Slappie

Since when did you work? I thought all you did was sit here and post like a madman!? My New Website with 24hr Chat

I've flown into the Hong Kong airport before. It was late evening 10:30ish and you would not believe the feelings it can cause you! Now they have a new one and it's not as bad. I haven't flown in there in years, but I think the new airport is out in the ocean on a man-made island. My New Website with 24hr Chat

YEA Wait who likes me? If you know of anyone who likes me please have them contact me :) My New Website with 24hr Chat

I may take you up on that one! Tami.... My New Website with 24hr Chat

HEY NOW! I am a prize!! I'm a good cook, great in the sac and skydive! Plus I'm cute! hehehe

How about the joke about the student who made his first solo and pulled his main "nothing" then pulls his reserve "nothing" Then mutters to himself " I bet they Lied about the Damn truck picking me up too!!" My New Website with 24hr Chat

DOG FIGHT George Bush and Osama bin Laden decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one big dog fight. They agreed that they would have five years to breed the best fighting dogs in the world and whosever dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama and his dog handler Mohammed found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world, then bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves they could find. From the litters, they selected the biggest and strongest puppy and trained it day and night to fight to the death. After five years Osama and Mohammed came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. It's cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, George and his dog handler Boudreaux, showed up with a nine foot long Dachshund. It was the strangest looking dog anyone had ever seen. Boudreaux said it was a Cajun Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for George and Boudreaux because they knew there was no way that this poor excuse for a dog could possibly last 10 seconds with Osama's big, mean animal. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund slowly came out of it's cage, wagged it's tail, then waddled over towards Osama's dog. The Doberman/Rottweiler/Wolf snarled and leaped out of it's cage, then charged the poor Dachshund. But when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and ate Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the snarling beast. Osama came up to George and Boudreaux shaking his head in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers,and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves in the world. How did you do this?" "Da's easy", said Boudreaux, the Cajun. "We 'ad our bess plasic surgins workin' fo' five year for to make dat alligator look like a weenie dog." My New Website with 24hr Chat

So your saying I ought to just keep it? Because if he isn't going to hang it up then I might as well keep it My New Website with 24hr Chat

I saw a guy a couple of weeks ago who made his own suit. He went to the fabric store an bought a "jumpsuit" pattern the kind old men in the country wear. All he did was make it bigger for the bagginess and sewed in a tie for the waist. Looked pretty good too

In the DZO Dictionary the deffiniton of a "Student" is: Anyone trying to achieve the A and still has money!!

Congrats babe!! I'm still looking for a rig. Money problems and all. It'll work out though next year

Very sorry to hear about pyke. I hope he heals fast and is in the air soon. I feel his pain from being grounded for 3 weeks now. Hopefully he has plenty of good pain meds

This is a good site kinda hard to navagate but I think you'll like it W Underground Weather Give it a try. My New Website with 24hr Chat

I can only offer you myself and a personal slave for a weekend of debauchary and good times! My New Website with 24hr Chat

I hope your coming in for the Spaceland Christmas Party!

I'm joining the chant! POOL POOL POOL!!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

I never pass up a chance at seeing pretty ladies!! My New Website with 24hr Chat

YOU TEASE! You should be whipped with a wet noodle and have stale pork rinds taped to your body and let the rats eat them off!! Sex and Boobies my ass! My New Website with 24hr Chat

I've seen your picture and your a skydiving hottie!!!

You suck babe! I'm sooooooo jealous of you! I bet it was a blast

I agree with AggieDave. I wear tinted goggles. I've seen quite a few people who wear sunglasses though. If Ramon stumbles across this thread he wears sunglasses. I'm just not sure which ones myself. I've been thinking about trying them myself. My goggles aren't very scratch resistant and they are getting a bit blurry. Good luck. My New Website with 24hr Chat

NOTICE FROM SANTA I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local #209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind. However, I am certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls. However, there are a few differences between us such as: 1. There is no danger of The Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace and Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer, one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back off". The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh as well. One is a Ford logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) peeing on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hog Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state police cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure the wife and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me, like "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Johnny Paycheck's "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, Shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus (Member) North American Fairies and Elves Local #209 My New Website with 24hr Chat

December 1st TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis Human Resources Director December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty Lewis Human Resources Director December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads,"AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-- no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money. Patty Lewis Human Researchers Director December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now? Patty Lewis Human Racehorses Director December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." Patty Lewis Human Ratraces December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponics tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me? The Bitch from Hell December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays! Terri Bishop Acting Human Resources Director My New Website with 24hr Chat

I may be backing out of this one if you ladies are gunna dress us! I'm getting alittle worried now My New Website with 24hr Chat

Copied from the Chat room this afternoon...... [14:14] Zennie I have good news and I have bad news [14:14] Good news is we get our UG numbers... [14:14] Between 40 mins to 1.5 hrs, dependingon traffic [14:14] Bad news is we have to jump in drag [14:14] I read that [14:14] I think it's would be a hoot [14:14] Then we could legaly go on ALL CHIC WAYS! [14:15] lol [14:15] Just spare us and don't do a lingerie dive, please. [14:15] naw [14:15] UG? [14:15] hrm [14:15] Ugly Girl [14:15] I'm going to a second hand store and going to find the ugliest dress I can [14:15] have to think about this one tho [14:15]