TheBile
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Everything posted by TheBile
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There was a Dutch teacher called Karma Who jumped on the outskirts of Palma He got in a State Pulled Silver a bit late And landed in the field of a farmer. No bones did he break, our friend Karma Although it was a bit of a drama You see, Dally broke his fall As far as I can recall So he owes his life to Dally the Lama Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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There was a Slovenian called Grega Who jumped like a Red Dwarfing Smegger He tried a kiss pass On a blonde bimbo's ass. That guy is a dirty old beggar. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Scratch is giving me jip soooo ............. There was a South African called Scratch Who was the first of a very bad batch Babes on the DZ He does chat up with glee but fails 'cos he's no f**king catch. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Mininac is way too valuable to the world to entrust his safety to someone like me. Instead of packing, how about I wash his jumpsuit every day to get off the grass stains he will regularly accumulate. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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I would just like to point out that this particular limeric is total fiction and in no way reflects the true nature or physical incapabilities of Mr.NacMacfeegle. Those of you who have met him (and judging by the names he drops on a regular basis, most of you have) you'll know that he is not old, he does not have a bad back, he has a perfectly healthy bone structure, he does not have any bad breath problems and, despite his middle age (as opposed to the old age mentioned in the lymerick) he can still skydive perfectly well with the best of you. The lymerick was in no way meant to undermine the respect and admiration we all have for my fellow Celt, and this newbie apologises for any undue upset caused by said post. (Do you think he will buy it ? Yeah, I think it sounds ok.) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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There was a young student called Heli Who's learning to fly on his belly After all that Black Label He cannot keep stable Cos' his gut flops around like a Jelly Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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There was an old Scotsmen called Nac Who's age meant he had a bad back His osteoporsis And extreme halitosis Meant skydiving he could no longer hack Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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There was a young Brummie called Matt Who BASE jumped into a big vat It was full to the brim With shit oh so grim. So the last thing he heard was a splatt. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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There once was a young Aussie named Suz Who jumped with a bottle of booze She spent the whole minute Just trying not to spill it And not one small drop did she lose There was a Manifester called Blue Who quite honestly didn't have a clue She booked on the flight A man with no sight And his guide dog went up with him too. There was a cute diver called Skystorm Who's jumpsuit was slighlty not norm It had holes in it see From from the neck to the knee She wasn't exactly that warm Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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His voice will forever be immortalised as Ultra Magnus in Transformers:The Movie. (Amongst other things of course.) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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1.)After spending my entire youth promising I'd do it I just got up off my butt and said that I have to do it now, before I turn 30. I made my first jump 6 months prior to my 30th birthday. 2.) Not long. Half way through AFF. 3.) Because it's unlike any experience you will ever have in your entire life. It can't be compared with anything else because it is so unique. The people involved in the sport are some of the best around. No matter what country you go to or what level of experience skydivers have, 99% of them are good examples of the positive nature of the human race. I have also found that you get a certain respect from whuffos when you tell them what you spend your freetime doing. They may think your crazy but I have noticed a certain amount of new found admiration from friends and colleagues who knew me long before I made my first jump. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Batfink was another one. "My wings are like a shieeeeld of steel!!" Karate was an asshole though. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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We had a works outing some years back to play Paintball. The play area was inside a two tier converted warehouse. Even though I was wearing goggles I got shot right in the eyes. Some of the paint must have filtered through becase my eyes were stinging for about 20 minutes after. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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* TUT! * You guys. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Happy Birthday from the Welsh Furry One. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Scrabble. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Batman. Because he's a superhero that doesn't have any special powers. He didn't come into contact with anything radioactive, he wasn't showered by some mysterious cosmic ray, he's not an alien from another world. He developed the skills, knowledge and strength he has through discipline and determination, and I respect that. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Thanks for that. That's the funniest thing I've seen all day. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Someone pat me on the back Can I pat you down as well. I GOT MY DREAM JOB! I wasn't aware I was getting a personal assistant. No more delivering pizza's! Well at least they'll start finding their way to the correct addresses. I'm working as a sales consultant for Telstra! With that sexy voice of yours I'm sure you could sell water to an Eskimo. Back to the sky I go!!! Cool. AND....a cherry on top? I have a hot date tomorrow night. I though you said you'd lost your cherry ? Can someone buy me a house now?? LOL With that salary your on now you can afford to buy your own. Seriously though, I'm happy for you Suz. Glad things worked out for you in the end. Don't forget to let us know the details of the date. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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I may be shallow in saying this, although bear in mind that I'm not speaking from experience, but I feel that in the internet scenario you presented the physical appearance may be the difference for me personally between loving someone as a friend or loving someone as a lover. That said I also believe that different people find different physical characteristics attractive. The internet is also something which people can hide behind. Someone who has low self esteem in their appearance may feel much more freedom in being themselves when they are not talking face to face with another person, simply because the self conciious element or spotlight effect is removed. They have the comfort of cyberspace and distance seperating their physical selves from another person. If they were to eventually meet then the personalities may well change from that which the internet presents. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Have you seen the video to the 'Breathe Me To Life' single ? The lead singer does a newbie style BASE jump towards the end. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Just to let you all know that based on your recommendations I have now bought the album, and I'm glad I did. One crap tune out of 12 aint bad (and it's the slowest one.) The style of music is like getting Disturbed, Extreme and Heart - chucking them all in a bowl and mixing them all together. Cheers folks. I knew I could rely on you lot. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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And I thought I left it late in life ! Your dad's a seriously cool dude for doing it though. I was amazed at the plane exit pic. The Tandem Master looks more shocked and scared than your pop. It looks like he's thinking, "Yeah ? So ? What's the big deal ?" Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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The image of that cat spinning is just too funny. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !
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Good call. The artwork and creativity by such artists as Brian Bolloand, Carlos Esquerra and Ron Smith on those covers were awesome. I've still got the first 647 2000AD comics lying in the attic of my parents house. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !