Greg

Those are great pics!! I dont know, those shots, 3 and 4 look like an inverted skyvan to me!! Look at the clouds. I could be wrong, maybe Im high or something, but that looks like the top of the clouds, not the bottoms!!

WOW!! If I figgure a minimum of three minutes for each post, .........lets see............... 277 posts x 3 minutes = 831 minutes 831 minutes / 60 = 13.85 hours 13.85 hours x $50.00 (engineering hourly rate less G&A and Profit) = $692.50 Hmmmmmmm....... G&A = $692.50 x %1.1 = $761.75 Profit = $761.75 x %1.15 = $876.01 $876.01, thats roughly how much my boss has lost on me.......so far.........hee hee hee!! To be honest, I thought it would have been more. I guess I will have to try harder. I need to try to get the "bonus" I felt I deserved, but did not get last year for Christmas, which I figgure to be somewhere around $5,000.00. Greg A-37958

Great story!! I think he will be back in the air. Everyone should do it once.

When I see a girl I like, the first thing I think is, "OH, OH YES, good god, she is freakin HOT, I wonder if she is cool" then, after the blood comes back to my brain I think "look, she already has three guys hangin on her, how much will that eventually cost me", and then when reality sets in "she's already got a significant other, why bother". Nothing is free, sometimes even friendship has a price. At least from my experience.

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Mike, you have such a way with words!! But certainly, this could not possibly be the thinking behind such policy, could it? I am shocked to hear that this hits closer to "home" so to speak, to think thet this happens in the US is a suprise!! This is the first I have heard it, and I must say, F*CK ME RUNNING, the government has hounded me since I was 18 for not paying @ $5,000.00 in taxes my first year of elligibility, (give a kid a break, I was young, didnt know any better, have paid every year since, etc.) to think that the "blood money" the extort from me every month, pays for s*it like this!!! This is just outrageous!! And they wonder why..........

WTF Over, exactly how are bigger tits or getting a "dissmydickforme" sex change supposed to help someone defend thier country!?! This is disturbing!! This is exactly what happens when "liberals" gain control, I swear!! Personally, I am shocked that poor innocent taxpayes are having to pay for this crap!! They should at least get to have some say in what happens to thier tax dollars. If someone wants to chop off thier tool or bloat thier chest sacks, thats completely thier affair, but, so is the financial responsibility!! What if someone from that "military force" decided, "Hey, I would be happeir if I was KING/QUEEN OF THE WORLD", would they have the taxpayers buy the planet? Sheeeeesh!!

A couple I have tried are: Not sure what its called: exit linked or free and link up after the hill. Get grips, then each drop your left knee, and hold on for as long as you can. You can get a fairly fast "helecopter" like spin, its fun. Two way Horney Gorilla's are fun too!! Try exiting with your legs linked!! Greg A-37958

Not quite poetry, but I like it!! Believer Watching the time go and feeling belief grow Rise above the obstacles People beseech me but they'll never teach me Things that I already know (I know) Dreams that have shattered may not have mattered Take another point of view Doubts will arise though like chasing a rainbow I can tell a thing or two (That's true) You've got to believe in yourself or no one Will believe in you Imagination like a bird on the wing Flying, free for you to use (O.K. baby) I can't believe they stop and stare And point their fingers doubting me Their disbelief suppresses them But they're not blind it's just that they won't see I'm a believer, I ain't no deceiver Mountains move before my eyes Destiny planned out I don't need no handout Speculation of the wise

How bout "slidin down a razor blade using your testicals for brakes" or "sucking a dead dogs nose until its head caves in" This kinda reminds me of that little diddy about miles and miles of green greasy gopher guts and me without a spoon!!

Good one Diva, here is a "military one" for you: Who's at fault? A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an Army Warrant officer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, it makes no sense to me; and the fact is, I am still lost." The man below responded, "You must be an Army Colonel." "I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Hey Pammi, Boy, can I relate to that!! I have an ex from hell, and it doesnt even have to be "skydiving", it can be anything. For example, I like to have a few beers on the weekends for sure, but also maybe 2 or 3 after work as well. Well, as she knew this, when we got divorced, she took me to court, made me go through 18 months of random drug testing, yes to look for alcohol!! Since we divorced, I have started skydiving. I try not to let her know that I do it, but, my daughter talks!! Unfortunatly, it has now become, somewhat of an issue, as I want to skydive, but the ex wants me to spend all my weekends at soccer practice and such. Ive been told not to take her to the dz anymore. It sucks!!

OK Skreamer, here is one for you: Please note that with the arrival of the new "Drive-thru" cash point machines customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use the machine for the first time. MALE PROCEDURE 1 Drive up to the cash machine. 2 Wind down your car window. 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5 Retrieve card, cash, and receipt. 6 Wind up window. 7 Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE 1 Drive up to cash machine. 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine. 3 Re-start the stalled engine. 4 Wind down the window. 5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 6 Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror. 7 Attempt to insert card into machine. 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 9 Insert card. 10 Insert card the right way up. 11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 12 Enter PIN. 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 14 Enter amount of cash required. 15 Re-check make up in rear view mirror. 16 Retrieve cash and receipt. 17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 18 Place receipt in back of cheque book. 19 Re-check make-up again. 20 Drive forwards 2 meters. 21 Reverse back to cash machine. 22 Retrieve card. 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 24 Re-check make-up. 25 Restart stalled engine and pull off. 26 Drive for 3 to 4 miles. 27 Release hand brake. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Skreamer, that is kick arse!!! Damn, how freakin TRUE!! Bwwwwaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Please note...these are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE! 1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear. 1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and race cars. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!! 1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! 1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 1. Check your oil. Please. 1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissiblein an argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. 1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs. 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet, attic, basement or worse, the garbage. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

I think Im gonna go find rec. skydiving now!!

Disclaimer....nothing personal, just making conversation This should make some noise.......FLAME ON!!! NEW MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman =romance Smart man + dumb woman = fair Dumb man + smart woman =marriage Dumb man + dumb woman =pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee =profit Smart boss + dumb employee =production Dumb boss + smart employee =promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee =overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. MEMORY Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. APPEARANCE Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Boy, its gonna get hot.........

Bwwwaaaahahahahahaha!!! Damn bloody cheeky, this one, lol

Man, I watched this for the first time last night, boy, that little English woman is BRUTAL!!! What a great but extreme game show. Im not much for "fluff" tv (read I like documentries, and news shows), but I have to admitt, the writers of that show got me!! Im hooked!!

I notice that alot of folks have pilots in thier families, I forgot to mention, my dad has been a pilot....jeeze.....I think since the Wright Brothers, thats it, he was the third Wright brother (just kidding pops) Seriously, for about 25-30 years. He is actually a crash investigator for Bell Textron now. I dont think he would ever consider volentarily jump out, as he has told me, but I believe he ejected once, back in his fighter jet days.

Man, I tell ya, I was just sitting at the park down the street from my office for lunch. Here in Phoenix, they use this "irrigation" thing in all of the parks, where they flood the park about 8" deep and let it soak in. Anyway, these f*cking birds, they come in fast, fly low over the water, and dip just the tip of thier wings in the water, (a pretty weak attempt, ya little winged b*stard) and then "flare" for lack of a better term and land. Then s*it or eat a bug, and its off again!! GET A F*UKEN JOB, why is it that those little homos get to do that all day, and I gotta work!! Its not fair, at ALL!!

The hardest part has to be the agonizing periods of inactivity between weekends. This time used to be filled with constructive things like work, and family, but now they taunt me, laugh at me, like all those damn birds!! It is coupled with the systematic extortion of all finances from my account, oh, my poor savings!!! I will have to live out retirement with an awesome rig, pro track, helmet, gear bag, gloves, goggles, wrist mount, and live in a cardboard box, oh, the pain, the pain!! It has also done some serious dammage to my attention span, I can concentrate on just about anything for 60 seconds, intently, at which time my brain now expects to be rewarded with an awesome view, and cool breeze. I just cant get that during the week, especially here at work!! But I digress........ I think the hardest thing about skydiving is........not skydiving!!

The bar is actually under the door, kind of on the bottom of the plane. But, yeah, I have seen the "hangin from the feet" thing, and it is sooooo cool!! You can actually launch some kick ass exits, the door is huge. Its like jumping out of your garrage door!! Blue ones!! Greg A-37958

She will hold @ 20-23 very happy jumpers, and depending on the load, can gracefully acsend to @ 14 K in 10-15 minutes. She is my favorite, and I know I will miss her, seems like she will be gone most of the summer. You are in for a real treat if you have not tried a jump out of the skyvan. Works great for launching tubes, and horney gorillas, plus it has a bar underneath that you can hang from (I have not tried that yet, but Ive seen it done!!)

Alright, I will try to describe it. It is, I believe, a "vegatable" spread, or paste sometimes refered to as "vegimite". Its extremely salty (I would liken it to eating a raw "cube" of boulion base), black as bowl resin (and almost as messy), with a consistancy the closely resembles 40 weight gear oil. Dont eat this stuff!!

I just checked in at my dz web site and it looks like there are a few of you lucky people who will be getting to jump out of "our" planes, but it seems to me like we may be "a little short" here at home!! Anyway, a few "of note" appearences for the Skydive AZ fleet are: June 14-17 (1) Super Skyvan @ Skydance June 29-July 1 (1) Super Otter @ Ogden July 21-30 (2) Super Otters and (1) Super Skyvan @ Lost Prarie August 3-12 (2) Super Otters and (1) Super Skyvan @ Quincy August 31- Sept 4 (2) Super Otters and (1) Super Skyvan @ Couch Freaks, Fort Dodge, IA September 28-30 (2) Super Otters and (1) Super Skyvan @ Byron Boys Boogie, Byron, CA Have fun!!! Greg A-37958