DYEVOUT

No worries here, Mr. Aiello. I am a very, very long way from jumping anything but an aircraft. I just find BASE, and the specialized gear very interesting. There is a BASE video on the Skydivingmovies site called "The fastest motherfucker in the valley", in which a guy bails off a cliff in a wingsuit and takes what appears to be a damn near 30 sec. delay. It looks like he covers almost a mile of beautiful country before opening !! How high is that guys launch point? (without naming the site, of course) What kind of groundspeed can you guys generate with those trick suits ? That video is exquisite !! I've split this discussion off the McConkey thread, as it appears to be moving in an unrelated direction. - Tom Aiello ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

What is a McConkey ? I've seen the term used a lot in this forum, and am unable to find a definition. Tom posted some pics of one - which I can't open. There are some clips on Skydivingmovies - which I can't open. WTF ?!! ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Guy with no arms or legs that can ring your doorbell -- Dick Guy with no arms or legs that is nailed to a wall -- Art Guy with no arms or legs in a pool -- Bob Guy with no arms or legs in a ditch -- Phil ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2002 > >Crack Found on Governor's Daughter > >Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says > >Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers > >Iraqi Head Seeks Arms > >Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? > >Prostitutes Appeal to Pope > >Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over > >Teacher Strikes Idle Kids > >Miners Refuse to Work after Death > >Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant > >War Dims Hope for Peace > >If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile > >Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures > >Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide > >Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges > >Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead > >Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge > >New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group > >Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft > >Kids Make Nutritious Snacks > >Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy > >Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half > >Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

I'm bettin' that clown isn't even in the same area code at boarding time. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

The American Society of Herpetologists has issued an alert for the Gulf Coast area of the state of Florida. Scientists have discovered a dangerous new type of gecko-like lizard prowling the beach areas and Inter coastal keys. Below is an authenticated photograph which catches this dangerous reptile seeking a dark warm area in which to den during the daylight hours! They actively prowl both day and night ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Here's a wad of 'em -- 1. Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess stops them and says, "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger." 2. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world. 3. 2 boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich star. The other stayed and never amounted to much and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils. 4. 2 Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 5. A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon, slides up to the bar and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." 6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist, and refused to take Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication. 7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour, and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. 8. A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused. The florist went to them and begged that they shut down. Again they refused. So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their flowers, trashed their shop, and said that if they didn't close, he'd be back. Well, totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath. This made him ....what? (This is so bad it's good...)--a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

There has been some pretty bad ones on here, but that Pastor Flapps one almost made me have an accident ! ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

"That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!" ------------------------------------------- Ohh My God, THAT is bahhhhhd. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Scientists have spliced the genetic material of a donkey, with that of an onion. The result is a piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

The leper poker game: ----------------------------- Everyone threw their hand in. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

This guy with an advanced case of leprosy is sitting at a ballgame when the guy next to him leans over and pukes on the ground. The leper apologizes to the guy for his oozing sores making the guy sick, but the man assures the leper that this is not the case. A couple innings go by and the guy barfs again. Once more the leper apologizes to the guy and offers to find another seat, and once more the man tells him "it's not your fault". A couple more innings go by and the leper looks over to find the guy dry-heaving like hell. The leper tells the guy he appreciates the man's not wanting to hurt his feelings, but it is obviously the leper's deplorable and revolting condition that is making the man ill, so the leper begins to gather his things to find another seat. The guy again assures the leper that his condition isn't the cause of the violent horking and wretching. The leper finally asks the man "if it's not me, what is making you so sick?". The man responds "honest to god - it's not you, it's the guy behind you - dipping his nachos in your BACK. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

"(suck suck)" -------------------------------------- HHMMMMMMMM. . . . . . . . . ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

I'd be curious to know if there are height restrictions, or if you need some kind of license. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Not natural, but a flexible critter nonetheless =8^] ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

We hired this new computer gal at work. Now my machine's always busted, and I can't get anything done. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Top Ten Rejected Valentines Day Cards 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister! ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Yeah, I'm a rookie - my first was this June - but it was very cool. 2 cool Jumpmasters, 1 loud C185, 1 Manta 288 in a ripcord student Vector & 1 standup landing (the wind was just right). ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

AMT Hardballer (very close to 1911). Full of 230gr. Cor-Bon JHP's. Cocked and locked. (not law enforcement) ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

I hope this doesn't mean us Yankees are gonna have to pay a buck apiece for oranges. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

How come that Texan only got 9 shots out of that Glock - must not have had a full clip. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Yeah it's my favorite flick. We're not super busy, but I have nutty friends who send me funnies, so I just pass 'em on. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

>What's the best form of birth control after 50? >Nudity >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? >45 lbs. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? >45 minutes. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the fastest way to a man's heart? >Through his chest with a sharp knife. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Why do men want to marry virgins? >They can't stand criticism. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking? >Because those men already have boyfriends. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? >After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? >The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What do you call a smart blonde? >A golden retriever. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Why does the bride always wear white? >Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and >refrigerator. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? >The blonde, because she's 18 >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? >Ask your mom. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >How do you know when you're really ugly? >Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life? >When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends." >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >If Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, what do single guys have? >Palm Sunday. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? >Her navel. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? >Bingo machine. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? >A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Why did God create alcohol? >So ugly people could have sex, too. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? >"Are you sure it's mine?" >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? >Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? >Mace will do that to you. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby? >They named him Sum Ting Wong. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? >A speech impediment. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? >Breasts don't have eyes. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? >A pimp. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? >A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the Cuban National Anthem? >Row, row, row your boat. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? >A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

Hey JT, Are you related to the local "pack" of Valentes that own a couple of bitchin' Italian restaurants in Eastern PA? If so, get me some @#$%!! coupons. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."

That's when you let the feds use your hard earned money - interest free - for a year, and then they give it back to you. I try to owe them $1.00 every year. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court."