ScottishJohn

>> I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull >> a fast one". >> >> So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". >> He said "Eurostar?". >> I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin". >> >> So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". >> He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays". >> >> So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check >> tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. >> >> He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take that as a >> condiment". >> >> Do you know I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags. >> He's bisatchel. >> >> But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack >> myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. >> >> Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of >> seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a >>fire >> at the factory that makes them. >> >> So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was >> Weggie Kray. >> >> So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said >> "Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're >> closest". >> >> You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the >> night before and shoot the fox. >> >> The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, >> I said "Do you get my drift?". >> >> So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a >> complaint,this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled >> onions". >> >> So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a >> red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". >> I said "Waiter, >> I asked for a-ROMATIC duck". >> >> But I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a >> competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar. >> >> Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it >> will give birth to a litter of twiglets. >> >> So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your >> carpets?". >> I thought "That's all I need, a D'you-hoover's witness". >> >> You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic >> converter. >> >> So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a >> nuisance caller", he said "Not you again". >> >> Now did you know all male tennis players cast spells, for example >> Goran,even he's a witch. >> >> So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. >> I said "Are you two an item?". >> >> So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I >> thought "That's a turtle disaster". >Two fat blokes in a pub, >one says to the other >"your round." The >other one says "so are you, >you fat bastard" > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >Two cannibals eating a clown. >One says to the other "Does this taste funny to >you?" > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking >battery acid, the >other was eating fireworks. >They charged one and let the other one off. > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide >dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. >Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I >help, sir?' >'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >"Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of >a library and >go >'Aaaaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you >do the same thing >on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of >your trouser legs >and >put it in a library.' >I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books." > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >"And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and >people were chucking money to him. >I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said >'Yes, this my livelihood.' > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my >driving today. They >left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking >Fine.' So that was nice." > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > > "So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said I want >to buy an ice-cream'. >He said Hundreds & thousands?' >I said 'We'll start with one.' >He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' >I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom >in these trousers, yes.' > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a >tent.' >He said 'To camp?', >I said (butchly) 'Sorry, I want to buy a >tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' >He said 'Camper?' I said (campily) 'Make >your mind up.' > >------------------------------------------------------------ > >"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I >picked it up, and said >'Who's speaking please?' >And a voice said 'You are.'" > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that >the local swimming baths?' >He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'" > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > > >"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. >And there are > 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. > It's either my mum or my dad. > Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother >Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin." > > >------------------------------------------------------------ > > >"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my >boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. >And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been >promoted again.' >And I swerved again. >He rang up a third time and said 'You're >managing director.'And I went into a tree. >And a policeman came up and said 'What >happened to you?' >And I said 'I careered off the road.' > > Two soldiers are lost in the desert, and desparate for water. They see a > > market in the distance, and stagger towards it. Eventually, they arrive, > > and approach > > the first stall. > > "Please, let us have a sip of water," they beg. > > "Sorry, I've just got jelly, blancmange and custard," replies the > > stallholder. > > This continues through the market: no water, just jelly, blancmange and > > custard. Finally, the pair give up, and crawl on. One says to the other: > > "Didn't you think that was a bit odd: a market selling nothing but > jelly, > > blancmange and custard?" > > "Yes," replies the second. "It was a trifle bazaar." > > > > ***** > > > > Some front line soldiers were hungry and out of food. One of them > > remembered there was a bacon tree just over the hill so one of the > > soldiers went to fetch some. He never came back so another soldier went > > but he never came back. The first soldier decided to go and staggered > back > > half an hour later shot to pieces. He fell to the ground and with his > last > > breath said.....it wasn't a bacon tree...it was an ambush. > > > > ***** > > > > There were two prawns, James and Christian, swimming along the bottom of > > the ocean. James accidentally rubs up against an old lantern and > whoosh, > > a genie appears and grants James two wishes. After a moment's thought > > James decides that he wants to become a shark so as to gain the respect > of > > all the creatures of the sea. Whoosh............. James becomes a shark > > and swims off. > > > > Two weeks later James is upset. All of his old friends are now afraid > of > > him and his life is miserable. He decides to use his second wish, and > he > > wishes to be a prawn once again. Whoosh.... Now a prawn again, James > swims > > away to look for his mate Christian. When he arrives at Christian's > house > > he knocks on the door and shouts out for Christian. > > "Go away", says Christian, "you're a shark and you'll just eat me". > > "No I won't", shouts James, "I'm a prawn again Christian". > > > > ***** > > > > A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a > > family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in > Spain; > > they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to > his > > mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes > > she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are > twins > > - if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he's on a beach. The sand is purple. He can't believe it. The sky is purple. He walks around a bit and sees that there is purple grass, purple birds and purple fruit on the purple trees. He's shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn purple too........ "Oh no!" he says, "I've been marooned!" Top Ten Times in history when using the "f" word was appropriate: ----- 1) "What the f**k was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima 2) "Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" - Custer 3) "Any f**king idiot could understand that." - Einstein 4) "It does SO f**king look like her!" - Picasso 6) "How the f**k did you work that out?" - Pythagoras 5) "You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?" - Michaelangelo 4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f**king rain." - Joan of Arc 3) "Scattered f**king showers... my ass!" - Noah 2) "I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head!" - J.F.K. And the number one most appropriate reason to use the "f" word.... 1) "Who the f**k is going to know?" - Bill Clinton A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything and I'm using some of the insurance money for this trip." "That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked confused... "How do you start a flood?" Bill and Dale built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One day a shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. "Look at that," remarked Bill to Dale. "That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!" An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are deeply in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife demands sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi for advice. The rabbi listens to their story and makes the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man and while the two of you are making love have the young man wave a towel over you, as though he is fanning you both. "Make sure he is totally naked and she can see his manhood as he fans you both with the towel. That will help the wife fantasise, and should bring on a full-blown orgasm." They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he strips off and enthusiastically waves a towel over them both as they make love. But it doesn't help and still the wife is unsatisfied and frustrated. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi. "Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The hired hand really works with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming, creaming orgasm. Smiling, the husband drops the towel, taps the young man on the shoulder and says to him, triumphantly: "THAT'S how you wave a f*cking towel!" > The Reverend John Flapps was the minister of a small congregation in a > little Scottish town. One day he was walking down the Main Street when > he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in > the pub, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was very sinful and > not something a female member of his congregation should be doing. He > walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the > woman. "Mrs.McGlumphie," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place > for a female member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you > home?" "Nae Bother" she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When > Mrs. Mc Glumphie stood up from the bar, she began to stagger backwards > and forwards. The reverend realised that she had had too much to drink > and he grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost > their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few > seconds, the reverend wound up laying on top of Mrs.McGlumphie, her > skirt hiked up to her waist. The barman looked over the bar and said, > "Hey Jimmy, we don't allow that kind a' carrying oan in this pub!" The > reverend looked up at the barman and said, "But you don't understand, > I'm Pastor Flapps" The barman nodded and said, "Awe right then. If > you're that far in, you might as well finish!!" A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining", he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said. Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing". As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear". ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Bill and Dale built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One day a shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. "Look at that," remarked Bill to Dale. "That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Where do I start. Whats brown and looks sticky A stick ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

mostly the oil barons. I know what you mean. i'll be trying out the thermal underware I got at christmas this weekend.

A 90 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No". The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Is this fact or opinion ? I don't think you deny that mans influence is having a lasting effect on the climate. The organisation I work for employs around 1200 - 1300 people so around 100 working on climate is not an awful lot. We also have visiting scientist who come and work here from all over the world to use our facilities (cray's and climate models) Here is a breakdown of our funding taken from annual report. Money for climate reaserch is quite small when you compare it to the rest of the stuff we do. This is not some new "get rich quick scheme" to rob the tax payers many countries including the USA have Meteorological agencies which use large computer systems for modeling the atmosphere and oceans, we are not unique in that respect. A lot of governments are putting money into climate research as we are now more aware of the impact we doing. Wither the governments wish to do anything about the results they get from the research is a different matter. 2 001/2 2000/1 £'000 £'000 £'000 customer Core Direct Total Services Defence MoD 27,200 29,790 56,990 Civil Aviation CAA 16,711 9,642 26,353 Civil Departments 27,200 9,919 37,119 Climate Research DEFRA 7,758 7,758 Commercial 21,547 21, 547 Other 4,992 4,992 Total turnover 71,111 83,648 154,759 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Global warming does not mean that the entire globe will heat up but what will happen is climate change. And climate change will effect us all. some parts of the world will become hotter and drier while other parts become colder , other areas will be wetter and it's not just changes of weather patterns that we are seeing but extremes of weather as well. just because you think it is cold right now it does not mean that global warming is not happening. http://www.met-office.gov.uk/research/hadleycentre/index.html ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

It's not just getting things stolen that we should be worried about. What about someone putting something in your luggage i.e. drugs, explosives. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining", he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said. Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing". As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear". ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

There will be about 15 of us from Hinton arriving (mostly) on Christmas day and staying until the 8th Jan. We will probably be jumping most the time at lake wales. I can't wait it's bloody freezing here today max temperture of 3 deg C ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I thought this one was pretty funny. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I use a "Time out" from The Cool & Groovy Fridge Co. it is a nice slim audible that works for me. i don't need all the extra's you get with the pro track. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

You could try looking here for some info. http://www.aviatorsale.com/Regional_And_Commuter/ We get 17 jumpers + 2 crew in the Let 410 we have at Hinton. But there is also a modified Let 410 that operates with only 1 crew. http://www.aviatorsale.com/Regional_And_Commuter/ http://www.michian.co.uk/index.asp?acclass=TURBOPROP http://www.bgair.com/aircraft_available.htm ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENESS Stage 1 - CLEVER This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always right. And, of course, the person you are talking to is very wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER. Stage 2 - ATTRACTIVE This is when you realise that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in the entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun. Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have a bottomless wallet. You can also make bets at this stage because of course you are still CLEVER so naturally, you will always win. Anyway, it doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, in the knowledge that you are clearly the most ATTRACTIVE person present. Stage 4 - INVINCIBLE You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because you are now INVINCIBLE. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or strength. You have no fear of losing this battle, because as well as being INVINCIBLE you are CLEVER, you're RICH and you're more ATTRACTIVE than them anyway. Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do anything, because you are now INVISIBLE. You can dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You can also snog the face off them for the same reason. You are also INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know all the words. THE FIVE STAGES OF SOBERING UP Stage 1 - STUPID As you regain consciousness and begin to enjoy the headache, the churning stomach and the cold sweats, you realise that you have lost not only several hours of your life but also the ability to concentrate on anything whatsoever. You are now STUPID and will remain so for a minimum of 12 hours. Stage 2 - UGLY Never entirely happy with the effects of the bathroom mirror first thing you are horrified to discover that you have now become even UGLIER than you previously thought possible. Not only have you got bloodshot eyes and a glorious collection of spots but you are shaking so much that your grandfather probably looks healthier. Unfortunately you are still too STUPID to know better than to try and shave whilst shaking. Stage 3 - POOR Having crawled out of bed and got dressed you are about to shamble out the door when you discover that the money that was to last you the week is now missing from your wallet. Being STUPID, you have no idea what happened to it but the traces of curry on your clothes allow the possibility that you might have treated everyone to a takeaway at somepoint. Alternatively your pocket could have been picked or you might have given the taxi driver a fifty pound note by mistake. Rationalising that you couldn't possibly have been that STUPID and that you would remember being robbed, you come to believe hat you were the only one who bought any food or drinks all n ight and start to loathe all your friends. Stage 4 - FRAGILE As you are now STUPID, UGLY and POOR, your consequently FRAGILE self-esteem plummets. Your already FRAGILE physical condition ensures that you feel liable to shatter if anyone even speaks to you. Stage 5 - CONSPICUOUS This is the final stage of sobering up. Unfortunately, everyone can spot this CONSPICUOUS condition and its cause from a great distance. Even worse, they know that they can complete your misery by making fun of you, and that you are too STUPID to retaliate, too FRAGILE to hit them,too POOR to bribe them and too UGLY to hide. AND TO FOLLOW... Hangover Rating System 1 star hangover * No pain. No real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you. You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka redbulls. However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and side of fries. 2 star hangover * * No pain, but something is definitely amiss.. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails. 3 star hangover * * * Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive. Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because her perfume / aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 3:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching daytime TV. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once. 4 star hangover * * * * You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving or it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems depending on your gender). Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from the second-grade class picture circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one of the following: home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone or a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before. You scare small children in the street just by walking past them. 5 star hangover * * * * * You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe...... very gently. 6 star hangover * * * * * * You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that you bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter what you do you now you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail. After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures you find the toilet. If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls. You sit there on the floor in your undies cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived. Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark. With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils projectile out your mouth on the last occasion. It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She /He abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair. You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital. Work is not an option. The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving. You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

We have a rigger at our DZ called Pat. She used to jump but she doesn't anymore. Maybe she has done enough jumps that she can't be bothered or that she can't for some medical reason or she might be too busy attending to all our rigging needs to jump. There are lots of reasons why a rigger might not jump but if they have years of experience as a rigger then I wouldn't think twice about using their services. John ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

There is a mob of us from Hinton heading out to Lake Wales at Christmas time. most of us fly out Christmas day. We look forward to jumping in some decent weather for a change and to meet lots of new people and jump with them.

ROFLMAO, good one will. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Making an arse of himself again. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

OMG what have you done to will, bring him back. I can't believe that this is the same will who was on many of the dickhead loads last winter and done all of them hop n pops (some of them over the airfield). You know where we are whenever you want to come back will. just enjoy whatever it is you doing at the weekends now.

Never eat the yellow snow Wise words ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Modesty forbids me to answer this question ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Here's a funnie for thursday If George Bush was a woman.......... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers ~ME0002E.pps

I can't believe you posted a picture of the wicked witch from the south. That was not a nice thing to do. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

And if you don't have a kitty you can always have a go at dressing up you dog........ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Ok you asked for it and now your gonna get it. it may not be vin but it may get this thread locked. Put down your coffee before opening the attachment. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers