Islandcool

Nice job.... It was kind of funny to see the word "floatier". Then again skydiving is full off words you wont see anywhere else. Ed

You're going to Sunset Cliffs in San Diego? Then you need to stop at South Beach in Ocean Beach and eat some oysters on the half-shell and drink a Vodka Martini. I can hear the Hooty Hoo now. Ed

Try like circut city or best buy. Sears is actually one of the harder ones to get. An easy one is Mervyn's also.

Dude take it to oil max with the coupon and let them do it for $20. Better than dragging your ass under that thing. Ed

Ok so someone emailed this to me. Number 8 is killing me. Signs That You Are Too Drunk 1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects. 2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. 3. Job interfering with your drinking. 4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. 5. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. 6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. 7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence??? 9. Two hands and just one mouth - now THAT's a drinking problem! 10. You can focus better with one eye closed. 11. The parking lot seems to have moved when you were in the bar. 12. Every woman you see has an exact twin. 13. You fall off the floor... 14. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. 15. "Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!" 16. The glass keeps missing your mouth. 17. Bill Clinton starts to make sense. 18. Vampires and mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you. 19. At AA meetings you begin with: "Hi, my name is... uh..." 20. Your idea of cutting back means less salt. 21. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. 22. The whole bar says "HI!" when you come in. 23. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive. 24. "Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol." 25. "I'm not drunk, you're just sober" 26. Roseanne looks good. 27. You don't recognize your wife unless seen through the bottom of a glass. 28. "That damned pink elephant followed me home again." 29. You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store. 30. "I'm as jober as a sudge." 31. You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani in Waikiki. 32. You've fallen and you can't get up. 33. When hangovers become an attractive alternative lifestyle. 34. "Beertender! Get me another bar!" 35. The shrubbery's drunk too, from frequent watering. 36. Your name is Ted Kennedy. 37. Foster Brooks appears sober to you.

Yeah sure I bought one at Wal-Mart yesterday.

Yeah and he's wearing one-o-dem parachute t-shirts too. Ed

This is a chick channel isn't it. 'Meow TV' debuts on Oxygen NEW YORK (AP) — Balls of yarn, little plastic toys with bells inside and the occasional whiff of catnip simply aren't enough to satisfy the entertainment needs of today's sophisticated, high-tech felines. Cats need television. And now they have it. Meow TV, which bills itself as being for cats "and the people they tolerate," debuted at 7:30 p.m. ET Friday on the Oxygen network. The tongue-in-furry-cheek comedy mixes video of squirrels and fish with segments titled Cat Yoga and Cat Haiku. An interminably perky host on The House Cat Shopping Network urges kitties to "use those paws — you've seen your owners do it, you know how to dial a phone." And an ad for a collection of favorite feline songs includes Spay You, Spay Me and Mice, Mice Baby. Lazy, lasagna-loving Garfield had his own animated series for a while. So did the cranky comic-strip cat Heathcliff and the animated troublemaker Felix. Then there was Salem, the spooky animatronic talking cat on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. And of course, there was the Toonces the Driving Cat sketch on Saturday Night Live. Meow TV executive producer Elyse Roth likened her show to Cat-urday Night Live, and said at least two more episodes are in the works. Actress Annabelle Gurwitch, formerly of TBS' Dinner and a Movie, plays host while sitting on the couch with her 9-year-old black cat, Stinky. "The artistic mission was to create programming you could watch with your cat," Roth said. "I don't know that you're going to park your cat and do whatever." (A recent advance showing of Meow TV at a Brooklyn loft, however, failed to hold the attention of a certain pair of overfed 11-year-old cats. Cali, the calico, licked herself the whole time, while Silver, who's gray and white, stared blankly out the window, then slinked away for food about halfway through.) But some cats really do watch television, insisted Pat Marengo as she cuddled her brown-and-orange Persian, Maggie. "She watches anything that's fast. She likes sports, she likes cartoons. She likes to see other cats on TV," said Marengo, who lives on Long Island with her husband and a family of cats who act and model. "We have a cat perch near the television, and she goes up, looks at it and tries to touch it." Marengo and Maggie were at the Meow TV launch party on Tuesday night. Also in attendance was Vincent Pastore, who starred in The Sopranos as Big Pussy. Ed

Damn dude I'm right there with you. Somebody better start a support group quick! Ed

A friend was at the Doctor's office and brought me the Christain mag called "Guideposts" because there was a skydiving story in it. Of course it was meant to be an inspirational story but I looked at it and was just shaking my head. The issue was April 2003. 35 year old mother of 2 gets divorced. She decides to skydive and takes the AFF course. Level six she does her backflip but she thinks she didn't do it correctly so she tries again...and again..and again. While she trying to perfect her backflip her AAD fires. She lands with a hard thump that knocks the wind out of her but she's ok. She then goes on to thank god for having the angels at her side and such. I appreciate god and all but whew. I dunno. This story just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I think it was the way it was written. Ya know a lot of fluff and stuff. I'm glad she survived and all but geeeezz. I thought by level six you should have an idea of alt awareness. She finished her AFF and hasn't jumped since. Although the story was in the April 2003 issue It looks like this took somewhere about '93. Still shaking my head on this one. I hope god will pull me out of a jam one day but I know I have to do my part too. I hope while she was thanking god for sending her some angels she also put in a bless the folks at Airtec. Ed

Hey I just finsihed a Bond gig too. Had a couple of Vodka Martinis....shaken not stirred. You're looking lovley today Moneypenny. Ed

I saw it. It was seriously fucked up. That's all I got to say about that. Ed

Well I was going to Perris but then I heard there was gonna be a bearded Jagermeister lovin' dude there. So I decided to get my reserve repacked instead. How the hell ya doin'? I'll catch ya around Elsinore sometime. Ed

The day just got better. "Ed?" What's up? "We have an insured that just hit a big diesel truck head on and he says the front is all smashed and the tires broke off. Do you think it's repairable? Should I get it towed to a shop?" What kind of Vehicle is it? "'93 Chevy pick up." Think Ms adjuster. How much do you think that truck is worth? "I don't know?" "I'm a girl. I don't know about cars." Yes ladies and gentlemen she actually said that. Is it beer-thirty yet? Ed

Unlisted driver lost control and rolled vehicle. Geeezzzz... Your command of the obvious is very impressive Ms. Adjuster. Of course the question of the day is. Ed can you tell me if this repairable? Whew... God bless. Ed

What???? That's it?? Divide by 2.5?? Geeeeezzz!

Yeah he did! Any idea what he was wearing? Ed

Damn Metric system. What's that in inches? I'm to lazy to convert it. Ed

Frickin' Long Island girls are killing me over here. I should have draged you to my place for a few days. What a riot. Is Mia's stalker still around? Ed

Come on, I'm only an hour away. You guys should have come back with me. My bathroom needs cleaning!

One of my favorites was a kid who said he did a base jump tandem in mexico. The guy then said it was about 150' with a 15 second delay. After he left we were cracking up soo bad. Ed

Fuck Phree... I gotta say I was stoked when I saw you give Clownburner some tips on packing. I used a few of those tips that weekend and it took care of the issues I had with controlling the canopy. Even though I still pretty slow at it, way less stress. Thanks.

Elwood Blues: Oh no! Jake Blues: What the fuck was that? Elwood Blues: We threw a rod! Jake Blues: Is that serious? Elwood Blues: Yup.

Man that one was a killer. Water out the nose and everything. Ed

A Duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he has any grapes. The bartender says no. So the duck comes back the next three days and asks the same thing. Now this was getting on the bartender's nerves. So the next time the duck asked if he had any grapes, the bartender screamed at him, "If you ask that again, I'm gonna nail you to the floor!" The next day the duck walks in and says, "Got any nails?" The bartender says no. So the duck says "Got any Grapes?"