Deuce

Pictures!

Bwah! My paperless office kills more trees than Paul Bunyan

Finance question: Uh, put it on the credit card?

I've got a Hawkeye LT. The finish is better if you go for anything other than the clear laminate over the carbon fiber. The Bonehead's paint seems to come off pretty easy. The Hawkeye's color is in the gelcoat itself, so it holds up to scratches better. I had to add some padding to the ears in mine to make is fit snugly. I'm happy with it. JP

I'd quit and work full time as a AFF instructor, Tandem Master, and vidiot. Probably wouldn't change anything else.

Useful. Useful to abuse if you are a lumster.

I'll have a DZ.Com T-shirt with "DEUCE" on the back. If I can get my little screaming goggle-boy on their too, I will.

"Protect your bed. Skydiver excretion proof Herculiner. Do it today!"

Hi Heather! My Cypress and check are on the way! One other plus about buying new, is that when you get a new/smaller rig, you can just tell the manufacturer "Same measurements as my last one". Makes you feel all important. "A W-10 please, my measurements are on file" Oh, and when you get a new one, you get the beer coolie. So cool. Wings customer service is tops. JP

Nice Rhinolining in the Bed AggieD!

OMG. Oh so fast.

I got wings for days. I know me, Quade and Jairo are gonna be there. The compilation tape of this invasion could be epic. Epic I Tell Ya! Epic.

You scared me. I had no idea what to expect, you have been dropping hideous pictures with some regularity. Ah, English medicine. You have to wait a year to get necessary surgery, but while you're waiting.... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Uh, Texas? You're gonna have a rig (18 wheel type) coasting right next to TG the whole way. They will keep looking down into that window until she gives it up. I think you'll end up getting better mileage drafting on them like that

Let's say you're 6' 180#. You like Royal Blue, Red, and Black. You want a Wings with the full stainless, and a pud-handled pullout. You want a PDR 176 reserve, and a Spectre 170. You want a Cypress. I bought that rig new last year for about $4500. It has about 300 jumps on it, zero on the reserve. You could buy it from me for about $3200 if you're about the same size. You've saved over a thousand bucks, about 55 jump tickets, and the main is broken in enough that you can pack it. Packing a brand new zero-p canopy near-about requires a riggers ticket. I'm not selling yet, but I think that's a usefull way to look at it.

ATTENTION B-SQUARED! Hi! I'll be arriving in my fuel-efficient vehicle about 7 PM, Thursday the 26th, sans family. They're flying out Monday morning to do a week in Arizona and the drive home. I'm in for a balloon jump! A Stearman jump! And a rock-n-roll ballerina camera jump! Can't wait to meet more DZ.commers! THAT IS ALL! For now

When I was flying video for 4 way in Lodi, one of the grizzled crew dogs kissed me before bailing out. It was hilarious. I was flying video on a zoo dive at Perris when Bytch kissed everybody, so I missed it. I told my Mrs. about it and she suited up and did a tandem so I could get my first freefall kiss from her. My level one instructor was the tandem master on that one. Our sixteenth wedding anniversary on Friday the 13th. Oh, and I'm ready for more. And no, it's not cheating.

Thanks for serving. I don't know why jury duty has been made into something everyone is conditioned to avoid. The waiting is boring, and the lawyers can be a pain, but the job is so important. Whether criminal or civil, you will have a great impact on the lives of the suspects and victims, plaintiffs and defendants. If you're single, hope to get sequestered! Decent room & board! Hang in there. I got called for Federal jury duty a while back. I had to commute from my house to San Francisco, like a hundred and forty mile round trip. I asked to be dismissed, cause I'm an assh*le, but they just had to find that out for themselves before they'd let me go!

D'oh!

"Touson" "Tuson" You guys using those phonetic typers? Maybe Tucson? We are all going to Arizona, right? Have you faked me in to going to the wrong boogie? I'm going to show up in Arizona and everybody's gonna be in New Orleans or something yelling "FAKE!"

One of many scenes in Pulp Fiction that got it right!

Well, anybody can sue you for anything. As a bouncer, you are expected to eat more crow than your patrons. This varies widely from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, in LA a kid gets to grab you by the nuts before you slam him, I suspect in other parts of the country it's acceptable to smack a suspect for being insolent. If a bouncer can articulate that the "first" punch was in fact defensive, he'll be OK. But make the fight clearly unavoidable. You want to be giving a half a dozen, real clear opportunities for the belligerant to back out. You want it to be clear to any jury, anywhere, that this individual would have motivated Mother Theresa to hit him with a frying pan. "The patron took a boxing stance and brought both hands up to chest level. He stated he was going to "pop you (me) in the jaw", he gritted his teeth, clenched his fists and began to bring his fists up to chest level. His left fist was forward, his right fist came back and his weight shifted in a manner that my training and experience made clear he was about to punch me. I took a step back, cocked my baton (Nancy Kerrigan knee-type-baton) and said "Stop". The patron swung his fist at me and I initiated a hair-pull takedown legsweep. The patron continued to struggle and I applied a carotid restraining hold rendering him unconscious. When the patron regained consciousness I assisted him to the men's room where he changed his shorts and apologized profusely. He signed this release prior to leaving the bar, I filed a report with the police that same night documenting the incident. Clay! If you have lined up some cop job that doesn't require some escalation of force I can't wait to read your reports: "I became aware of the suspect and shot him and returned to my beat"

Poor Clay. Your conversion is going to be a tough one. First: As an officer, your "peace" cannot be disturbed. If you call a regular person a Motherf*cker to their face and they hit you, no crime. "Using words or actions likely to cause an immediate, violent reaction" is "disturbing the peace". You lose that when you're a cop. A nasty person does something like that to you on duty, no crime. Although, you gotta figure their on drugs, to say something so ridiculous, so you investigate them for that. Second, when a cop is accused of a crime, an "IA" or internal affairs investigation, he is guilty until he proves his innocence. If there's no merit to the accusation, that's how it's closed. Not "not guilty" but "no merit to complaint" "unproven" or "not founded". A Pitchess motion allows flea-ridden defense attorneys (they are all flea ridden, unless they are defending YOU) to bring up the amount of complaints filed against you, regardless of the outcome of the investigation. You gotta use the whupass sparingly. Explosively and effectively, but sparingly. Say it with me Clay: "Sir! Please submit!" (WHACK) "Sir! Please submit (WHACK) Remind me to tell you these stories at Eloy: Officer I want something to EAT! Officer my ASS is hanging out! Officer I OWN you now! (AKA Sir! Please submit! WHACK)

I'm just a shiny happy person having fun. How the heck do you get to Rec dot anyway. Never been there. Sounds like I'd get my tender feelings hurt anyhow. Wah.

Nothin but pancake eatin' weightlifters, all of ya! But, uh, "yeah, more morphine would be good.....you're not just gonna shoot the rest of that out on the ground, are you?"