CrazyThomas

Well, some innocents have gotten killed, and more will continue to. And our soldiers continue to pay the ultimate price, but.... there are reasons Saddam needed to be captured and removed from power. We can argue the Iraq thing all day, but I don't want to. I just wanted to point out to Kallend that Bush accomplished something he said he would. Bush said Saddam is a threat (false or real, doesn't matter) and took action to counter the threat. The above article shows that Saddam has used chemical weapons already, so why be so gullible to think he wouldn't again. Thomas

What do Bill Clinton and Kermit the frog have in common? They both have sex with pigs. Thomas

Bush's 2003 job creation prediction came AFTER 9/11 and the .com crash, and it was still hopelessly wrong. January 2003 was AFTER 9/11/2001. Jobs prediction - WRONG Deficit prediction - WRONG WMDs in Iraq - WRONG "We'll get bin Laden" - WRONG Great record your guy has. OK, even with all the "Reasons" (Anti-Bushes read =lies) for going to Iraq, and telling Saddam to step down, what happened? Oh wait, that's right. Saddam is now caged up like he should be, and we may actually have a chance to free a country from a dictator. Is it our responsibility? I don't think so, but Bush said he would take Saddam out of power, and it pretty much seems like he did. All the Iraq contracts are going to Haliburton? Good, at least it is an AMERICAN company. Maybe we should have just let those contracts go to the cheese eating surrender monkeys. I am glad Bush took us to Iraq. It beats waiting for Iraq to come to us. Sure, maybe we should have taken a little more agression out on Afghanistan, but Saddam needed removal, and it got done. Thomas

What is the favorite limerick you've read while dropping the Browns off at the super bowl? I'll start with my favorite one so far. "There is an eye that sees everything you do. And it hates you." I know there must be a ton out there, and I searched for the subject line (re-post checking), and only found one other so far. "Seen on a bathroom stall in Oklahoma: Here I sit, My cheeks a-flexin', Giving birth to another Texan! " --from a poster on here, who was replying to something about living in Texas. Let's hear what else has been seen around the stalls. Thomas

[Homer] Lesbian sex.......mmmmmmm.[/Homer] Thomas

I gotta call bullshit on this one. A letter recommending more regulations? In 99% of the cases, this happens to a jumper who does not have the education and experience to fly his canopy safely. In the majority of cases, a larger canopy would have prevented the fatality or mitigated the injury. We, the undersigned, call on USPA to increase their role in canopy training POWER to help prevent these sorts of fatalities in the future skydivers from making their own decisions. It is our position that only education can prevent accidents like these. Modern, heavily loaded high performance canopies can be flown safely only after sufficient education and/or experience has been obtained by the jumper. We ask USPA to do the following: -Develop canopy skills requirements for the “B”, “C”, and “D” licenses that build upon the initial "A" license canopy skills. They should include canopy control classroom training, practical exercises, and a written and practical test. Once these are in place, add canopy type/wing load restrictions based on the “A” through “D” license, the cute part If you want more rules, everyone plays by them, or noone plays by them. As always, restricted licenses would be available for jumpers who choose to not participate. -To prevent exceptional jumpers from being held back unneccesarily, allow any instructor, I/E or S+TA to waiver these requirements based on a demonstration of canopy skills. -Develop a Canopy Instructor (CI) rating which focuses on skills required to safely land heavily loaded high performance canopies. Currently, many jumpers receive no practical HP canopy training at all; it is possible to progress through the ISP jumping only a 288 square foot canopy. With the rapid development of very high performance canopies, canopy skills are as critical for skydiver survival (if not more critical) than freefall skills. The intent of the CI would be to teach the canopy skills required for the new licenses, and to waiver those who demonstrate the skill required to progress to small canopies more quickly than their jump numbers would ordinarily allow. We recognize that any additional restrictions placed on skydivers should be considered very carefully; skydiving has never been a sport of heavy regulation, and regulations alone will not keep anyone safe. However, this is happening already; individual DZ's are implementing canopy loading restrictions with no education, no commonality and no way to "waiver out" of the requirements. We feel that USPA could implement a canopy training program that will educate more jumpers, be less restrictive and keep even pilots of very high performance canopies alive and jumping. People are really getting this soft? People actually WANT more rules? this reminds me of the "Pussification of the Western Male" . Whatever. You can all fight about it when more rules start to bother you, or when they don't work quite as well as you intended them to. later, Thomas

I was going to write something longer, and more idiotic, but I will keep it short and idiotic. my mis-informed, misguided opinion? Currency leads to complacency. look at accidents vs. jump numbers, and maybe some interesting stats will arise. later, Thomas

Why doesn't Jesus eat M&M's? They keep falling through the holes in his hands. What did Jesus say to Mary Magdalene up on the cross? Can you get my flats? These spikes are killing me. What's white, and streaks across the sky? The coming of the Lord. Thomas

How many gay guys does it tqake to change a light bulb? 4. 1 to change it, and 3 to stand around and say "OOOOOHHHHHH, That's FAAAABULOUS!" What have you done wrong if your wife is in the living room yelling at you? You made the leash to the stove to long. A Polish guy and a black guy run a race down a tunnel. Who finishes first? The Polish guy. The black guy has to stop and write "Motherfucker" on the wall. later, Thomas

