lilDevil

I sat in my car listening to Nickleback, that worked for me

uh huh has put me off going bush and the guy that played the killer ( dont even want to remember his name ) was just on TV for stalking his tennants and using some of the lines from that movie, looks like it rubbed off a bit too much ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

I must have missed it too lmao ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Well if i had a towbar I could do it myself, well with help haha then you could buy me pizza lol ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Now thats taken a few years off all ya have to do now is trim that stuff on your chin lol ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

The point is, with better sex threads, it might be coming more often. ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Just the normal stuff you put in a house ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Aww poor fella why not ? I need a packer, a gardener, a cleaner a removalist and a good ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Now now your trying to be good remember lmao ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

I dunno have to sort myself out first ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

No im not and clean your own

A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor." "Don't do that," volunteered his friend, "there's a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment." The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited $10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks. That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited $10. The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message: Your tap water has lead. Get a filter. Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins. Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab. Your wife is pregnant. It's not your baby. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better. ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

your just mad because she thought you looked more like werewolf than a bad david hasselhoff Oh your just bad ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

I wish people would stop talking about my penis on dz.com anyways, yes you are right. andy doesnt fit pikey yet he owns no vehicle Oh come on how else ya going to get your ego boosted lmao ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

what funds that is why he is called pikey he travels from state to state there's a voice that keeps on calling me the littlest hobo Dont Pikeys drive beat up old vans that run on parafin lol oh and from what ive been told you aint so little haha ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Awesome suggestion, but I think it's more appropriate for Australia. That'll teach him, he knows he cant multitask, playing poker and trying to read at the same time ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Either way, he apparently doesn't have any fear issues. . . . There is a word to describe it..."STUPID"! I love the dog dearly but he is a whole order of fries short of a happy meal He is a chicken shit Awwww but he loves you

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? ------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) only in america 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' . 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

What is the difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, & 78? At 8 You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 She tells you a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 If you take her to bed, that'll be a story! At 78 What story? What bed? Who the HELL are you? ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Nice pic ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

wrist in a splint waiting to see a surgeon :-( oh and no work no play money :-( ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Cry Freedom Yes

why do you call yourself black ? Well why do you people call yourselves white ? your more pink than white. ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Thanks will do :-) I hate packing :-( ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !