Tuna-Salad

I'm thinking this would make a nice jump ship. Or maybe an Airbus A380. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Always glad to post something that makes people laugh. I think the best line in the whole thing is "Well if I've been fucking with defective condoms and contracted HIV, I don't think a free box of rubbers is exactly going to make my day now is it?". Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8AHX2I858o Another one of my posts but most will get a laugh I hope. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DpCapbzKa8 Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

My only tailgate was a Caribou brought to z-hills. I do have to agree, sitting sideways on the way to altitude sucked, Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Meh, different people singing the same songs and everyone thinks their version is the best. Only 5 hours , 6 minutes left. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

put some water in the fuel as a way of saying "hello" Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Because now all the christmas music I have endured for the last 2 months will finally be over. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Most of my jumps are out of a twotter. 3 off a tailgate. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Good stuff. Never gotten to climb out of a 182. Nice to see you are getting better with exits. Took about 35 or so before mine were decent. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Good stuff.

Some of these are pretty creepy to read. Glad everyone made it back safely though. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

I will try to answer... although take what I have to say with a grain of salt. If done the right way you (SHOULD) not need to run out a landing, but it will happen at times. Landings can be as soft as stepping off a curb, or as hard as jumping off a 6 foot wall. Wind conditions and how/when YOU flare the canopy determine how hard or easy you will come down. To most new jumpers, the ground comes at you pretty fast. There really is not a definate way to answer the question because there are so many variables to consider. My best advice would be to visit a drop zone and watch how some of the people land. Swooping is completely different than how you as a new jumper would land, so only pay attention to those who make straight in approaches and flare just before touchdown. We also have techniques to avoid injury during hard landings (If done properly). Hope this helped a little. I anticipate some of the higher number jumpers correcting me on some info at some point, so this can be a learning experience for both of us. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

12 Correct 3 incorrect Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

I assume they were cheerleaders seeing as how they came in a group and were doing their little cheers over the bridge and down the path.. and were 21 yrs of age or older which would put them in college.. I could be wrong but they were still hot... Tuna Salad comes from.. well nothing.. it's stupid and pointless.. much like most of my posts. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

I think they were college cheerleaders. You cannot .. not notice that. Esp in tight under armor / spandex. I think her dad caught me looking more than once. Ah yes he got to meet me.. because I am such a legend that he should of paid admission just to bask in the glory of my presence. He did ask the burning question that I'm sure is on everyones mind.. Why Tuna Salad for a name? Thanks for the congrats on 100. I will admittedly say that it is VERY hard to watch what someone else is doing with their body while keeping awareness for yourself. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Ever lost an engine or had to go back and land because of a mechanical problem? Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Simply put, the AAD is there to back up your emergency procedures. Don't rely on it. Just my 2 cents worth. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Oh and something else... "so I had to stay off my work telling everyone lies about the way I got injured (falling off stairs is the most convenient)" Unless you think you are going to be canned for skydiving.. Don't lie about it. You should be proud you took a risk so many others are not willing to take. Don't advertise it, but be proud of your accomplishment. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Don't stress so much about it. People with thousands of jumps still have hard landings at times. I will give no advice on what to do or what not to do as I am not an instructor. Just brush off the dust and do it again. If I have learned anything from skydiving that is.. don't over think your objectives.

I have to add here... I worked for the city of Charlotte Fire Department for 7 years. Not once did I see an alcohol related traffic accident. That goes without saying that I HAVE seen people do other stupid things because of drinking. (*Cough* the guys who got into a fight and one shot the other in the thigh. They tried to tell us the gun was under the couch and he shot himself trying to pull it out to show his "friend".) As foamy the squirrel put it. "The worst case scenario is that they make it home and are able to do it again at a later date". Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

So I drove to Sebastian this weekend to meet dse and get some education on camera flying. Was well worth the trip and the view was great (Hot tandems) . The view from the air was spectacular. Very down to earth guy who really knows his shit. Now I know where to improve. Anyway good times and I had a lot of fun this weekend. So thanks "Spot" for taking the time to show me the ropes, and for the opportunity to go to a great DZ that I might not have gone to until much later (Cuz I wanna do a beach jump) bwhaha. Oh I also finally made my 100th jump. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

You are on the path to success then. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

In Florida failure to consent to a breath test or "blowing in the tube" is cause for jail time and having your license revoked. On the bottom of the license in fine print "Operation of a motor vehicle constitutes consent to any sobriety test required by law" On that note.. be honest. Police always hear "2 beers" It's always 2. Be honest.. Officer I had 3, 12 ounce coronas. Atleast by remembering how much you had, what you drank and how much was in the bottle actually shows that you are able to think clearly. Nothing pisses a cop off more than to be lied to. Nobody likes being lied to, it is like you are playing them for a fool and expecting them to be dumb enough to believe you. It is insulting. Unless the guy is a total dick, they will appreciate your candid honesty. Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

Skydive Greenville - SC. In 1998. Otherwise Z-Hills January 27 2008 Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.