Thanatos340

Charming

Denial?? isnt that a river in Egypt?? I guess you are right.. Arrogant Lecherous Bastard!!

Friend.

Alright girl!! I warned you about that!! Spreading false rumors.. Going to ruin my reputation!! Im really a lecherous bastard right??

Genuine

She tried. I ducked!!

What one word best describes the poster above you?? I will go first... Nonexistent!!

Laura.. You just stubborn.. Kitty.. You just outspoken.. Gia.. You just fiesty!! Turtle.. You just Turtle.. I Dont know the rest of you well enough to be judgemental yet!!

So if I tell you that you can be very judgmental at times.. Am I standing up to you or Being judgmental myself??

As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory. I'd be embarrassed too--there are only eight of them, for crying out loud! And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I'd have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn't remember them. (I checked into it and the cost is prohibitive.) I merely told him that I thought writing the rules on his arm with a ball point might be inadequate—ink washes off—and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative. One time, when my Ex caught me having one of my daughter's would-be suitors practice pulling into the driveway, get out of the car, and go up to knock on the front door (he had violated rule number one, so I figured he needed to run through the drill a few dozen times) she asked me why I was being so hard on the boy. "Don't you remember being that age?" she challenged. Of course I remember. Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules? Once again... I have a Shot Gun, A Shovel and very Large Back Yard. Please do not forget this.

Buy a case of beer.. Make a few friends at the DZ.. One of them will teach you to pack.

Reasonable, logical and accurate posts like you just made are not allowed on here. This totally counter productive a good argument. Please go back and edit your post to include more conjecture, wild accusations, unsubstantiated claims, personal attacks, inconsistent facts and for gods sake.. Please get rid of the logical and rational parts so that this post can conform to the rest of this thread.

There.. Fixed it for you. Kele could then line them up like madeline kahn in History of the world part one.. Yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, Yes, no, yes, yes, no..

Only if you Surrender the Booty!!

Bat??? I guess I would let them off that easy if they were only Looking. Shotguns, Assault Rifles and a handy shovel seem to be more efficient to me.

One more.. From this weekend. Me and the only girl that could ever keep me in line. I always look my best when she is with me.

1971 Hemi Cude Convertable. Been dreaming about that car since I was 5 years old. One day.. When I have a Spare mil or two laying around....

Kele just hasnt decided on which illness she is going to call in with yet.

With Blue Berry Massage Oil?? (Have to remember to bring extra TUMS!!)

I only make them now for extreame special occations. Too many vultures showing up at my Van, Cleaning it out and leaving soon as all the treats were gone started getting to me. Delta is ready when you are!

Yep.. I am coming out of Jello-Shot retirement this weekend to help her celebrate finally graduating AFF.. She said it would be better if I could find a Hot Asian Chick to feed them to her. Just doing what I can to help a friend out!!

a hot asian girl for this weekend. No.. Its not for me. Its for a Friend. Really. Does anyone happen to have an extra one I can Borrow?? I will return them I promise.

I would agree with this if the Pilot actually knew he would be braking the law by allowing someone to jump a base rig from his Balloon. It does not appear that this was the case. It appears that The jumpers was confronted about doing something illegal and putting the pilot in danger of getting in trouble. From what was posted, The jumper didnt seem to care, So gary had someone else (with a little more authority) explain it to him. Hey if the Pilot knows it is against the law and still agrees to it.. More power to him. But someone trying to slip one past the pilot to get thier jollies is just not cool if thier action could get that pilot in trouble.

Sexy?? Nope. Not even close. Funny?? Sounds more like it.

Animal Like Breast Meat!! But sometimes.. Prefer nice tender rump roast!! And Always LOVE sushi!!