narcimund

John Kerry has been reported taking up to 17 items through the express lane. George Bush was seen taking 21 items through once! This shows their true character. First Class Citizen Twice Over

George Bush didn't buy his wife an anniversary present this year. He just plain forgot! He's sleeping on the couch, you betcha. First Class Citizen Twice Over

John Kerry, the scum, put frogs in a girl's lunch once. He deserves a good spanking! First Class Citizen Twice Over

Bill Clinton sneaks in the exit door of movie theaters. First Class Citizen Twice Over

George Bush promised his clerk he'd get Christmas off, damnit! He promised then he made the clerk work on Christmas anyway. That's just not fair. First Class Citizen Twice Over

John Kerry's lawn is messy and the neighbors are passing around a petition demanding he mow the grass! First Class Citizen Twice Over

John Kerry only tips 8% even if the waitress works REALLY hard. First Class Citizen Twice Over

George Bush leaves the toilet seat up even though his wife has told him and told him and told him... First Class Citizen Twice Over

Could you explain this more for me? When WHO is dead? First Class Citizen Twice Over

Hey, Jazzjumper. You sound like you're knowlegable and might have an answer to my question. What does it mean to "win the war on terror"? We hear negative descriptions ("There won't be a final surrender." "There won't be a peace table negotiation.") but never a positive description of the protection they're trying to create. I'm sure this has been made clear by the politicians, but I don't have a TV so I miss a lot of the popular messages everyone else hears. This is one I'm really curious about. First Class Citizen Twice Over

I really thought someone would have an answer. Between the pro-Bush and pro-Kerry people (all of whom are screaming that their candidate is the most qualified to "win the war on terror") there should be SOMEBODY who can even begin to articulate what they're talking about. This is worse than I thought. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Oh come on. SOMEBODY must know the partyline answer to this one. First Class Citizen Twice Over

George Bush says the War on Terror can be won. Then he says it can't. Then his spokesman argues that he misspoke. Then John Kerry confidently proclaims it can be. What are all these people talking about? I haven't yet heard what it means to win it. Until someone explains what a 'win' is, what sense is there in saying yes or no? How does one win? Does winning mean a time when the government can consistently prevent political violence against civilians? How on earth can this be achieved? First Class Citizen Twice Over

I was walking in the park wearing sandals and accidently kicked a metal post. Gosh, that really hurt! Partisan response #1: Stop blaming the poor! Don't you know 57% of all urban parkgoers earn less than the average American wage? The parks are the refuge of the workers. JohnJohn Kerry supports the lower and middle classes' rights to safe, soft plastic park equipment which is a basic human right. Partisan response #2: Parks are full of perverts and homos and you were only wearing sandals to make a bullshit point about "global warming" anyway. Global warming my ass! You can't prove that George W. Cheney is affiliated with the steel companies so get off your lying grandstand cause everyone knows liberals cause stubbed toes. That park was built in 1977 during that idiot Carter's administration. On 9/11 the whole world joined with Americans and we must all sacrifice for the war effort.... I suppose you want a purple heart now, poor baby! Government response: Show me some identification! We'll file a report after reviewing the satellite surveillance tapes. In the meantime, do not attempt to enter this or any park within the US borders. Don't talk to the press. Don't leave the area. You will be contacted by an agent for an interview when our investigation is complete. Journalist response: "In other wartime news, a dark-skinned American citizen in a city park was discovered holding his foot in a threatening manner. He is being held in an undisclosed location pending review of the security report. The detainee was overheard denying his involvment in terrorism before a court-ordered gag rule was imposed. A witness who refused to give his name said, 'He seemed like a normal guy. You just never know. You were like on your way home from the store or something when he kicked the swing set. A minute later the helicopters swooped down and took him away. It just goes to show you.' It was also revealed that the detainee's home computer contained both photographs and text files. No shots were fired during the arrest, but seven bystanders were hospitalized for observation after a substance was discovered nearby. FBI analysis revealed the substance was common dirt, but the area remains sealed off while construction crews pave over all of the exposed dirt in the park as a preventative measure. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Whew! Thank god they got on that right away. First Class Citizen Twice Over

I think this attitude is a large part of why base jumpers keep to themselves. First Class Citizen Twice Over

and And what an even more perfect demonstration of my wager that even complimentary self-descriptions would turn out to be nothing more substantial than backhanded attacks on the opposition. It's even more painfully clear than before (as if it needed to be.) Both sides are the same side and the rest of us are the only ones who are losing. Children who can't behave! They're swarming. Take cover. First Class Citizen Twice Over

I've been attacked with this argument before. It's usually tinged with nasty words (like "tainted"). The logic goes like this: Gay marriage is bad because gay people can't have stable relationships without social approval. That proves gay relationships are unnatural and weakly bound. Straight marriage is good because straight people can't have stable relationships without social approval. That proves straight relationships are community-based, moral, and based on the traditional ways which are best. First Class Citizen Twice Over

The partisan Republicans have been loud in criticizing the Democrats. Can the Republicans stop denouncing their opponents long enough to just say something nice about their own candidates? I have a bet that this thread will inevitably deteriorate into Democrat-bashing. First Class Citizen Twice Over

The partisan Democrats have been loud in criticizing the Republicans. Can the Democrats stop denouncing their opponents long enough to just say something nice about their own candidates? I have a bet that this thread will inevitably deteriorate into Republican-bashing. First Class Citizen Twice Over

We get a prize for every 5 heterosexual marriages we break up. I've already won the 10-function toaster. I'm going for the Combo-DVD-TV now! First Class Citizen Twice Over

If a gay marriage fails, it's because they're gay. If a gay marriage seems to succeed, it's only because it hasn't failed yet. If a straight marriage succeeds, it's because they're straight. If a straight marriage fails, we all know it's because of the fags. First Class Citizen Twice Over

tbrown has it partly right. An Oregon trial judge ruled on the initial matter of the 3000 Multnomah County marriages. His ruling was long and complicated and covered several points. The summary is that the 3000 Oregon marriages (including my own) are valid and that the state is obligated to continue performing them. He ordered the state to immediately finish registering the marriages and stop treating them as unequal. However, he issued a stay on the second ruling (that the marriages should continue) to give the state legislature time to meet in special session and reorganize laws to fit the constitutional requirements he found. Meanwhile the state appellate court has passed on the matter and the state Supreme Court has accepted a fast-track appeal. Meanwhile the citizen initiative to amend the state constitution against gay marriage has qualified for the ballot (with over twice the minimum required petition signatures) and polls are mixed. And nothing is clear. The state registered our marriage but some official in the records division is being widely quoted as saying "It still doesn't make them marriages." And if the Supreme Court or the election goes against the marriages, it's not clear if (A) that affects the 3000 fait accompli or not and (B) if it will stand up to federal constitutional review. Meanwhile I look at the whole thing and wince and keep going on with my day. My relationship is not dependent on government or social recognition (and neither should anyone's be) but I still think the whole thing is silly. Edited to correct a detail. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Damn! That's amazing. It took fewer than ten replies before you guys started bickering about which predator's teeth you prefer ripping your flesh. I rest my case. First Class Citizen Twice Over

Some people don't think so. That's why I haven't posted much. First Class Citizen Twice Over