lilDevil

``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

OK ill be good lol NOT ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Your welcome lmao ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

I used to give mine Hills science diet he loved it Kitty pics not mine haha ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper,but you'll also be getting paid for it. Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f**king thing in the first place. Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall. Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in. Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on. Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard. An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator. Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken steroids by running a bit slower. Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one. Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference. Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours,and ask for a nice steak. High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your roof. Nissan Micra drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway,so it may as well look like one. A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep. Avoid bickering and petty arguments by immediately punching anyone with whom you disagree. Fool next door into thinking you have more stairs than them by banging your feet twice on each stair. At supermarket checkouts a Toblerone box makes a handy 'Next customer Please' sign for dyslexic shoppers. Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner. A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency. AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally. Brilliant! HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket. OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

What ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

I aint still in school lol ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Compliance not submission

Shuddup you sarcastic fuck Think hes been standing in his fertilizer too long Good luck hope you find a job you like ;-) ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

What a guy.

And just how many people would be put to sleep because they arnt cute anymore or xmas is over etc etc ? Nice call Chris

well they do have them but most trained as vets lol anyway it doesnt matter were they are they all charge like wounded bulls thats why i dont like them. ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

And dont you forget it lmao ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

I just have to see him on the 8th of june then he'll fix a date. Should be soon after as ive got medibank private, but I will hold you to that thanks ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Can someone please come hold my hand, ive to see a surgeon with my wrist in 2 weeks time, Ive got carpel tunel, I dont like needles and I think they do it when your awake ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

And just how many people would be put to sleep because they arnt cute anymore or xmas is over etc etc ? I can think of a FEW! Yep so can I ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

And just how many people would be put to sleep because they arnt cute anymore or xmas is over etc etc ? ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. Youdon't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!! This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload! Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet,but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is. Your loving daughter, Sheila ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

im not even close ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

A nice peace of fillet well done with morton bay bugg sauce YUM ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

If you 2 are a couple why not sit dow with him and explain that he has obviously got his wires crossed. do it as a couple and there is no illusions then, allow her to explain to him that she likes him as a friend but you are the guy she is with. Good idea ! ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

yep not nice to play games like that, itll come back and bite you in the ass if your not carefull ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !