vortexring

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Everything posted by vortexring

  1. We live in a shit money making/ money worshipping society. It fuckin' stinks. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  2. An oldie! I've heard a few though. They used to crack me up, until I realised they were said continually over the years. A good one for drill instructors was to scream the students should rip their arm away, as if they're ripping Harold Shipman off their mother. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  3. Blimey - VB is another personality who rates very highly on the shit-ometer. With her shit husband too. I once read an article where the journalist was discussing why a fair amount of the public have a dislike for the pair, especially as they haven't even met them. His conclusion was that it was envy of their wealth. Bollocks! It's because they're shit! 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  4. Can he really be so shit? It beggars belief sometimes. I felt having a chip on his shoulder was something he'd be more than likely to overcome. Seems not though. Seems it's more like a bag of fucking McCains oven readies.... 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  5. He certainly deserves a drink - what a remarkably mature point of view to have on his situation. All the best to J. Hubbard. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  6. Dunno about that - still, you must see these problems everyday, seeing as you're a police officer. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  7. ! Have you noticed how the waist is becoming lower and lower? It's like an optical illusion - how do they stay up? Daft buggers. The Russians used to have similiar type trousers issued to their political prisoners - it'd reduce their mobility as they'd always have a hand holding them up. Perhaps this trend came from the Gulags or somewhere. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  8. Personal responsibility, integrity and pride are no longer taught in public schools by the fucking teachers. Aha, so it's the fucking shit teachers' fault! Incidentally, dear American cousins, I hear that Prime Minister Brown is visiting your shores at the moment. Could you do us all a favour and hold on to him for, oh I don't know, forever? It's just he's the most boring bloke in the whole world and life would be more interesting without him. Thanks in advance, -DZJ Don't be daft! I've still to achieve my objective of establishing whether he's a badger in human form or a human in badger form...still, at least the carrier contract won't be torn up for the time being, considering the location of where they'll be built, and where he's from.... 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  9. Cheers mate; I think I've already done so!
  10. Man, he is so on a first class ticket ride to the toaster... 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  11. I've been for my walk. On the way there I observed young lads driving outrageously fast past a children's play area. What is it these days with young lads buying utterly shit fourth/fifth hand cars and then spending a fortune putting shit body skirts and spoilers onto them? Is from the hilariously shit film 'too fast, too furious' film, starring that vin petrol dickhead? Anyway, not that any children would be playing in the park - they'd be too busy getting drunk, stoned and pregnant. Anyway, I'm in the shit garage in line behind some old man. He's counting up his pennies to pay for a pint of milk. Some pale, spotty, chinless youth is behind the counter being impatient. Chewing away on his gum, slack jawed, like a cow, whilst huffing and hawing over the time the old mans taking to count his money. He dropped a couple of pennies. Seems the old bloke has a bit of the old-age 'disco hand' syndrome. Me, and a lady also waiting, help him pick the coins up. The man looks absolutely horrified. Of the affliction of his age? His inability to drag the horrible little youth over the counter and punch blue bastard fuck out of him and teach him to respect the elderly? Who knows. I felt like offering to take him for a pint - maybe save him getting mugged for his pint of milk. Instead he drove off in his car - probably late for his multiple vehicle pileup. Fuck it. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  12. I pretty much agree with your points Darius but where I can get a little 'excited' about things (you know; face turning purple - boiling kettle appearing on top of head), is when I look at how deeply things have become shit - throughout every avenue of physical day to day life, until it seeps into our mentalities. What I find especially worrying is I'm generally becoming less angry about things and instead laughing manically at them.... Like the soldier blown apart in Afghanistan who'll need constant care for the remainder of his unfortunate life, and the typist who suffered repetitive strain injury on her thumb around the same time. He was rewarded less than half her pay out, and initially it was even less until there was a public outcry. Politicians!! I'm not even going to start on this subject. The hammer would no doubt end up being deployed and Lawrocket would be up all night trying to count the swearywords. And then i'd end up buying a mac. Fuck it - I'm going for a drive to the petrol station which sells fuel at insane prices: £1:22 per li of diesel($2:44) and buy a packet of fags: £5:80 ($11:60) and maybe pop into the pub for a pint: £3:50 ($7:00). In fact, I think I'll just go for a wee walk.... 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  13. It all begins with minor points, such as trying to sort out an internet connection where the ISP continually fuck up you're details and their billing methods, fixing up a domestic wireless network where you feel inclined to call a dedicated customer support team - which inevitably turns out to be somebody with a poor grasp of English working in a call centre/sweathouse in Jalalabad or Timbuktu for fucks sake. Vista (!!!); Jesus! The Operating System of the Devil. In fact, you could just include computers in general with this rant. The amount of precious time lost fucking around with simplistic IT issues. Dealing with gas and electricity issues; again, continual minor fuck ups which then necessitate hours making phonecalls to automated services which fuck you aound until you're close to tears and the phone handle has received some new crush marks, to then speak to some indifferent, ignorant little nob jockey who insists you've come through to the wrong place - who then assures you he'll connect you to the right place and then the line disconnects...and the fuckin' merry-go-round starts again. Any contact with a large scale organisation and you can happily expect a fuck up of some sort. Watch your shit TV and news channels and it only becomes more apparant. Especially if it has anything to do with america. Not that the UK is any better these days; Heathrows T5? Typical British workmanship there. The Millenium dome, the sodding Millenium bridge, The list here is endless. And they're all shit. Shit TV shows such as Pop Idol are often condemned for humiliating and running down untalented contestants. I can't understand why - they're only telling potentially shit pop idols they're shit. But the whole celebrity culture is shit. Utter shit. I fucking detest people who read celebrity mags to find out what they're up to or what shit things they have to say. Like Bono - he's full of shit too. Like American Foreign Policy. My spelling. This post. The list could go on and on couldn't it. But it does make me wonder about this phenomenon. What's the cause of it? Are human beings just shit? 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  14. I had this great topic to present and discuss and it's gone away fuch it. I hate that. It was really grate and it was discussable and intresting but 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  15. I actually had, in my perception, a fascinating post until I was side tracked from speaking to people who'd drank tp much like myself - but it was one of those rock your entire world posts I think - I'll get back to yer in a month or so 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  16. Doubt I will Wee man 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  17. Listen guys - you all have legitimate points here; but let's not drag it down. Not now. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  18. That's bad news - sorry to hear that prof; haven't you dragged him out to the DZ yet? 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  19. Christ - I get that every time I stumble through the front door from the pub to then tap nonsense into SC. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  20. A teacher asks her class to tell a story that includes a moral. Johnny's hand shoots up, but she avoids him - he's too rude. Jenny has her hand up, so she asks her her story: 'At the weekend I went to my Grans farm, and she asked me to collect some eggs. I put all my eggs in the basket, ran back and tripped - smashing all the eggs. She told me not to put all my eggs in one basket.' 'Excellent!' announces the teacher. 'Anyone else?' knowing fine well little Johnny is literally reaching up to the tropopause. Nobody else has a story. 'Go on then Johnny, lets hear your story...' 'Well! During the 2nd World War my Granda was in the Para's. They dropped him behind enemy lines and he ended up seperated from his platoon and all his equipment. All he landed with was a bayonet and a bottle of whisky. He soon found himself surrounded by a patrol of 20 Germans!' 'Incredible!' said the teacher, 'What happened next!?' 'Well, he drank all the whisky then killed all the Germans with the bayonet!' 'That really is a most incredible tale Johnny!' cries the teacher, 'But what's the moral?' 'Don't fuck with my Granda when he's pissed...' 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  21. What's wrong with your usual spankings??? I shudder at the thought of what comes after the whippings.
  22. It isn't about him being rich and hurting his feelings - it's about the lawyers he can afford. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
  23. I've been thinking; rather than have a select invite, why not arrange a time and place!? Say, a nice little hotel in Bermuda? Iceland? Or even Cocoa Beach? How about 1st Aug 2008, 1900hrs, Royal Palms Hotel, Bermuda? If there's better deals say them. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'