Bolas

Has that ever worked? I hate the holidays too. All it takes is one Christmas season working in the mall and you're jaded for life. I did enjoy the Christmases I spent with my nephews because they were so excited. I have to work over the holidays which keeps me from going to Eloy too. I think my parents are coming down so the 1 bedroom, 1 office, 1 bath apartment could get interesting. Also this will be my first Christmas without my dog. My dad used to buy her a new toy every year to distract he from the other presents.

Good jumping with you. Next time I'll hopefully get to jump both days. I'll leave the birdman suit off though.

We love you too, I'm stuck here at work and things aren't going great. This made me smile. I just got enough frequent flier miles for a trip, may hit the west coast next year, we'll have to flock together. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Hell Yeah!!! I'd love to know. It would make financial planning so much easier. Right now I'm putting so much into 401k's and Roth IRA's that it is keeping me from getting a new rig. Well, that and all the jumps and boogies I have gone to this year.

WARNING CHEESY LINE AHEAD... If I could be with you, I'd be happy watching people rebuild your house...

You can already buy dolphin meat. I had dolphin in Key West this past Sunday. I sure hope it was "tuna safe". Seriously, is the only way you can catch dolphins, porpoises, etc is if you "accidently" catch them. That sounds like a big loophole right there. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

A for effort, but didn't this come out before you were born? If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given -- to me -- tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids -- definitely. The second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come, too -- and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we go with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies. They should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody. -- Steve Martin I want to go to Eloy for Christmas, but I have to work. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

I have a bumper sticker like that. I got it back when Lyle Preese was doing RW caoching with I think it was Skydive U. I'll look at it tomorrow, It's in my office. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

"Let you"

Forget the room... GET A LITTER BOX!!! I'll be there this weekend probably late Friday night. Don't ya'll crash early. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Scene: Sunshine is in her producers office, when the PR and marketing guys walk in: PR Guy 1: Sunny baby we loved your first script. PR Guy 2: We know your next one is gonna be great, PR Guy 1: without even reading it... ha ha ha ha PR Guy 2: We just have a few extremely minor PR Guy 1: Won't make a difference PR Guy 2: tiny insignificant changes. PR Guy 1: The gay stuff? PR Guy 2: Gotta go, PR Guy 1: works on the coast PR Guy 2: but middle america still isn't ready for it. PR Guy 1: The sheep thing will be fine though. PR Guy 1: If you use some product placement we can offset the cost with advertising. PR Guy 2: We have the following sponsors for you to incorporate: PR Guy 1: Jello, PR Guy 2: Home Depot, PR Guy 1: Toyota, PR Guy 2: and Greyhound. PR Guy 1: We even are inking a deal with Jack in the Box PR Guy 2: for a kids meal tie in. PR Guy 1: You're using skydivers as your actors? PR Guy 2: Get them in their natural evironment: PR Guy 1: A 5 minute sex scene in freefall. PR Guy 2: Ending with pulling their ripcords PR Guy 1 and 2: and landing their rounds. Brilliant! PR Guy 1: There's this new guy we want you to use too. PR Guy 2: Goes by Bolas. PR Guy 1: Now he's a little green... PR Guy 2: But he is my son, PR Guy 1: so I know he'll be perfect for a starring role. ha ha ha ha PR Guy 1: These are just suggestions. PR Guy 1 and 2: You're the artist. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Kill all 11 people, sell their organs on E-bay. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

This one's kinda easy: A husband stabs his wife's lover multiple times at a ski lodge cabin. The police have motive and opportunity but can't find the murder weapon. The body is slightly damp. Where was he killed and with what? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

A quarter and a dime. But the other one is... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Because he gave him all his money? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Read the sentence below: Now count aloud the Fs above. COUNT THEM ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again. If you think you are right look below... There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught all six, you are a genius. There is positively no catch. I got 3. I found this in my cube when cleaning up from the last guy that was here. It's from Jefferson-Pilot Life Training Department, whatever that is. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

We have the repost, grammar, and spelling police, do we need the math police? Not the riddle but: 102-9=93 edited to add: Okay I know it's a joke. Was wildblue's answer correct? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

I'd take all of them. Put the friend that saved your life in the passenger seat, the old lady on their lap and the perfect partner on your lap (or let them drive and sit on their lap). The one thing I actually did learn in college is you can fit a helluva lot of people in a small space. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

AKA Tomorrow. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Really sucks you never got your camera back, maybe this will make you feel better: The ass monkey that has your camera is looking through the pics of all the hot chicks in his parents basement and starts to kill a kitten. He flicks further to your lap dance shot and thinking there has to be one more and the kitten is just about dead... BAM!!! He sees the pic of me... He's so shocked that the kitten dies and then he's scarred for life, thinking he's gay because he climaxed looking at a guy... Feel better? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

From Mr. Mom: Ron Richardson: Yeah? Are you gonna make it all 220? Jack Butler: Yeah. 220... 221, whatever it takes. From Fletch: Willy: What the hell you need ball bearings for? Fletch: Awww, come on guys, it's so simple maybe you need a refresher course. [leans arm on hot engine part] Fletch: Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads, and I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State. What we don't understand, we must ridicule... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Hard to laugh with your tongue on the floor...

Nudity is fun!!! I was trying to turn an after hours pool party in a skinny-dip at the Keys Boogie. Lead by example... Plus if the water is warn and it's at night, sizes can be distorted...

Wow, that sounds awesome. Who did that to you? I do it for other people.

This coming week. Last week was the Key's Boogie. Captain America is having some problems, if I don't get it fixed by this weekend, I might be renting a car for the business trip and then have to leave Saturday. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.