonna be o.k. Saved me from an embarrassing talk with my dad. Chuck

_______________________________________ After you 'squirt', there's a slight bit of suction and some of that stuff goes right-up your weiner! Just taking a shower and latheri'-up real good in that area you still get a bit of stinging in there. I know what you're saying, though! Chuck

__________________________________________ Oh, good lord! I learned my lesson, with the Old Spice. Desenex?! Dayum! Getcha some Gold Bond powder for that. Or, Baby powder. Ya' know, Walt, I'd laugh my ass off over that but I'm pretty guilty, myself. Chuck

I'm almost crying here from laughter. Why oh why would you put aftershave down there? I mean....seriously...a woman going to play in that region really doesn't want a mouthful of aftershave. ______________________________________ Heck, I was about 18 - 19 yrs. old and wasn't expecting a whole lot of 'action' that evening. I was in a fairly good mood, about the date and all. I figured, the after-shave would be good for the nicks and cuts. I still, get a cold chill, every time I see a bottle of Old Spice! Chuck

Whatever gets them off.... ______________________________________ Liquor works pretty good! Chuck

_________________________________________ Excellent advice! It would also preserve the flavor! Chuck

I check-in and out through the day, when I take little breaks. If, I had me one o' them govt. jobs, I could really stack-up the post numbers. That, wasn't nice. I shouldn't have said that about our govt. workers. Chuck

Chuck

_______________________________________ You can't help it! She's just cute as a speckled pup under a christmas tree, too! Chuck

I'm with Walt, on this one. There are too many, really good choices out there. There's some real talent here on dizzy.com! Chuck

I am at work and I am trying so hard not to laugh right now. This is starting to get really painful!!! Walt ______________________________________ Walt, have you ever noticed, when Bobbi gets on any of these threads, they suddenly take a turn toward the 'kinky'? Personally, I love it! This stuff is hot! Chuck

____________________________________ I wasn't laughin' at the time! I had to pick her up in about 20-minutes. The damned stingin' wouldn't quit! I think, it was Old Spice. To top it off, it was July and hot out and I started sweatin' 'down there'. I was in misery! Thank God, she had to get-up early the next morning. I got my ass back to the house and soaked in a cold tub of water. Chuck

__________________________________________ It's funny now, at the time, I was in agony! The dumb-ass things we do to 'attract' women! I felt much better, after it all grew back. Chuck