Thanatos340

Take two Viagra. Bust your way out of it.

No one is getting any from a Nun anyway and since this is a how to get laid thread.. Nuns dont count.

Andy.. ALWAYS Remember to hit LOG-OUT when you leave the PC in the packing area at The Farm.

Easy.. Women in general are Highly Competitive. Talk some of your Hot Chick friends into hanging out with you. Other Hot chicks will try to take you from the original Hot Chicks. And if you are REAL Lucky.. The Natural competitiveness of the original hot chicks will kick in and they will try to keep you.. Thus ending in one huge Orgy.

Me Too!! Personally I have never been able to figure out why ANY women put up with us. I am just glad they sometimes do.

Smart guy. Now for the serious answer.. Every girl is different. Never forget that. What is the perfect date for one, is a nightmare for another. Try asking her what she wants to do. A few suggestions. Dave and Busters is a great date night. Comedy Clubs are good too. Agathas (Dinner Theatre) across from the FOX is really cool. Try to avoid taking her to somewhere too loud like a Dance club or something if it is a first or second date. Too hard to talk and to many distractions there.

All Men can be Pigs. All Women can be Bitches. That is why we like each other.

Pink Pony. DUH!! That way you can see what type of girl does it for her when you hit her up for a 3 way later.

Cora. I miss you and after those pics... I REALLY miss. Come see us again.

Velvet Underground!! I got to meet Moe Tucker in the mid-eighties.. Sad thing is that she was working in a Walmart at the time. A Member of quite possibly the most Influential Bands ever and she was working a cash register at a rural Georgia Walmart. One famous quote about the Velvet Underground... "While only a few thousand people bought a Velvet Underground record upon their initial release, almost every single one of them was inspired to start a band". For the younger generation out there that has never listened to VU. Do yourself a Favor and take a listen.

My Money is on Gia.

Yep!! Thats the one. All the rest are pretty cool though.

Took one of thier $88 deals to PR last month. Good deal. New Plane but the seats were not that great (Uncomfortable). They start Flying to Costa Rica next month. I cant wait for that.

Why have 1 when you can have so many?? She has Lots. I like almost all of them.

If you are in a Big Plane, Traveling just under the speed of Sound.. And you start at the back of the plane and run fast as you can to the front of the plane.. Will you make a Sonic Boom?

That is MR. Sick Fuck to you young man!!

The really important thing about her is that she liked to lick assholes. "You don't really know uncomfortable until you're on your back, legs in the air, with a woman licking your anus. There's no activity, sexual or otherwise, more awkward for all involved. I guess it's not all that awkward for the person licking the asshole, but then, nothing's awkward to her. For the recipient, the male recipient, it's a total reversal of the sex roles. You're "catching" - exposed, open, invaded, suddenly the woman in the exchange. This isn't God/Grandma/Apple Pie oral sex. Barry White isn't playing in the background. They don't really do this in porn. How does it even end? Are you expected to give some unholy form of a money shot? The feeling of a tongue rolling around those parts is unlike any other. You're spread wide, like a gynecological exam, and somebody's eye to eye with your most private of orifices. You're thinking about perineal hygiene, hearing tampon commercial dialogue in your mind. Are you fresh? You find yourself trying to recall your last constitutional. How many wipes was it? Was it a clean and solid? Did you christen a perfect, near wipe-free Chocolate Submarine? Or was it a loose beer and nacho explosion? The fact is, you can wipe and buff it more than the average shoe shine - it'll never be clean enough. It's exceedingly difficult, even if you're the Earthiest naturist alive, to feel good about the aesthetics of your asshole. It's flat out impossible to feel confident about it when someone's sniffing your "body" the same way Paul Giamatti did glasses of pinot noir in "Sideways." You barely know what it looks like at a distance, let alone up close... And what little you've seen hasn't been good. I was too drunk to realize what she intended when she pushed me onto my back. I assumed a blow job. But her tongue started inching lower. I thought she was going to lick my testicles, which was relieving, considering the mouthful of raggedly assorted horse teeth she'd otherwise run up and down the length of my penis. But then, suddenly, without warning, she grabbed my legs and thrust them upward, pushing my asshole front and center below her face. I was startled, powerless and confused. She stared up at me for a second, grinned, then plunged her head between my legs, forcing her tongue inside me as you might slurp an oyster. I'd like to say I enjoyed it, that I handled it like an old pro, or that I discovered some new, intense form of orgasm as a result of the experience. The truth is, nobody handles a woman spit-shining his sphincter with casual aplomb. You can't play James Bond in the situation, not even Timothy Dalton's shitty, flustered Bond. You're a fumbling, self-conscious fool. Receiving a rim job - from a random girl, your wife, or Heidi Klum - is unnerving... disturbing. Every man attempts anal sex on his girlfriend sooner or later, and every woman expects it at some point during the relationship. The anus screams for exploration. It taunts you when you take a woman from behind, a cold mocking eye - sneering, winking with contempt... "You're a big man in the front door. But you haven't brought that game into my house. You're a chickenshit motherfucker is what you are." No self-respecting man takes that kind of shit-talking from an orifice. One way or another, no matter how much of a prude she is, you're going to go in the backdoor. But licking, sucking, tasting the anus? You just don't do that, no matter how hot she is, no matter how drunk you are. That said, I'd lick a thousand women's assholes before I'd lick one man's. I've owned a male anus for decades. Without exception, be it maintained by a manicured metrosexual with a waxed taint, or a toothless swamp cretin out of "Deliverance," the male anus is Three Mile Island toxic - a cavern of festering bacteria knotted into dreadlocks of the filthiest hair on planet Earth. It has no competition in the pantheon of grotesque body parts, holding the number one slot on that countdown since man first walked upright. One hundred stinking armpits don't equal one sweaty male asshole. That she had spent several minutes licking mine dropped her from lamentable default fuck to carnival freak in an instant. As soon as the sex was over, I bolted for the shower, after which I sunk into the couch with five fingers of Knob Creek. I gulped it furiously, praying I'd pass out on the couch before she awoke and dragged me back into the bedroom. Certainly, she knew better than to ask for "cuddling." She had to realize by the way that I'd pulled out, snapped when she tried to kiss me, chucked the condom in the garbage and ran for the door in one fluid motion that I had no intention of being anywhere near her for another moment. I'd have barely run quicker from a rabid German Shepherd. Whatever the reason, when you have access to willing women, you make the most of it. The opportunity's fleeting by design. Sex comes in waves - massive tidal force monsters, leaving barren shore in their wake. Women sense which men are having sex and which aren't, and they only fuck those who are already getting fucked. I don't know if this is instinctual, or if it derives from the fact that men who are already having regular sex are calmer and therefore more attractive to women. Whatever the reason, when you're in the midst of a hot streak, you're at the peak of your attractiveness to women. You take advantage of the situation, no questions asked. The wave will peak and crash. You'll inevitably find yourself in a trough again, fucking your hand and cursing your luck. When nature offers you the wave, you grab it and ride the fucker into the rocks. Edit: Stolen from some website somewhere.

We can play for as much as you would like. I will make sure to bring my Piggy bank with me just in case.

No My Friend... THIS is the Perfect Ass!!

Agreed on all counts. Last I heard she was taken though.

Why is that we Drive on Parkways and we Park on Driveways?? Why are they called "Apartments" when in reality they all Stuck together?? Who is the absolute HOTTEST Chick on DZ.com. (Must pick one and only one).

Not Andy.. We were talking about shimmel.

Take Him.. PLEASE!!! And keep him long as you would like. Its not a problem.. REALLY.. Its not.

OK.. Slight change in plans.. I am now flying in on the Wednesday 11th (get in to LA around 5 pm-ish) and Flying out Friday soon as I get done with my meetings. Im staying right near LAX at the Four Points Sheraton. Wednesday night?? Wide open for me. Thursday Night?? Looks like we could get together for dinner and/or drinks somewhere near LAX (Have to keep it to no more than medium Pimpin as I have to be up and somewhat coherent early Friday morning) Looking forward to seeing a few of you west coasters while out there.

Mostly (However I can make no Guarentees if there are women nearby.. He is kinda exciteable and accidents could happen)