What do you call a dog with no legs? NOTHING! It won't come anyways. Why don't black mothers let their children play in the sandbox? Because the cats keep trying to bury them. What's the difference between Mexicans and Cubans? Long distance swimming. Thomas Thomas

WOW. Thanks Hookitt. I guess that dispells my idea about light affecting black olives. Thomas

What is a Haiku? Five, seven, five I think, Real fucking easy

I would think CrazyIvan factors into the unique thread line somewhere. Like, if you started a thread, only to get put into repost jail, it is not a unique thread. Thomas

Why are black olives found in metal containers, and green olives found in glass containers? I have not seen green olives come in a metal can, or vice versa with black olives. So I was wondering, why is that? I was thinking it could be either the green olives are acidic, and would damage or corrode a metal container if placed in them, and the black olives are non-acidic, so they are placed in a cheaper container. But then again, why wouldn't fancy black olives (cost is not a factor) come in glass jars. I was thinking this has something to do with light affecting the olives flavor. Brown bottled beer comes to mind here. Like, certain beers are always in brown bottles to avoid excess light exposure. Anyone know the reason why green olives come in glass, and black olives come in metal? or links or sources I could look this up at? Google and Jeeves pretty much tell me green are unripe olives, and black are ripe olives, with no referencing to specific purpose of packaging techniques? Thanks, Thomas

General Electric Thomas

What is E.T. short for? Because he has little legs. How can you tell when Barbie has her period? Your tic tacs are missing. What's the similarity between women and spaghetti? They both squirm around when you eat them. How long does it take a woman to clean the toilet? Who cares, as long as dinner is on the table by 6. What does K-mart stand for? "Kuz Mexicans Are Rich Too" Have you heard about the new Barbie doll? It's called Divorce Barbie. It comes with all Ken's stuff. How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl! Thomas

more like MKS units are appropriate. unless it is strictly for USA skydivers, meters/second may be a good unit. I think that is what most physics applications use for calculations, although I think conversions can be done. It just depends on what you are trying to get at with your numbers. Thomas p.s. this is prolly all wrong too, you know, someone needs to step in and what was it......"caveat my remarks" ? prolly got that wrong too

That would be Scuzz-O-Butt. The one who lives up on the mountain and weaves wicker baskets. The ending last night was hilarious! "I am the prime minister of Canada. Ignore the guy behind the curtains. He is just my friend. OK, I give up. I want to negotiate." Thomas

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself! another Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday Mass when he suddenly felt nauseous. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?" "I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK." Thomas

One day an old man was going on the toll road and he had sum viagra in his pocket. He had to pay the toll and when he grabbed for his money he accidently grabbed his viagra and through it in the pay toll slot and the thing went up and never went down! They tried everything to get it down but nothing would work Thomas

Why ask why? Drink Bud Dry. Thomas

"It's puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again." The best was when Cartman was playing Lambs with his dolls. That would be hella-funny to see on SNL though. Thomas

more little johnny jokes: One day little Johnny goes camping with his grandpa. While they are fishing his grandpa starts drinking beer. Little Johnny ask whats that? Grandpa replies “beer” Johnny - can i have some? Grandpa - does your dick touch your ass hole ? Johnny – no Grandpa - then theres your answer Later that day they are hunting and grandpa starts drinking whiskey Johnny - whats that? Grandpa – whiskey Johnny - can i have some? Grandpa - does your dick touch your ass hole? Johnny – no Grandpa - then theres your answer Later that night Johnny has cookies his mom gave him Grandpa - whats that? Johnny – cookies Grandpa - can i have some? Johnny - does your dick touch your ass hole? Grandpa – yes Johnny - then go fuck yourself because mommy gave these to me and then..... One day little Johny came home from school. He walked in and heard all this comotion from his aprents room...So he walks upstairs and opens the door. There are mom and dad poundin away, johnny says, "Daddy, what are you doing?", Dad says " I'am playing poker, and moms my wild card," Johnny says "ok". SO, he walks down the hallway a little further and comes by his brothers room. He opens the door and there are brother and girlfriend going at it, poundin away. Johnny says "Brother..what are you doing?," Brother says "Ah...Im like dad im playing Poker, and shes my wild card," Johnny says "OK" and walks out again, and goes to his room. Later on, When mom and dad were gone, Dad went walking past Johnny's room, and there is all this poundin going on...So Dad walks in and see's Johnny sitting there wackin off...Dad says "JOHNNY WHAT THE HELL ARE YA DOIN?" Johnny says, "I'm playing Poker like you and brother, but with a hand like this, you dont need a wild card!" Thomas

Little Johnny jokes are always funny. Had to bump this up again. The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call on little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But, eventually, his turn came.... Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well, the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well, I can see that," she said, "but what's so exciting about a period?" "Damned if I know", said Johnny, "but, this morning, my sister said she missed one. Then Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the man next door shot himself!" Thomas

and then there is this: The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn in her wheel chair where the activity's for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't talk very well but she could write notes fairly well when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn Grandma started leaning off to the right and some family members grabbed her and straightened her up and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later she started leaning off to her left and again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward and the family members again grabbed her and tied a pillow case around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma, you're looking good, how are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart." Thomas