ScottishJohn

DOH ! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Test your scores. http://www.thesite.org/magazine/dodgy.html Crooked Ello, ello, ello… what 'ave we 'ere then…? You're living close to the edge and it's only a matter of time before you're collared by the Old Bill. You may have fallen on your feet so far, but it won't last forever. Have you ever thought about a more rewarding pastime? (Emotionally that is…) Based on your answers, we have calculated the maximum penalty for your crimes*: Years in prison: 37 Potential fine: £7000 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I don't think they have anything to worry about. After prolonged steroid abuse the size of their pecker will reduce. (maybe thats why they can wear G strings the size of a postage stamp) I suppose the only problem would be how to use a pair of tweazers in such big hands. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I got my copy of Rantoul 02 today and HM customs and Excise charged me £10.60 excise duty. Bastards. It came as quite a shock that I recieved the DVD as I had forgoten all about it because I ordered it when I was drunk and the web site crashed in the middle of ordering. I'm just going to search the building to find a DVD player and plug it into our overhead projector. (8 ft wide screen, nice) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I think you forgot a few other options for people going at it doggie style. 1 on her arse 2 on her back 3 the back of her head 4 the head board.

Anything from KFC. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I must change that picture your the second person to have nightmares after seeing it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Oh yes , it's for real. Bracknell is pretty bad for stupid roundabouts but I couldn't believe that some one actually sat down and designed this , maybe it was a practical joke that went too far. I wonder what it's like on monday morning rush hour. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Here is something that should help any drivers arriving at the UK for the first time. Ok, imagine you have to drive your car in Britain, and you’re less than enthusiastic about it, since you only recently got your driver’s license, and you’ll have to drive on the left lane. And then you see this: mr1.jpg You’re starting to wonder wtf that’s about. You didn’t see anything like this at your driving lessons. And a bit further, you stumble across this situation : mr2.jpg The magic roundabout ! Birds eye view.... mr3.jpg , mr4.jpg Aparantly they have 3 or 4 of these over here.... This ones in Swindon, between London and Cardiff. In the periphiral roundabouts you turn clockwise, in the centre you turn counterclockwise. As you can see, the traffic problem is essentially solved by scaring people into taking alternative routes. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

LOL, i've been trying to change it but with no luck. I saw the jump the guy jump on the news. It looked like quite a hard landing and he almost hit a fountain. He seemed ok as the police lead him away. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Just tell him to fuck off. Why bother wasting any more time on this loser. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Just spotted this ...... http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_778467.html ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

How about the ABC song put to boobies. http://www.geocities.co.jp/Milano-Cat/7098/abc.html ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Yes Make sure you print it off double sided to save on the paper though

Why not stick a TAXI sign on it and make some money out of it ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I've seen him nod off in a curry shop but didn't have a camera with me.

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife." "Well, tell me!" the man said. The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay." "Oh my god!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?" "Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her." "If that's the good news than what's the great news?" Mr. Wilkens demanded. The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Cheers will. My log book is now in the post. Can you store the jpgs on a CD for me while your at it.

Should have tried sprinkling glitter onthe end of your knob ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

I don't have one at the moment but I will have to think about getting one if I want to jump in France or at Empuriabrava (spain) as they are required for these places. I've done all my jumps since getting off student status on gear without one. it doesn't bother me not having one . ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

NSFW , There should be a new catagory NSWEP Not Safe Without Eye Protection. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

What about cyprus. isint there a millitary DZ there that allows civilians jumps http://www.angelfire.com/sd/cjsatcdiving/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

Here are a few options if you are stuck for something original to put on a card. These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss but I only slept with you because I was pissed I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face I love your smile, your face, and your eyes- Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up screaming My love you take my breath away What have you stepped in to smell this way My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "go to hell" What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime

Im so sorry if I kept you awake. I will move the bed tonight when I get home.

This guy didn't make it onto the awards this year but it was a good effort. Maybe next year he can try something else. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers