bluefingers

hey Ferdi, you've been spending way too much time on that other forum Kerry

Yeah what he said. Worked for me, only prob, now I have to figure out how to clone myself . Mind you, if I wasn't here on the forum so often I might not need to! Kerry

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. "JY SAL KAK SLAAP" someone else please translate ... Kerry

What happens, happens. Personally, I think that if you go on the hunt for a serious long term partner, you're asking for trouble. Imagine. Date 1: oooo I want this man to be the father of my many offspring .... ugh ... poor guy will run for the hills! Just let it happen. If it's meant to be, you'll know. If not, have a little fun then move on. Kerry

1:0:1 1 x piercing - belly button - call me a baby but it was so sore I nearly kicked the guy in the teeth! 0 jumps - no plane 1 - beer owed for getting pierced, and finally following through with the deal I made with the DZ chaps - when I got to first FF, I had to get my belly pierced... Kerry

I don't even go there - every time my mom phones with a question, I refer her to my ex ... Kerry

*sigh* well normally I'd be heading home/pub by now (it's 4:45pm here) but seeing as I work with cretins who have no concept of the word deadline, I am sitting here waiting for some urgent stuff to be emailed to me .... *tap tap tap* so that I can take it home, and spend my weekend editing it - marvellous sorry, had to vent. Someone throw me a beer puuleeeesE??? I'm begging. ... Kerry

yeah yeah my boss would frogmarch me from the building if she caught me with pizza ... It's a case of do what I say, not what I do Kerry

I had pizza - the works ... hell, but I don't have the healthiest eating habits ... Kerry

A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the Birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!" Confused, the father asks what's wrong. "Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa speech'. At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for." Kerry

aw geez! It would help if I added the attachment ... Kerry

After one helluva day, this made me laugh Kerry

Oh hell! do us a favour, give a couple days warning so we can arm err prepare ourselves ... Kerry

it WAS baked potato with Bovril and cheese .... munching popcorn now, starved .... I'm thinking pasta for dinner ... Kerry

All these weird sounding beers *shakes head* .... just throw me a Windhoek Lager and I'm happy

Great! Now these oorsee se mense are REALLY going to think we are savages Kerry

With immediate effect, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for staff during working hours, thus ensuring effective time management and equal treatment for all. In future, the doors to all toilets will be equipped with computer-linked voice recognition devices, which can only be activated to open at the sound of a person's voice. Staff must therefore immediately provide management with two voiceprints, one in a normal tone and one under stress/desperation. The following rules shall also apply: 1) On the first day of every month, all staff will be issued with 22 toilet trip credits, which may be accumulated. 2) Once the employee's toilet trip bank reaches zero, the doors of the toilet will not unlock for the employee's voice until the first working day of the following month. 3) In addition, all cubicles are to be equipped with timed paper-roll extractors. If the toilet is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds later, the roll of toilet paper will retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the door will open automatically. 4) If the toilet remains occupied, your photograph will be taken by a security camera and will appear on the Toilet Offenders Board. 5) Anyone appearing three times will forfeit three months' toilet trip credits. 6) Anyone caught smiling when the photograph is taken will undergo counselling by a clinical psychologist. 7) Be advised that workmen's compensation insurance does not cover any injuries incurred while trying to stop the toilet paper retracting into the dispenser, or trying to keep the toilet door from opening. We trust that you will co-operate fully with us, and suggest that if you have any problems with this policy, you should make more use of your own toilet facilities at home where you can sit to your hearts content. SIGNED MANAGEMENT Kerry

Relax! I'm sure he'll be quite happy to share my biltong ... Kerry

or for those who don't have a sense of humour ... Kerry

Bill, they weren't arrested because they happened to be watching videos of farm attacks. A few weeks back a bunch of right wing chaps were arrested for plotting to overthrow the govt or something. A few are still on the run and hiding on these farms. I think the newspaper is trying to link the rightwing plot to the theft of the plane, by bringing up the meetings ... I think the concern about the fact they were watching the videos is that the "organised agricultural circles" are worried that it might lead to a bunch of right wing vigilantes on the loose .. Kerry

hmmm it seems that whatever you say these days is politically incorrect somewhere to set the record straight Bimbo's is a fast food outlet that I should have shares in by this point - serves the best breakfast in a pita ever! Kerry

Haven't been there in years ... but basically, after partying till sunrise, you get serious munchies, and back in the day, it was one of the few places open at that hour ... you screech in, leave someone behind the wheel, engine idling, someone else stands guard while you collect your order, then you all leap back into the car, and screech out of there, hoping like hell that none of the locals saw you ... Thank goodness for Bimbo's ... now I can satisfy my munchies attack in relative safety Kerry

not feeling very much like spring at the moment, but I shouldn't moan .... I am sure it's MUCH better over here ok, biltong? sheesh, how do I describe it, basically huge slabs of meat, preferrably venison (kudu, impala, hell I've even had ostrich, beef will do as well) , that have been salted and spiced, and dried out, very addictive! Boerewors roll - huge fat juicy spicy sausage

No man, yuck. I'll throw in a couple kilo's of good ol Souf Effrican Biltong instead .... and a boerie roll or five .... much better party fare ... Kerry