Greg

Damn!! how about one mans fantasy!!! (jeeze, its mine!!) lol.... Greg A-37958

I thought the story about the "misunderstanding" at Coventry, although, as you have mentioned, bad news, was an interesting story. I would rather read about it somewhere, than not hear about it at all. Although there is some sort of emphasis on getting more people into the sport, IMHO, I believe that people that are already involved want/need to hear these kinds of things to possibly alert them to potentially dangerous trends, unsafe activities/behavior, and certainly, at least for me, provides a reminder, that although so much fun, this is a potentially dangerous pass time. Greg A-37958

Kick ASS!!! I finally got a pic for my profile. Its a little distorted, but all in all, not bad!!! Wooohooooo!!! If my boss is going to make me show up on a freakin Saturday, then Im gonna do some stuff I want to do too!! At least I get to got to Eloy tomorrow, although, I hear Estrella has a Porter this weekend!! Blue ones!! Greg A-37958

Beer, any kind, any temperature, anywhere!! or, in the morning I like the "leftover" milk from my Cap N Crunch, the peanut butter kind. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!! Anyone ever drink beer with V8? Or beer bongs? I actually drank out of a yard glass the other day, those are cool!!

If you want a pool playing theme: Hey, ya wana play a little two ball? or Hey, how bout a little nine inch!!

OK, Im good for one more, then its time to get this weekend STARTED!!! Top 20 Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspirational Posters: 1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. 3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. 4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. 6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. 7. Plagiarism saves time. 8. If at first you don't succeed, try management. 9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself. 11. The beatings will continue until morale improves. 12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. 13. We waste time so you don't have to. 14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! 15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. 16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all. 17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. 18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. 19. Succeed in spite of management. 20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

Mayonaise Farming mixing love custard making love snot ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Actual Church Announcements: 1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 2. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. 3. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. 4. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. 5. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." 6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday. 7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 8. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 9. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams. 11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. 12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. 13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. 14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. 15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes. 16. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child. 17. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. 18. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." 19. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High." 20. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help. 21. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 22. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. 23. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in. 24. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 25. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Kepping with the Religous theme: A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00 This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE The Bishop was buried the next day.

Damn!! That was COOL!! It kinda reminds me of work in the morning!! lol Greg A-37958

Ok, one more before I get some work done: Two Sister's Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts. "Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn. "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen. "Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn. She opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off our car!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

I wish, I read in skydive that (i think it was perris) was having a "bridge the gap" boogie, to help newbies. I think its a great idea, alas, I cant get down there. Greg A-37958

buffing the pickle waxing the dolphin churnin butter peeling chillies wrassling the cyclops wrassling your manhood choking yule brenner

I have humor............ It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downstairs to pick up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main street. She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came up and asked her what she would like to drink. "Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I'll have myself zee cold beer." The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?" Helga blushed and replied "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Started off as a normal Saturday morning, my brother and I got to the DZ @ 8:30a, the air was brisk, but not too cold and there was a distant drone of one of the first loads of the day circling above. The forcast calld for partly cloudy skies with an afternoon high of 70 degrees. The DZ was packed but the mood on the ground was very relaxed and calm. We met up with a bunch of jumping buddies who had gotten there early, spread out a tarp, and secured the perfect spot right next to the main landing area. After a brief period of first jump jitters, one of my friends says "were up" and gathers our tickets, it was time to get geared up for the "coffee dive". We manifested on the same load with 6 friends that we like to jump with. We then found ourselves talking and joking at the end of the runway, then, in the distance, comming our way, there it was, the hero of the day, the Skyvan!! As we plie in the mood was almost electric. The next thing you know, we are 10,000' and its time to get ready. My heart was pounding! After trading smiles and good wishes with the other jumpers I looked at my altimeter and it read 13,000'. After a brief delay the exit lights begin to flicker and there is a noticable change in airspeed, then the yellow light flickers and then burns steadily. The door to the Skyvan opens and the back of the skyvan fills with bright light and the unmistakable sound of the relative wind. We all begin to shift around and fold up the seats to clear the door for exit. Then, the green light ignites and the yellow light fades out, its getting close!! After patiently watching the first group exit, the next thing I know, my bro and I are standing in the door. I notice one of my friends moving up behind us, and the camera is rolling! The view out the door was excellect, and so was the spot!!! There were some thin high clouds, visibility was great, but still almost "misty". The feel of the "refreshing" cool air......the smell of adreniline(sp) and jet fuel filled my lungs to bursting. After a 10 sec delay we are ready to exit. As we link up, the simles were ear to ear!! One last big deep breath and Ready...Set....Go!!! We exit in sort of a "stack" with my brother "standing" below me legs pointing straight out and me in a "hand stand" on his shoulders with my heels pressed firmly to the back of my legs. It seemed like we were on the "hill" for ever!! We flattened out @ 11,500' and held it for a bit. We again noticed the spot was perfect. The view was breath taking, with the sun still quite low in the sky with the panaramic view of mountains, and fields below. We finally broke formation and landed in smooth and calm winds @ 5-7 Mph. Ahhhhhhhhhh!! WoooooooHoooooooo!!!!!

oh yes mon.....4-20, woooooooooooohooooooooo!!! twist a hogleg, roll a bone, burn a #, today is your day!!! Zennie, you picked a great day to get married!!

Yeah, I set my pro track on SAS, man I love that thing!!. I was actually just curious, as I weigh @ 140-145 and I have to practically fold in half and jump nearly naked to get that fast on my belly, and you listed your weight as (sorry, I hope it was) 225 and were flying at 115.

Wow!! I have just started with larger groups, and RW in general, as well as just got a new pro track. We just did a couple five ways last Sunday (nothing serious mind you, not a team, just kinda goofin around a bit) but our average speed on both was @ 130 mph. I guess, with practice, we will slow down? Maybe? Greg A-37958

Hello Decorous, My home away from home is just about an hour southeast of Phoenix, in Eloy (Skydive AZ). The DZ is HUGE. We have three different landing areas, the main for the more experienced (also an east west only landing rule), an alternate for the less experienced (no east west restriction), and then a landing area specifically for students. Skydive AZ has 3 super otters, 1 skyvan, 1 porter, 1 king air, 1 dc-3, and 1 stearmen bi plane. Skydive AZ has all of the "ammenities" you would ever need, like The Bent Prop which is a bar and resteraunt, Square 2, Rigging Innovations, indoor packing in the main hangar, awesome instructors, the list really is almost endless!! Lots of friendly people too. Greg A-37958

WHEW!!

DISCLAIMER- I HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR Well...it was a cold winter's night back in the later days of December of 1969....my mother was rushed to the hospital.....and thats when it happened, I did my first night jump, it was a "static line" out of a "beaver". I would assume that there was careful consideration on the nickname I was given, they called me.......Greg!! That nickname has stuck with me for my entire life!! Sorry Tiger, no cool story associated with my nickname, but now maybe we can hear (read) yours!! Blue ones!! Greg A-37958

A lot depends on the dz. Many dz's have already adopted the new Integrated Student Program Basic Safety Requirements (ISP BSR's), there are, however, some that will allow you to proceede with the "old method", at least until January of 2002. You should check with whichever dz you are going to school at and ask if they have adopted the new ISP yet. Greg A-37958

yeah, jager has led to some of my most embarassing moments. To me, its like "liquid stupidity", but sometimes, thats just what I need!! Definatly better ice cold.

sounds risky, personally, I would either opt for a quick "shag" just before (before manifesting) or, like mentioned on another post, land out and "shag" out!! Not sure about you......but......my...ummmm....manhood..uh emmmm.......is not quite at "full glory" in the cold!! Talk about "corking" lol!!

Bwwwwaaaaahhahahahahahaha!! That is still funny, hee hee!! anyway, 137 cm 1cm = 0.3937011 inches 137 cm = 53.9370507 inches 53.9370507 inches = 4.494754225 feet say @ 4'5" That really doesnt seem correct , I think my teachers lied!!