skyjumpenfool

The nice thing about those early cutaways... The canopies we were jumping required that you spotted every load precisely. When you had a cutaway, your main landed near the target! Usually, (if your spot was on) your main landed closer to the target than you?? Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

VERICON in Minneapolis if they're still around... Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

... your wife reads this post, and that's when the fight really starts! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Absolutely! Then, one day, she just slaps you on the face! She says she's been screwing your boss, has cleaned out your bank account, trashed your apartment, crashed your new Corvette, and by the way, you now have the clap! God, I love a good analogy! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Jump #13! No shit! But that was back in the 70's. Thank God we didn't have the forums back then. I can just imagine the posts... What the hell is a student with only 13 jumps doing on a Paracomander? Who's brain child was that? We recommend 50 jumps before upgrading to any high performance round canopies, 100 jumps before even thinking about jumping a square! What was the jumpmaster doing flying the plane? Didn't you guys read the SIM? Yup, Yup, this sport never seems to change... (two winks) Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Give me that floaty canopy! I bet I can drag it's ass down... Certainly not because of any mad skills or anything, but I'm always willing to consume large quantities of beer and pizza for a cause! Screw the trim stuff, let's compensate with wing loading! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Am I reading this rule correctly? My reserve, which just went out of date, will go back into date on December 19th, and I can jump it until it reaches 180 days?? From USPA frequently asked questions... Q: Even if my reserve pack job had previously expired? A: Only to a point. Beginning December 19, count back 180 days—if the reserve was packed within those 180 days, it is legal to jump. Which (if I've done the math correctly) means that on December 19th, if my reserve was repacked on or before July 22nd, I am good to go. Does that sound right?? Looks like I might have to make a couple more winter jumps this year... Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Yep! I'm on the Competition Committee of the Minnesota Supermileage Competition. It's an engineering Challenge where High School kids build small cars to compete for the best fuel economy. We get about 100 cars up to Brainerd International Raceway each spring to test their designs. High School kids building cars that get 800-1500 miles per gallon! And we're watching this stuff really close because our students and their parents all sign waivers. If this is the way of the world, we're about to loose many good things... Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

"Hell No!" Just buy the beer, we can pencil in SCR award... Welcome back! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

You don't have to get hurt just to show us your boobies... Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

The dumb asses we are, we have this history of getting into controversial wars (Korea, Vietnam??)based on mis-information and propaganda. When are we going to learn? The upside of this situation is, we have the right to protest and ask these questions. We have the right to question the decisions of our leaders. We have the right to elect a new president who will not follow the same path as the old. We even have the right to applaud feebel attempts of radicals who throw like a sissy girl... Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

The day your making more than your spending! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Had a 17 year old kid who used to fly by my house (40+ in a 25) all the time. Several times we tried talking to him explaining "There's always lots of little kids out playing near the street" and so on... The last time he did it, the basketball I was holding got away from me (acidentally on purpose!!) and impaled itself into his windshield. After measuring the length of the skid marks, police told this looser that it's a good thing a basketball came into the street and not a child. Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

High and to the left with nothing on it! He's a "Sissy Girl"! Hell, even I could've dodged that. Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Good lord, how I love a great story! (or in this case, a tight tale) hee hee Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

It's called "Job Hopping"! You use this job on your resume' to get a better job. Right now is not a good time to be job hopping though... Make sure you have a new position before you move on. Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

The guy was a numb nuts that couldn't hit the east end of a west bound cow! Whoever you are, you throw like a sissy girl! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Remember, as I stated above... When I did this, I was at 13,000ft. Time was not the issue. Even with enough altitude, this is a dangerous situation. Students... Follow your planned Emergency proceedures! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Earlier this summer I had a PC in tow situation. After first trying the "shake, shake, shake your booty", I elected to give the PC bridal a tug to open the container. Knowing this is a serious situation that could eisily turn into a horseshoe, I did so with great caution. I only considered this course of action because I was doing crew and was at 13,000 ft. Altitude is my friend! I made the very serious mistake of telling this story to a student. I was immediately repremanded by an instructor that I have great respect for. He pointed out the fact that we teach students to react to situations in a very planned manner, which does not include this proceedure. So, here is the "Do as I say" for all the students... Follow your emergancy procedures as planned. I want to emphasise what was said earlier... (Low Timers, DO NOT EVEN LET THIS CROSS YOUR MIND) Follow the emergancy proceedures you were taught. From the BSR's... (1) For a pilot-chute-in-tow malfunction, there are currently two common and acceptable procedures, both of which have pros and cons. (2) An instructor should be consulted prior to gearing up, and each skydiver should have a pre-determined course of action. Pilot chute in tow procedure 1: Pull the reserve immediately. A pilot-chute-in-tow malfunctions is associated with a high descent rate and requires immediate action. The chance of a main-reserve entanglement is slim, and valuable time and altitude could be lost by initiating a cutaway prior to deploying the reserve. Be prepared to cutaway. Pilot chute in tow procedure 2: Cut away, then immediately deploy the reserve.Because there is a chance the main parachute could deploy duringor as a result of the reserve activation, a cutaway might be the best response in some situations. Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

30+ years and counting... Each jump is an adventure! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Three blonde nuns in church on a hot day decide to remove their robes because of the heat. Not an unusual habit on a hot day. So about a half hour later, the door bell rings while their robes are slumped over pews clear across the huge chapel. They ask who it is. "The blind man," a voice replies. The three nuns decide to simply open the door because the man is blind. He walks in, looks at the nuns and says, "Nice tits! Where do you want me to install these blinds?" Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth. War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Crowded elevator smell different to midget. Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Thanks for the pic. See, they aren't trashing you... Questions... What is the camera(make, model) and where did you get it? How much $$? Can you guys imagine what a quality camera is going to look like in 5 years??? These things are getting tiny. How long before a manufacturer comes out with a helmet cam setup that is clean, simple, idiot proof, cheap, etc. So, the newbs can put one on without having to accumulate 1000 jumps?? I'm just saying...?? Look what Tuna-Salad has learned from having one on. It could be a great training tool for 1st jump students?? Hey, this is innovative stuff. Is someone taking notes?? Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

I grew up in little Wisconsin town of 3,000 people that had 16 bars. So, I consider myself an expert on this subject... My favorite beer = FREE BEER Second favorite = Cheap Beer Salute' Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."

Talk about extream sports! This pilot will have a tale to tell. (if this crash doesn't wash him/her out??) Quite a rush! Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky."