MikeMcLean

Reference: Westman, E.C., Yancy, W.S., Guyton, J.S., "Effect of a Low Carbohydrate Ketogenic Diet Program on Fasting Lipid Subfractions," Circulation, 106(19)SII, 2002, page 727. (Abstract #3582). Summary: Carbohydrate-induced hypertriglyceridemia, a well-described clinical syndrome, may be a contributing factor to the increasing prevalence of metabolic syndrome, which consists of abdominal obesity, high triglycerides, low HDL-cholesterol, high blood pressure, and high fasting serum glucose. This study was conducted to determine the effects of a low carbohydrate ketogenic diet program on body weight and serum lipids in an outpatient setting. This two-arm randomized controlled trial compared a low-carbohydrate ketogenic diet (LC) (130mg/dl or triglycerides>200mg/dl) otherwise healthy volunteers motivated to lose weight for six-months. Subjects attended group meetings biweekly for 3 months, then monthly. Outcomes were body mass index (BMI) and serum lipids using an NMR lipoprotein subclass technique. The mean age of subjects was 46 years, the mean baseline BMI was 34.5kg/m2, 75% were female, 80% were Caucasian. The weight loss over six months was 13.8% for LC (n=36) and 8.8% for LF (n=27). The reduction in VLDL for was greater for LC than LF (-49% vs. -17%, p

Reference: Wolfe, B.M., Giovannetti, P.M., "Short-Term Effects of Substituting Protein for Carbohydrate in the Diets of Moderately Hypercholesterolemic Human Subjects," Metabolism, 40(4), 1991, pages 338-343. Summary: In this clinical trial, researchers set out to determine the short-term effects of substituting protein for carbohydrate in the diets of adults with high cholesterol levels. Ten subjects (4 men, 6 women) with moderately high cholesterol levels were randomly assigned to follow a high-protein (average 23% calories from protein, 24% fat, 53% carbohydrate) or low-protein diet (average 11% calories from protein, 24% fat, 65% carbohydrate) for four to five weeks. After that time, subjects switched to the other diet for an additional four to five weeks. Both diets had the same total amount of calories. When participants followed the high-protein diet, average HDL (“good”) cholesterol levels were 12% higher, mean total cholesterol was 6.5% lower, mean LDL (“bad”) cholesterol was 6.4% lower and mean total triglycerides were 23% lower than when subjects followed the low-protein diet. The authors concluded that substituting protein for carbohydrate could be useful in preventing or retarding the progression of coronary heart diseas It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Reference: Brehm, B.J., Seeley, R.J., Daniels, S.R., et al., "A Randomized Trial Comparing a Very Low Carbohydrate Diet and a Calorie-Restricted Low Fat Diet on Body Weight and Cardiovascular Risk Factors in Healthy Women," The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, 88(4), 2003, pages 1617-1623. Summary: Untested alternative weight loss diets, such as very low carbohydrate diets, have unsubstantiated efficacy and the potential to adversely affect cardiovascular risk factors. Therefore, we designed a randomized, controlled trial to determine the effects of a very low carbohydrate diet on body composition and cardiovascular risk factors. Subjects were randomized to 6 months of either an ad libitum very low carbohydrate diet or a calorie-restricted diet with 30% of the calories as fat. Anthropometric and metabolic measures were assessed at baseline, 3 months, and 6 months. Fifty-three healthy, obese female volunteers (mean body mass index, 33.6 +/- 0.3 kg/m(2)) were randomized; 42 (79%) completed the trial. Women on both diets reduced calorie consumption by comparable amounts at 3 and 6 months. The very low carbohydrate diet group lost more weight (8.5 +/- 1.0 vs. 3.9 +/- 1.0 kg; P < 0.001) and more body fat (4.8 +/- 0.67 vs. 2.0 +/- 0.75 kg; P < 0.01) than the low fat diet group. Mean levels of blood pressure, lipids, fasting glucose, and insulin were within normal ranges in both groups at baseline. Although all of these parameters improved over the course of the study, there were no differences observed between the two diet groups at 3 or 6 months. beta- Hydroxybutyrate increased significantly in the very low carbohydrate group at 3 months (P = 0.001). Based on these data, a very low carbohydrate diet is more effective than a low fat diet for short-term weight loss and, over 6 months, is not associated with deleterious effects on important cardiovascular risk factors in healthy women. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Reference: Dessein, P.H., Shipton, E.A., Stanwix, A.E., et al., "Beneficial Effects of Weight Loss Associated With Moderate Calorie/Carbohydrate Restriction, and Increased Proportional Intake of Protein and Unsaturated Fat on Serum Urate and Lipoprotein Levels in Gout: A Pilot Study," Annals of Rheumatoid Disorders, 59(7), 2000, pages 539-543. Summary: The researchers begin this study by acknowledging that insulin resistance has been increasingly implicated in the development of gout. The changes in blood cholesterol levels seen in persons with gout are similar to those associated with insulin resistance. Therefore, researchers investigated whether changes in diet that have been reported to be beneficial in persons with insulin resistance would also benefit persons with gout. Thirteen non-diabetic men, each of whom had had at least two gout attacks during the four months previous to the study, were recruited. Each subject restricted his daily caloric intake to 1,600 calories, with 40% coming from complex carbohydrates, 30% from protein and 30% from fat. After 16 weeks on this diet, subjects lost an average of 17 pounds. Their gout attacks were reduced from an average of 2.1 per month to 0.6 per month. Significant decreases were also seen in total cholesterol, LDL (“bad”) cholesterol and triglyceride levels; meanwhile, HDL (“good”) cholesterol levels increased slightly. Researchers concluded that weight reduction associated with increased protein and fat consumption and decreased carbohydrate consumption is beneficial in treating symptoms of gout. They further stated that current dietary recommendations for gout might need re-evaluation. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Reference: Dreon, D.M., Fenstrom, H.A., Campos, H., et al., "Change in Dietary Saturated Fat Intake Is Correlated With Change in Mass of Large Low-Density-Lipoprotein Particles in Men," American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 67, 1998, pages 828-836. Summary: The purpose of this study was to evaluate the relationship between dietary saturated fat intake and changes in size (subclasses) of low-density-lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol. One hundred and three men completed an outpatient study for 12 weeks to determine whether nutrient composition was associated with changes in LDL subclasses. A low-fat (24% of calories from fat: 6% saturated; 59% carbohydrate) and high-fat (46% fat: 18% saturated; 39% carbohydrate) diet was followed for six weeks each. Blood samples were collected at the start of the study and after the sixth week of each diet. It’s been established that a predominance of small dense LDL particles (subclass pattern B) is associated with increased risk of myocardial infarction. Results revealed that changes in dietary saturated fat are associated with changes in LDL subclasses in healthy men. An increase in saturated fat was associated with increases with larger (lower risk) LDL particles and decreases in smaller (increased risk) LDL particles. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Good bye and Good Riddance, I say. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Did you hear about the genius in Texas? Neither did I. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

American Journal of Cardiology (a better source than some unnamed professor) High carbohydrate diets, triglyceride-rich lipoproteins, and coronary heart disease risk Effects of variations in dietary fat and carbohydrate content on fasting lipid and lipoprotein concentrations were compared in 8 healthy volunteers. As a percent of total calories the diets contained either 60% carbohydrates, 25% fat, and 15% protein, or 40% carbohydates, 45% fat, and 15% protein. Diets were consumed in random order for 2 weeks separated by a 2-week washout period. Results: The 60% carbohydrate diet resulted in significantly higher levels of fasting plasma triglyceride, remnant lipoprotein cholesterol, remnant lipoprotein triglyceride, and lower HDL-C, with no change in LDL-C. The changes in plasma triglyceride, remnant lipoprotein cholesterol, and remnant lipoprotein triglyceride persisted throughout the day in response to breakfast and lunch. Conclusion Substituting carbohydrate for saturated fat results in higher plasma triglyceride and lower HDL-C associated with day-long increases in circulating triglyceride and remnant lipoprotein concentrations. These changes are potentially atherogenic. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Dr. Atkins was in a coma and being pumped full of steroids in an attempt to save his life from his fall. It is no wonder that he gained 70 lbs during this period. He was 190 before the fall. Remember the first rule of evaluation, consider the source. The "doctor" that released the autopsy results is a vegetarian who unethically (and probably illegally) requested medical records. Note, as a doctor you can request medical records only if you are a physician on the case, this doctor wasn't and misrepresented him self to get them. His goal, as a militant vegetarian belonging to a militant veggie group, was to create bad press for Atkins so that people would eat fewer animal products. Edit to add sources: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3483143.stm http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1508&ncid=751&e=6&u=/afp/20040212/hl_afp/us_health_atkins http://magazines.ivillage.com/goodhousekeeping/hb/news/article/0,,usatoday_2004_02_11_eng-usatoday_life_eng-usatoday_life_053051_2275648737928274100~ew~xml,00.html http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8123-998623,00.html It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

They had a minute of coverage on CBS Sunday Morning today, also. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

CBS Sunday Morning just did about a minute on the Thailand world record. Nothing negative, and video. Pretty Cool. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Quality stuff. I haven't laughed this hard in months. Funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little bastards. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment. We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you—in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps bit too much, however. I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first, I thought it was only gas which could have been passed in batches right at the table without to much concern. Unfortunately, that was not to be. After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing with explosive diarrhea. It's amazing how grease can make its way through your intestines far faster than the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I digress… I got up from the table and made my way to the bathroom. Upon entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and two toilet stalls against the back wall. One of them was a handicapped bathroom. Now, normally I would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to stretch out a bit when I take a good shit, but in this case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails with a pair of diagional wirecutters is having someone walk in on me while I am taking a shit. I went to the normal stall. In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the large, handicapped stall even though the door would not lock because that bit of time lost in making the stall switch proved to be a bit too long under the circumstances. By the time I had walked into the regular stall, the pressure on my ass was reaching Biblical proportions. I began "The Move." For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of shit at the exact same second that ones ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer. I was about half-way into "The Move" when I looked down at the floor and saw a pile of vomit that had been previously expelled by one of those little bastards attending kids night; it was mounded up in the corner so I did not notice it when I had first walked into the stall. Normally, I would not have been bothered by such a thing, but I had eaten so much and the pressure upward was so intense, that I hit a rarely experienced gag reflex. And once that reflex started, combined with the intense pressure upward caused by the bloated stomach, four plates of macaroni and beef started coming up for a rematch. What happened next was so quick that the exact sequence of events are a bit fuzzy, but I will try to reconstruct them as best I can. In that moment of impending projectile vomiting, my attention was diverted from the goings-on at the other end. To put a freeze frame on the situation, I was half crotched down to the toilet, pants pulled down to my knees, with a load of vomit coming up my esophagus. Now, most of you know that vomiting takes precidence over shit no matter what is about to come slamming out of your ass. It is apparently an evolutionary thing since shitting will not kill you, but vomiting takes a presence of mind to accomplish so that you do not aspirate any food into the bronchial tubes and perhaps choke to death. My attention was thus diverted. At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of shit the consistancy of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that moment. The shit wave was of such force and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initally hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down. Recall that when that event occured, I was already half-way to sitting anyway and had actually reached the point of no return. I have always considered myself as relatively stable gravitationally, but when you get beyond a certain point, you're going down no matter how limber you may be. Needless to say, the shit wave, though of considerable force, was not so sufficient so as to completely glance off the toilet seat and deposit itself on the walls, unlike what you would see when hitting a puddle with a high-pressure water hose; even though you throw water at the puddle, the puddle gets moved and no water is left to re-form a puddle. There was a significant amount of shit remaining on about one-third of the seat rim which I had now just collapsed upon. Now, back to the vomit... While all the shitting was going on, the vomit was still on its way up. By the time I had actually collapsed on the toilet, my mouth had filled up with a goodly portion of the macaroni and beef I had just consumed. OK, so what does the human body instinctively do when vomiting? One bends over. So I bent over. I was still sitting on the toilet, though. Therefore, bending over resulted in me placing my head above my now slightly-opened legs, positioned in between my knees and waist. Also directly above my pants which were now pulled down to a point just midway between my knees and my ankles. Oh, did I mention that I was wearing not just pants, but sweat pants with elastic on the ankles? In one mighty push, some three pounds of macaroni and beef, two or three Cokes, and a couple of Big, Fat Yeast Rolls were deposited in my pants...on the inside...with no ready exit at the bottom down by my feet. In the next several seconds, there were a handful of farts, a couple of turds, and the event ended, yet I was now sitting there with my pants full of vomit, my back covered in shit that had bounced off the toilet, spattered on three ceramic-tiled walls to a height of about five feet, and still had enough force to come back at me, covering the back of my shirt with droplets of liquid shit. All while thick shit was spread all over my ass in a ring curiously in the shape of a toilet seat. And there was no fucking toilet paper. What could I do but laugh. I must have sounded like a complete maniac to the guy who then wandered into the bathroom. He actually asked if I was OK since I was laughing so hard I must have sounded like I was crying hysterically. I calmed down just enough to ask him if he would get the manager. And told him to have the manager bring some toilet paper. When the manager walked in, he brought the toilet paper with him, but in no way was prepared for what happened next. I simply told him that there was no way I was going to explain what was happening in the stall, but that I needed several wet towels and I needed him to go ask my wife to come help me. I told him where we were sitting and he left. At that point, I think he was probably assuming that I had pissed just a bit in my pants or something similarly benign. About two minutes later, my wife came into the bathroom not knowing what was wrong and with a certain amount of worry in her voice. I explained to her (still laughing and having trouble getting out words) that I had a slight accident and needed her help. Knowing that I had experienced some close calls in the past, she probably assumed that I had laid down a small turd or something and just needed to bring the car around so we could bolt immediately. Until I asked her, I'm sure she had no idea that she was about to go across the street and purchase me new underwear, new socks, new pants, a new shirt, and (by that time due to considerable leakage around the elastic ankles thingies) new sneakers. And she then started to laugh herself since I was still laughing. She began to ask for an explanation as to what had happened when I promised her that I would tell her later, but that I just needed to handle damage control for the time being. She left. The manager then came back in with a half-dozen wet towels and a few dry ones. I asked him to also bring a mop and bucket upon which he assured me that they would clean up anything that needed to be cleaned. Without giving him specific details, I explained that what was going on in that stall that night was far in excess of what I would expect anyone to deal with, what with most of the folks working at Ryan's making minimum wage or just slightly above. At that moment, I think it dawned on him exactly the gravity of the situation. Then that manager went so far above the call of duty that I will be eternally grateful for his actions. He hooked up a hose. Fortunately, commercial bathrooms are constructed with tile walls and tile floors and have a drain in the middle of the room in order to make clean up easy. Fortunately, I was in a commercial bathroom. He hooked up the hose to the spigot located under the sink as I began cleaning myself up with the wet towels. Just as I was finishing, my wife got back with the new clothes and passed them into the stall, whereupon I stuffed the previously worn clothing into the plastic bag that came from the store, handing the bag to my wife. I finished cleaning myself off and carefully put on my new clothes, still stuck in the stall since I figured that it would be in bad taste to go out of the stall to get redressed in the event I happened to be standing there naked and some little bastard kid walked in. At that point, I had only made a mess; I had not yet committed a felony and intended to keep it that way. When I finished getting dressed, I picked up the hose and cleaned up the entire stall, washing down the remains toward the drain in the center of the room. I put down the hose and walked out of the bathroom. I had intended to go to the manager and thank him for all he had done, but when I walked out, three of the management staff were there to greet me with a standing ovation. I started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to throw up again, but managed to scurry out to the car where my wife was now waiting to pick me up by the front door. The upshot of all this is that I strongly recommend eating dinner at Ryan's Steak House. They have, by far, the nicest management staff of any restaurant in which I have eaten. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Have to agree, good movie. My wife took me to see it last night. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

I've used Snapfish and been happy. I also use them to develop the occasional roll of 35mm that I have, digital scans and prints, low cost. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

That's right; after making all of us find our USPA numbers ...

false It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Probably not; it may be eaiser for the realy winner to "settle" out of court if she sues. She has very little to loose with a lawsuit (probably can get someone to take it on contingency) and the possibility of a large win. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

SWF It's quite a nice (little) airport, since I now live 15 minutes from it (and the ranch

These two are cool, also: 1 2 It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Maybe you want to check this one out. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

I have highlighted some of my favorite passages THE INSULT FILE VERSION 6.10 You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back; you are a festering pustule on a weasel's rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. You are a technicolor yawn. And did I mention that you smell? You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipe player. You were not born. You were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn't crawl out of a normal egg, either, but rather a mutant maggot egg rejected by an evil scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it ever so much more rapidly. If cluelessness were crude oil, your scalp would be crawling with caribou. You are a thick-headed trog. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a few chromosomes short of a full human. Worse than that, you top-post. God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You are Satan's spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Do you fantasize that your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the $0.000000001 worth of electricity used to send them? Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T. and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git. You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.10 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You think that HTTP://WWW.GUYMACON.COM/INSULT/ is the name of a rock band. You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived. You would rather read L. Ron Hubbard than Larry Niven. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patterns all day if the other inmates would let you. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. Spammers look down on you. Phone sex operators hang up on you. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. May you choke on your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillanimous galactophage and you wear your sister's training bra. Don't bother opening the door when you leave - you should be able to slime your way out underneath. I hope that when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. May your spouse be blessed with many bastards. You are so clueless that if you dressed in a clue skin, doused yourself in clue musk, and did the clue dance in the middle of a field of horny clues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not have a clue. If you were a movie you would be a double feature; _Battlefield_Earth_ and _Moron_Movies_II_. You would be out of focus. You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. You won't make it. I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world which became unbearable when you crawled out of a harpy's lair. It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid as a stone that the other stones make fun of. So stupid that you have traveled far beyond stupid as we know it and into a new dimension of stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid cubed. Trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed to a singularity where even the stupons have collapsed into stuponium. Stupid so dense that no intelligence can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot summer day on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one minute than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. It cannot be possible that anything in our universe can really be this stupid. This is a primordial fragment from the original big stupid bang. A pure extract of stupid with absolute stupid purity. Stupid beyond the laws of nature. I must apologize. I can't go on. This is my epiphany of stupid. After this experience, you may not hear from me for a while. I don't think that I can summon the strength left to mock your moronic opinions and malformed comments about boring trivia or your other drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well ... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that this was true in your case then I would have never have exposed myself to what you wrote. It just wouldn't have been "right." Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good. I hope this helps... ABOUT THE INSULT FILE:: This document is a collection of insults gathered from many years of BBS and Usenet use, so the real credit goes to the many fine flamers who have had their work added to this document over the years. I am but an editor who has gathered the works of others into one document. When I started writing this file, I had no idea that it would become so popular. I just wanted a humorous way to defuse the kind of arguments BBS users sometimes get into. A Monty Python skit about people complaining about how bad they had it while growing up inspired me to put it together an insult file. Whenever I found a couple of people online trading nasty insults, I posted the insult file with the question "Do I Win?" at the bottom. This often resulted in the flame war dissolving into laughter. In the years since then, I have refined it and improved the quality of the insults, but most of the credit is not mine; the real authors are the scores of flamers who have contributed insults to the file. HOW TO USE: For full effect, I *strongly* advise using the full insult file. Yes, I know that it goes on and on. That's what makes it funny. Trust me on this one. One insult is insulting. A *bunch* of insults are funny! PERMISSIONS: You are free to use this for any purpose, including web pages, newsgroup posts, emails, and letters to the Los Angeles Times. I do *not* require you to give me credit if you use this in an email or newsgroup post - it is more effective without it. Just cut and past it as is, tell anybody who asks where you got it, and refer them to this paragraph if they think you stole it. I would prefer credit if you put this on your web page, but feel free to ignore that preference if the page works better that way. I would appreciate it of you don't remove the hidden reference to the web page URL and version number - that's how my fellow DNRC members know they have the latest version. CREDITS: I tried to make a list of who the original author of each bit was, but I keep running into cases where more than one person claimed to be the original author. In some cases I have found that the supposed original author stole it himself. The best way to solve this is to do a web and newsgroup search on any phrase that you are particularly interested in, and look for the earliest published occurrence. LATEST VERSION: Now that the file has become popular, there are many hacked-up and outdated versions of it floating around the 'Net. If you see one, please let people know that they can always find the latest version here It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

I agree with that. I mean, any NFL team that doesn't win their conference can't play in the Super Bowl, right? Seems like a pretty simple idea to me. Not quite, the NFL (as does most pro sports) has a wild-card system taht lets non-conference winning teams into the playoffs. The key, though, is that once in they must playoff It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Nike ran a full page ad in USA today sometime last week that was basically an empty page, witha small four team "playoff" grid (Winner of Michigan/USC plays winner of LSU/Oklahoma on 10-Jan) and the tag line "Just Do It" IMO that ad says it all....... It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

Just Check here, or or here, or or here, or even here. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

There is nothing sci-fi, star wars, nor jei about me. Please don't attack me personally like this. It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention