Michele

I know that loop well. And yes, it's strange, and difficult to comprehend unless someone's been there. Depression kills. It is ruthless, unending, and violent. It is not a personality disorder, nor a character flaw, but a medical condition which affects the brain. It can be treated but not cured. The breaking of the cycle is very very difficult, but it can be done. There is no cure for depression, but there are ways to treat it so it's not as devastating. I am deeply sorry that Josh couldn't break the cycle. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

For some reason, I keep reading his name wrong. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

They really looked like that...it cracked me up. And then to see those two make faces at me was just the icing. Keely, you really should get back in. It's so much fun. I've come to the conclusion that I will never be a graceful or really competent skydiver (as in turning tons of points, or going on anything larger than say a 20 way - and even that's wishful), but boy do I have fun. And Chris, you're right. Sometimes we forget what makes this sport just that extra bit special - the people who become our friends in this sport. Both Michael and Grant are really good people, and made my day yesterday just great. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

It was pouring cats and dogs yesterday, but I drove the 90 +/- miles to the DZ anyway. It was odd, walking onto a very wet, very quiet dropzone, somehow forlorn and rather dismal...but it was fun nonetheless. I got to spend the afternoon with Sparky and Scrumpot, and listened to stories and just relaxed. And then....Scrumpot went into the tunnel for the first time. He did much better than he expected; I was really impressed. His son, though - boy, Adam is a natural skydiver. He went into the tunnel for the intro package, and by the end of his 5 minutes he was turning - by himself! Great body position, great attitude, and he had a ton of fun. Then Sparky and Scrumpot got into the tunnel together, and after a bit of crashing into each other, they had fun. 'Twas fun, watching them in their orange suits in the fishbowl...more than once they reminded me of rowdy goldfish. Me? I got some time too, and some coaching. We had a ball, working on fall rate and 360's to grips (something I am horrible at), and then played some wall tag. Wall tag is fun!!! even though I crashed into the wall a few times. LOLOL! I turned my ankle badly as I was exiting once, though... I am hoping to get back out there tomorrow, depending upon my ankle. And if it's clear enough, I want to get some jumps!! I haven't gotten out of a plane since December 24 at Wrightbrothers skydiving in OR (great fun!!), so it's about time. But man, it was good to meet another dz.commer who I've spoken with for years, and now have a face and voice to go with it...if you're out at Perris tomorrow, come over and say hi! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Godspeed and blessed be, Josh. I only knew you through this site, but I wish you had reached out, even though I understand why you couldn't. I've been where you were, as recently as last year. My deepest, heartfelt condolences to all who knew and loved him. Damned depression anyway. Look. If anyone needs to talk, I'm here. I understand, because I've been on the edge of the abyss for so long. If you need to talk...please just reach out one more time. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

~Lies, and the lying liars who tell them. ~People who have no integrity, or whose integrity has been warped out of any sort of shape. ~Betrayal and users. ~Gossip and rumormongers. ~Believers of said gossip and rumors being mongered, despite them knowing the truth (or deliberately ignoring the truth). ~Superior attitudes unjustified by reality. ~Theives (espeically theives who once were friends). ~Intentional stupidity. ~Meanspiritedness and vindictiveness. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Let's see. The physicality isn't as important as how I feel when I'm with him. While I like someone taller rather than shorter, and broader shouldered rather than narrower, and good hygiene, it's more about who he is, not how he's built. I want someone who makes me feel special (and not in the short bus kinda way). A laugh that triggers others' laughter. A certain sparkle in his eyes, an almost naughty light, that lets me know I'm in for it later (in a good kinda way). Hands that are strong and gentle, eyes that are bright and kind, and a brain inside that is used often and with skill. Someone who doesn't try to change me (I'll do that on my own, thank you), and someone who recognizes both my strengths and weaknesses, and doesn't poke at my weaknesses just to see what will happen. And frankly, someone who doesn't need directions. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I usually don't like threads like this, but I'm enjoying this one. Thanks for making me think there may be a bit of hope left for me. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hi, Darius. I've been at work all day...sorry for the delayed reply. What comes to mind is ask Billy Fuulau, Mary Kay Latoureau's victim. That's a seriously damaged guy...and he was 13 (iirc) when the first encounter happened. As for me, yes, I do think there is damage done. I think we may not understand it as much as we do for female sexual abuse victims, because it's likely about as underreported a crime as any other. Because we don't have the understanding of the damage doesn't mean there isn't any/much done, it simply means we don't understand the long term damage done in male sexual assault victims. Very different circumstances. 16 is a far cry from 13, physically, mentally and emotionally. A girlfriend is a far cry from a teacher; the authority is not there, to start with, and the manipulation (which I am sure happened) from an authority figure is a significant violation. In your situation, perhaps, there wasn't anything problematic. But at 13 it's a far cry from your situation on many levels. Oh, I understood that from the first. I know what you're trying to say...I just don't agree with it. No, there are many people who will see it as you do. I happen to think that your perspective (or double standard, if you will) is seriously flawed. I don't care if a child sees having sex as a "badge of honor," they are still a child without the judgment to determine what is really a badge of honor or what could hurt them long term. For heaven's sake, long term for them is spring semester. They aren't even thinking about college or retirement or careers or whatever else constitutes long term...they haven't been on the planet long term yet, and their awareness of what is right and/or wrong is not fully formed. I don't think there's a difference. Whether or not there should be one or not doesn't factor into my thinking. It's a 27 y/o teacher with a 13 year old. End of story for me. Can you (or anyone) really articulate why there's a difference? If one thinks that a 13 year old is mature enough to make decisions about who they will have sex with, and understands all the attendent ramifications (AIDs, children, emotional involvement [which does happen, again referencing Billy Fuulau], and so on), then one can extrapolate that the child is fully capable of right and wrong, and when, having committed and been found guilty of a death penalty case, should be judged on that level of maturity and no allowances be made for that. We, as a society, do not look at it that way. We have separate courts for juviniles, and treat them accordingly (with rare exception). So if they're fully capable of consenting, then perhaps they are fully capable of being sentenced to death. I know that's rather extreme, but I am trying to draw a parallel about mentality and capable consent. I really am lost as to why this is not seen as a victim/criminal situation... And I'd also pose the question: do we as a society treat female child sexual abusers with the same ferocity as we do the male child sexual abusers? Do we have a societal double standard in this regard? Some on this thread have already stated they wouldn't...I know I would. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I wonder if that's because it's less reported. I mean, look at the title of this thread - there's a song titled that. And look at the first post as well as others - it's considered a badge of honor, I suppose, to get laid by a female teacher when you're 12, 13, 11 *(LeTourneau, iirc)....somehow a right of passage, in essence. What's sad is not understanding that the teacher is indeed a child molestor. We'd have ferociously strong reactions if it were a male teacher/female student. Or a male teacher/male student. Or a female teacher/female student. But simply because the roles are male student/female teacher, we allow it to be something other than child molestation. It's horrible, irrespective of genders. There is a significant abuse of both the teaching authority as well as the adult/child relationship....and it is indeed child molestation. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Friday. 2 pm. Be there. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Still, interesting confluence, I think...what's the old saying: "Birds of a feather flock together," right? I am wondering why we have an entire new thread about this...LOL, like someone said, I guess this is the obligatory bash the US thread to start the week off. Oh well...to each their own. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

??? Check out Wahhabist fundamentalists...there shall you find far more "truth" as to the motive of 9/11 then the rabid rantings of Professor Churchill. For more insight into OBL and AQ, one would suggest a google search, and begin to read his history and views, and why/how AQ was developed. Sad, really....but if this is what you believe, then that's your right. I don't believe this vitriolic, nihilistic commentary...but I also think it's an interesting read. To each their own... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Everyone had low jump numbers at some point...everyone. I am lucky that I have several mentors with thousands of jumps, who take the time to play with me...and always remind me that it's about fun, safety and fun...not about how good I am (or am not). If someone doesn't want to jump with me because of my jump numbers, then bafooey on them...they're missing out on a fun jump. Find someone to play with, to learn more with, and to be safe with. And then, when you have a ton of jumps under your belt, and can literally fly circles around a lowbie (like my mentors can - and have), bring them into the sky to play with, learn more with, and be safe with. This is supposed to be fun stuff...so go have some. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Congratulations! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Ah, I didn't realize you didn't search. I did, but it wasn't because of my parents (they're amazingly wonderful). I searched for purely personal reasons; I needed some medical history that the original paperwork didn't contain (or rather, was there but highly inaccurate, as I later discovered). My parents supported me and assisted me, and they are my parents, irrespective of those who placed me here; had they voiced reservations, or had great issues with it, likely I wouldn't have started searching. It does seem like things are going smoothly for you; again, congratulations. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Mike, as an adopted child, I know exactly what you're going through. And I've got to say, well done for having the courage to search and find. I searched and found, but it wasn't a "happy ending" per se...but that's all right, too...questions were answered, and that was a huge relief. My big brother searched and found after I had, and his had a "happy ending," as have many other people I know who've done the search. If you have any questions that I might be able to answer, don't hesitate to shoot them my way. And congratulations for having the temerity to search...it's never an easy decision, and it's always a rough adventure....but it does fill that weirdly empty place. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Darius, I can respect your opinion, but I don't agree. As Kris has said, if it's about choice, about a religious principle which is adhered to by personal choice and desire, but not because the women were told they would die should they not cover their heads (I think that was a Taliban rule, although I'm not sure...I know it's not likely in Iran), then I say "go for it." It's about choice. If there's punishment attached, there's no choice. Further, I'd say that in much of Islamic run countries, women are indeed treated as second class (or worse). They are not allowed to vote, to drive, to dress the way they choose, to educate themselves, and to pursue all those things that I, as an american woman, take for granted, like where to go unescorted by a male family member, choosing who to date, to be affiliated with (in regards to clubs, religion, et cetera), and many other things along those lines. There was a time not too long ago here in the US where women were second class citizens; we still see remnants of it in places (the "glass ceiling", unequal pay, and so forth). I am thankful for those who came before me and leveled the playing field as much as it has...the rest is indeed up to me. HOWEVER...simply because I enjoy the freedom to live my life my way, doesn't mean that it will be desired by others, in my culture or in other cultures. If someone chooses - without fear of punishment - a particular lifestyle, then good on them - go forward and be happy with your choice. Should a woman choose to wear a face covering because she chooses to out of respect for Islamic laws, similar to the Orthodox Jews here choosing to wear skirts only and walk on the Sabbath, fine. They are not threatened with dire physical harm should they decide to wear pants one day, and thus the observance of that religious law is sincere. And I would also add this...for someone to accede to a particular religious law to make someone else happy and not because they choose it is a form of pressurization to become the cultural norm. If one is going to be shunned because of whom they date, or what they wear - ostracized from their family and community - then that's pressure to conform, similar to those teens who believe that they will only get a date if they look like Britney Spears and wear silly clothes and undergo massive surgeries to adhere to a perceived standard. Just my .02... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I'd be more than happy to. Shoot me a pm, and we'll talk. As to the cost, the difference between renting it out (investment property) and personal living space is that if you're careful, the rent will cover the mortgage, and you will be able to have a renter pay the mortgage. Leverage is a great thing, especially considering the affordability index here at the moment... Like I said, I'll be more than happy to see what I can do for you. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Lew, hopefully you and Ed will be working on the 11th - it looks like I've got a few colleagues/friends who will be coming out to tandem...see you then? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I've put off going to a chiropractor for years. Like, my whole life. In my life, I've experienced lots of "trauma" to the body, many broken bones, many falls, car accidents and whatnot. Considering that I competed in gymnastics, figure skating, am a black belt, and a skydiver, I've been throwing my body around for my whole life....but I can't stand chiropractors. I received a gift certificate for 3 adjustment sessions followed by a massage (basically a month's worth of hour sessions from the Inner Sight Center) from a colleague because while I love my job, I get seriously stressed with it, and he had caused me great stress numerous times. It was a sweet Christmas present, but I didn't think I'd use it. For no real reason, I called this week and made an appointment... Today was the first session. I got a spinal adjustment, a neck adjustment, and a pelvic adjustment. I kid you not, I was cracking and popping all over. And what was really funny was that it didn't hurt at all, and that I felt tingling in my jaws right after the neck one. She explained that my neck was locked and what I was feeling was nerves finally getting the stimulus they needed (I tend to clench my jaws while I sleep...), and that she suspected that the jaw clenching would lessen over the next few weeks. The oddest part? I actually enjoyed it. I thought that was the weirdest part of all - I usually can't stand someone messing with my back - I don't even like massages. But I feel really good now... Just thought I'd share.

I have banged my fingers on the keyboard, but my opinion of the UN's worth (or lack thereof) did not come from the OFF. I've long held they were about as effective as a paper tiger, and they've done nothing recently to change my mind; rather, recent certain actions have supported my position wholly. As to the specific topic, what JDHill said is accurate. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

While I agree that Simon is indeed devil's spawn from darkest hell, the other 4 who own me are about as angelic as possible. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~