MF42

Ok, I've got one that's better quality. NSFW! NSFW! NSFW! More nekkid Natalie Portman. NSFW! Matt

Are you trying to turn this into a famous booby thread? Ok! NSFW! Natalie Portman's nekkid boobies! NSFW! NSFW! Matt

You are no longer worthy of my stalking. I shall be on the search for a new stalkee. I'm sorry, sunshine, for inexcusably failing in my stalk-worthiness. I suggest you publicly flog me if we ever meet in real life. Matt

Posting always drops off sharply about 10 PM central. After midnight this place is dead, dead. I think all of you should adjust your hours to keep me entertained until my 3 am bedtime. Matt

Already did earlier, thanks. Oh! You meant...right. Matt

If you own a pair of bowling shoes, I think that makes you very suspect. Six pairs!? You are undoubtedly part of the Bowling Alley Code cabal, and I shouldn't even be talking to you, 'cause you could have me whacked just for what I know! Matt

[paranoid stoner voice] It's the shoes man. I'm tellin' ya, they're fuckin' with your shoes back there![/paranoid stoner voice] Matt

I'm confused. I've hardly ever seen an IBTL post on here. They're not noisy at all, really. Matt

Now what do i get? Ummm... more thanks? Matt

That's fantastic! Congrats.

Thanks. Now I get it. Matt

As long as they don't seem violent or smell too incredibly bad, I'll listen to whatever they have to say. In Barnes&Noble the other day, browsing around, and this fairly normal looking woman started asking me what I did for fun. First thought is it's a pickup line, since I am such a jaw-droppingly handsome example of pure manhood, but it's weird because she appears to be older than my mother. So I talk to her for a little bit, and she follows me around the store while I shop. Apparently the slightest polite word from me unlocked the gates to her brain, and she started this non-stop stream of consciousness narrative about her job, her home, the neighbors who she likes but who hate her, the good-for-nothing bum who she's dating every once in a while but she actually despises, all mixed in with comments about various books that I'd pick up and consider. Then she told me there's a secret code built into all bowling alleys. I tried to get her to talk about the bowling alley code, but she refused to say anything else about it, and eventually left to find somebody else to talk to. I think she was disappointed that I wasn't going to put out. So I considered the conversation worthwhile, because buried under all that mundane daily life trivia, there was this utterly fascinating revelation about bowling alleys. A bowling alley conspiracy, people. Just imagine the possibilities. Matt

I would've talked to him. Sometimes crazy people spout off seriously funny stuff. Not usually, but sometimes. Matt

I'd say IBTL, but a recent thread intimated that particular phrase isn't allowed around here, though no reason was given, so I won't. Matt

You have to blend them first. Matt

That's chilling. Gave me goosebumps, man. Matt

Baked or deep fried? Matt

Ooh! Hey! I got a lurker to de-lurk! Makes me kinda proud.

Are you touching your penis right now? It's ok to tell the truth, we're all friends here. If you'd asked me a little earlier or later, then the answer would be yes. But right now I've got the windows open to enjoy the breeze and the sunset, so I have to stay clothed. Matt

Tabasco is gross. Pace picante and Frank's are both acceptable standbys; I always have both in my kitchen. Recently been using lots of El Yucateco Salsa Picante de Chile Habanero. It's a very simple, unpretentious hot sauce that is just the perfect temperature for spicing up general cooking. I like the uncomplicated approach; it's just a basic habanero salsa, nothing more. The best salsa is found in in small mom-and-pop tex-mex restaurants.

This could be a fun game, six degrees of separation from any random object to a penis. Matt

Is that like when amputees can still feel their phantom limb? If a man's penis were lost to an enraged ex-SO or horrible freak catheter accident or something, would he have to go to a spirit medium to kill kittens? Matt

I just clicked on that member directory link up there, and it looks like maybe 40% of the accounts created for DZ.com have never logged in. Never. Not once. Why would someone do that? Matt

Why not both at once? Matt

Or flautist.