RhondaLea

The third alternative is that it was a joke. Sounds like. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

That's a good question... I was SUPPOSED to be out there this coming week for therapeutic training. However, it didn't pan out... So I'm pushin for a visit out there maybe after my NEW RIG is done, which will be mid feb. Prolly not before then. Sorry... He did the same thing to me, Keith. He's nothing more than a tease. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

That was my thought. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I'm willing to bet a lapdance that it is Kev.... You lapdance? If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Just for the record, I don't. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I hate ruining it because it's such a clever little toy. Your answer will always be divisible by 9, and all the numbers divisible by 9 always have the same symbol. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I went and read one of the chat logs. Then another one. The first guy skirted the edge, but there wasn't anything even close to overtly sexual, and "the child" was really egging him on. The second guy was more out there, but the "the child" really led him down the garden path. Someone needs to spank "the child." The most telling part of it all for me is that when it came time for both of them to actually make the meeting, they each backed away from it with a really lame excuse. In these cases, it looks to me like this group did nothing more than humiliate a guy who was never going to do anything anyway. Is this an answer to the problem? rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

This is his stated reason, and it may well be part of what he feels. However, the reason that male victims of child abuse become molesters themselves appears to be that it gives them a sense of mastery over the situation. They repeat the abuse again and again in an effort to overcome what was done to them. Women are less likely to do this because women are socialized differently; they tend to become perpetual victims instead. Sex crimes are shows of superior power, and they have much less to do with sexual lust than the desire for control. And this is where I get stuck with the whole mess, because there are people in this world with totally fucked psyches who still manage to keep a rein on it. So I have to ask myself what makes them different from those who don't. Pedophiles are one of the world's thorniest problems for me. I understand the roots of the problem, I well know how deep the injury that made them goes. I even understand why they shut off their empathy with respect to their victims. But all the reasons for what and why they are aren't enough to make me accept that they then go out and perpetuate the cycle. Celibacy may not be fun, but if the only thing that turns one on is an innocent child, I think it's the only answer. It's one thing to have a proclivity, but quite another to indulge it to the detriment of someone else. And a person who is unable to rein himself in probably deserves whatever he gets, in spite of his history. What concerns me about this television drama is that some of these men may have been keeping a grip on it right up to the point that they were faced with overwhelming temptation. Say what you will, but if you don't realize the 25-year old hot female you're having wild cybersex with is in reality a 56-year old fat man in need of a bath, you need to think again. The point is that cybersex isn't real, it's fantasy and roleplaying, and if parents were doing their job (monitoring usage and putting the appropriate controls in place), then no children would be getting hurt online. If a pedophile spends his time looking at 18+ girls and boys who are portrayed to be 13-year olds, is anyone being hurt? If that same pedophile is having an online conversation with an adult pretending to be a child, is anyone being hurt? The internet has made a lot possible. If you can't take the sickness out of a person, at least that person has a relatively harmless outlet for the sickness. I don't know the answer to any of these questions. It's a problem with which I have far too intimate an acquaintance to be entirely rational. My gut says that they should be cut off from society, but my head says that most of them are perfectly normal except for this one thing, and they do a lot of good in the world otherwise. I'll be interested to know if that Rabbi has ever actually touched a child. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Perhaps your right RL. I just know how i'd react to someone who did something like this to one of my babies. Me too. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I think I said something above about my gut instinct. I've well nigh given up writing about personal experience, because some of the folks around here mistake illustration for an invitation to address my experience and me instead of the issue. But I will say this much: pedophiles don't come from nowhere. You don't find pedophiles who were not first victims of pedophiles. Not all those who are molested as children grow up to be molesters (generally, male) or perpetual sexual victims (generally, female), but those who do grow up to be either of these were once child victims of another grown up victim. I know it's hard to have compassion for someone who hurts children, but you have to be mindful of how that person got to be where he is. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I don't know how to vote. My gut instinct is that pedophiles should be drawn and quartered, so public humiliation is relatively mild comparatively speaking. On the other hand, there are people with a desire for children who do not succumb to that temptation, but satisfy their needs in other ways. What I wonder is how many of these guys would actually have sought out a real-life encounter with a child in the absence of aggressive cooperation. I'm not saying that giving into it is right, but I am saying that these guys were pushed over the edge. It may be that some of them are active pedophiles, but how likely is that, really? I guess what I think is that if someone is laboring under a compulsion like this one, throwing temptation in his path is none too cool. But on the other hand, you have the issue of these guys going online for the purpose of having cyber encounters with children, so maybe that's more than enough to with which to damn their behavior and expose them to public shame. I understand your question about the media becoming involved in the administration of justice, but if we don't protect our children in every way possible, we're leaving the door open to create another generation of pedophiles. For people who don't have any internal restraints, the threat of exposure may be enough to prevent translating thoughts into deeds, in which case, this serves as an object lesson. In the case of pedophiles, mental help doesn't help, and jail time serves only to keep them away from kids (which is a good thing). No one has yet figured out how to rewire the proclivities of a child molester. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I think you should consider it an opportunity. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

You may very well be right. But it's going to come soon enough. There's no need to rush. As for the question, there's so much more of life to experience as you get older. So much to learn. So much to do and to feel. You don't realize that when you're young. But you will. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

What Jaye and Lisa said. If someone said to me right now: "It's you or your daughter, I wouldn't even have to think about it." rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I'd hire a lawfirm to file suit against NPS for the purpose of obtaining legal base access in Yosemite. And if there's anything left over, I'll...think of something. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Cover your eyes: http://www.flurl.com/uploaded/Base_Jumper_Suicide_19571.html rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Are we absolutely sure about this? Or did Ian set him up? rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Actually, for a skydiver, that means the rest of your life. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

He's adorable. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I answered "where you were born" but I think the real answer is "where you (mostly) grew up" because that has the most profound influence on who you become. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Holler. He's so cute. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I'm gonna miss the poor guy. I'm not. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

See the very last paragraph of this post: http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=404874#404874 If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Some instances of suicide, particularly those that do not succeed, are a little lot more manipulative than that. Among the personality-disordered, the "I'll show you, you son-of-a-bitch" rate of suicide attempts (parasuicide) is kinda high. This is pretty simplistic, but such people are not so much hopeless as so filled with rage that they will take extreme measures to exact their revenge on the object(s) of that rage. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

For someone who has been in the sport just a couple of years, 11 might be a lot. For someone who has been in the sport a lot longer, 11 might be pathetic. And given the talk on this board on most days, 11 doesn't even begin to cover it. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb