Michele

Hi, guys. Well, owie seems to be the operative word of the day. Owie, owie owie...only tylenol allowed now, none of the good stuff. Sigh. Oh well....they are still monitoring the pain level, and it seems that you can only do that when you are in pain...sadists, all of them (lol). And yes, recruiting all the way, but sadly no takers. I did tell the surgeon that he looked silly in a blue shower cap, and then plaintively asked him if he still liked me...we'll see if he does like me when I get the bandage changed tomorrow...lol...Airweenie scarface....should be some interesting storytelling..."No shit, there I was, flying under canopy, when the hawk just swooped me!..." Had to have an emergency intubation which hurts far more than my head at the moment - feels like a truck ran over me. Oh well, it should go away, too... Um, no one around to puff the pillows, and I didn't get the cats trained in time for it. But I will tell you, malted milk balls and the 4 floral arrangements and the balloon bouquet have been lifting my spirits (the balloon bouquet was really special and neat, from someone here. Thanks again - made me smile through the headache!), as well as all your messages and pm's - even those telling me to get lost. Which I shall do promptly... Hugs, thanks galore, and ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

That is bYtch, Lisa. And you are anything but a bitch. This I know. Other good news: I can still type, my head doesn't hurt as much as yesterday, although the rest of my body feels like a truck ran over it, and it's only 6 weeks til I jump again.... It's a gorgeous day, and it's good to be here! Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Ohhh, I wanna be a writer when I grow up. Pick me, pick me! I need a third job to pay for this stupid surgery, anyway! Oh, oh, pick me!!!!! Well done, Sebazz....rawk on!!!!! Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Tomorrow, Tuesday, at 9am I have to be at the hospital. At 11am, the +/- 90 minute surgery begins. I was at the Dr's today, last MRI (or whatever it was called) was done, and it's grown a bit. Because there is bone involvement and because of it's location, I found out that I will not be allowed pain meds - something about needing to monitor the pain level. I will be wearing a new skydiving t-shirt, though, so will have some courage from that. If I can jump out of a plane 2 1/2 miles in the air, I can handle the pain. Right???????? Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am "apprehensive" (the nurse's word for it. She didn't like me saying I am "fucking wiggy", I guess...)...almost as scared as I was going up for the 5 way. If you are so inclined, I could use a prayer or warm fuzzie if you should be willing to send it. Or just think loudly "You'll be fine, you silly goose!"... thanks, guys. Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Lisa, I had no idea I did that. I was so intent on doing everything exactly like Linda wanted it, I guess it got through! LOL...did I ever smile during the whole jump? Greg, no, you may not sit across from me. You were busy holding my hand and patting my knee. Skycat - yes, come to Perris. Lisa will be happy to pal around with you, and there are some gorgeous guys there, too. And if Lisa thinks I won't kill you in freefall, I'll jump with you, too! All y'all are really cool! I think all I need is some time in the air with other people, and I will be able to tame this wild fear thing. And as Nick stated in the plane: "Michele, you can't be Air Weenie unless you get into the air. If you don't, you're just Weenie".

Hey, Greg! It was so good to see you this weekend. And I am so glad I didn't kill you on our (ahem) 5 way! It was a really great day Saturday, wasn't it????? (and I ain't no sweetheart....but I managed to get through the fear, didn't I? LOL!) Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

There is nothing worse than a few broken ribs. I couldn't do a damned thing - even riding in the car was extremely painful - and turning corners were amazingly tough. Sending you cyber hugs, because even little itty bitty ones are intolerable. And yes, if the pain persists, get an x-ray. And if it's not a broken rib (although it sure sounds like one), you can start looking for other causes. Take care of yourself - or better yet, get somenoe to take care of you! Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Skybytch and I hook up - she has promised me that she will spend some time with me in the air, teaching me and playing with me. I am ready - this will be the last for a bit, and I want to make some good memories so I can dream about things as I heal...first jump will be a simple 2 way, practicing proximity and redocking, open high and play a bit. ECVZZ hooks up with a person to jump with, Nick by name, and they are working on something as well. Good to go, get geared up, and walk through the exit. All's well, and we hop aboard Shark, and get ready. All the typical fear sets in, but Lisa is there to distract me, and I do really want to fly through the morning sky......the spot is long, so we turn around...there is only one other jumper behind me and Lisa, and she reminds him to let us have lots of time, because there are no uppers. He agrees, and we get ready to leave. I climb out, look down at Lisa crouched in the door. Her tongue is sticking out at me, making me giggle, so I give the count...Ready, set, GO... I let go of the plane, and immediately see it flying away from me. I am watching it, and gently arch, and slide off the hill, and there is Lisa, smiling and docking. I smile back, and we play tag through the gentle morning sky, the promise of the day's heat just beginning to show. We dance through the air, and while we did not get all the re-docks we wanted to do, it is fun, and it is so amazing to see a friend in the air with me after all this time. I am startled - I check my alti about a million times, but we have lots of time, and so we play. Tag, turn, bump, all good. Time to turn and track, and so I do...and now slow down, check airspace, reach and tug...and somehow end up laying on my right side, staring at the sun over my left shoulder. I automatically release the pilot chute as I am rolling onto my right side. Fuck, I think, something will wrap around something...I feel the bag release as I drop over to my belly...well, more like legs-high-head-low..."this is really gonna hurt"...and am gently pulled to my feet. "Well, at least line twists...and I crane my head back, watching the opening, and nothing. Nothing. Not a darned problem in sight. Good deal, I know how lucky I am, but I have to fly back now...and I do. No winds, north to south landing pattern set by other jumpers, so I hang out over the hanger til about 300, and then just start to cruise in, following the lead of the landed jumpers. At about 75 feet, I have seen the spot where I will land, but here comes this other canopy, heading straight at me. I waggle my legs at him, and nothing. He's looking the other way, looking to where he is going to land. He is near me, above to the left and in front by about 25 feet, but turning now...left, fuck he's right there turning into me goddamn NO... bellowing like a stuck bull now "TOM, TOM WATCH OUT TOOOOOOOMMMM" as I frantically jig to the right, trying to avoid a collision...and do avoid it, although now I am not sure where I am landing, or how to get there, and now I have to flare, and I am a tad wigged at this point, and there is no wind, so I try to step it out but I am still moving too fast for my short little legs to move, and I end up PLFing and rolling it out. Onto my feet, I am shaking, and I say to Tom "That was a fucking bit close, don't you think?" to which he replies "How'd you get behind me"...I am daisy chaining my lines, thinking all the things I would like to say, but instead I say I wasn't behind you, you turned in front of me. He asks me if I am sure, and I smile and nod. I don't think I should say anything else to him, because I am really frightened. I ask Lisa how close she thought it was and she said "Close, but hey, not to worry, it's a large dz, get used to that", and we go back and debrief and I learn about rear risers and how to use them to stop my descent and get more room in case that happens again. ECVZZ (Greg) has noticed that I am not finishing my flare - that I am planing out beautifully, but that my hands didn't go below my ribs...which could be a problem. I don't recall that, and think perhaps it was because of the near collision. No matter, I am down, and it's all good. I meet VectorBoy and Lisa introduces me to IronMike and now it's time to get in the air again. Next jump comes along, and it's simply a 90 degree turn jump. 90 this way, back to Lisa, 90 the other, and back. Not gonna be hard - easy, light, nothing to really worry about. We get back on Shark, and Tom is there again. We give each other grief about canopy control and landing, but I think he gets the message...and now it's time to fly again. Same exit, except this time I am not looking at the plane as I leave, but at Lisa, and sort of flinch when I see her push out as I let go. I drift to the side, and hard arch, because I am not sure where she went...and now she's flying to me, and we match fall rates. I am getting better at that, and we are staying level. I turn, come back, turn again, no backsliding or sidesliding, just sweet, sharp turns on axis. We goof a little bit, grinning at each other and sticking out our tongues (which is really odd in freefall) and now it's 5K. Time to turn and track, so I do, but am chipping madly...it's 4 k, time to pull, and I am still chipping, but I pull anyway. The canopy opens as sweetly and gently as before, but as it opens, there is a slight turn to the right. No issue, pop the toggles, and check it out. My goggles have moved up my face, and are now resting right on a tender spot, and they are fogging up. Deciding to leave my goggles on, I dance, sashay across the floor of the desert, dancing in the bright sunshine, floating free of the earth for a few more moments, looking around. I play, chasing my shadow, following the day across the brown landscape, and remember the joy and laughter - the pure exuberence of a jump gone well, and a cruising canopy. I look into the distance, into the mountains, and oh how I will miss this...the world stretching before me, the magnitude of the landscape, the intensity which is life at 1500, the distance you can see up there even though you can't believe it exists when you are stuck on the ground, nose in a file, working day to day. The hugeness and splendor of the sky engulfs me, reminds me that there is far more to this world than I can see, or even begin to understand. The wonder and the awe of flying grips me, sears itself into my mind, and implants itself in my heart, threatening to be bigger - more - somehow than I can handle, and I lose myself in the blue...which is why I screw up the landing and slide in on my belly. I have forgotton to finish the flare, it seems, Greg was right, and my right elbow hurts a bit. Not bad, just enough to remind me that a broken arm right now is not something which I want. I vow to land the next one on my feet, because this really hurt my boobies, too...Lisa and I debrief, and it seems that she thinks I did as well as I thought I did. We discuss this flare thing, and I am not actually finishing it whatsoever. Lisa decides that all I need to do is add a third stage...finish it. I think, well, o.k., I can do that. She and I think maybe we will add Greg to a jump later; we decide that adding one person at a time is better than just going from a 2way to a 4way. The winds get a bit odd right after lunch, and although Lisa and I have manifested and are thinking of a tracking dive, I decide the winds were too much, and we come off the load. Soon thereafter, Nick and Greg do the same thing, and within 20 minutes, the students are put on hold. We watch some of the tandems come straight down, some other canopies having a hard time penetrating the wind, and we are satisfied that we made the right choice. And now things get, um, challenging. Linda H (our very own HotTamaly) comes sauntering over. It seems she and Lisa have been talking about me, and have decided that we should try something out. Linda sits on the grass, talking to me about my skydiving, about how I feel in the air, and that she's heard good things from Lisa...and that she wants to do a 5 way. Me, her, Lisa, Greg, and Nick. A five way. Four more people and me. In the air. At the same time. Holding hands or something. Maybe swinging my ass around the sky, for all I know. I know everyone is watching me, and I say "not bloody likely". Lisa laughs, and the cajoling begins. I finally agree, because it was Lisa and Linda and Nick, and Greg seems o.k. with it, too. I have never done anything like this. But o.k., if they think I can handle it, then perhaps I can. I grab a little of their faith in me, and begin to learn how to do this thing. We are going to go in the skyvan, and I am to face Nick, hold his gripper with my left hand and his chest strap in my right. We will exit, and spread out into a star. This is the handholding part. I've seen pictures of it, I know what it should look like, so I am not worried too much about this. Then Linda tells me we are going to do some thing called a rotating Spider. Excuse me? I kill all spiders I find. I am scared of those buggers....ugh. Well, I have agreed, might as well try to do this. Besides, maybe the winds won't let up today. Oh, my god, what the hell am I going to do???? We dirt dive for over an hour, Linda talking and teaching the whole time. She manifests us, and we go to the roll-y things, and lay on our bellies scooting around for a while. I know I am not gonna be able to do this. I will crash everything out, I will get lost, my brain will lock up. Who knows? I am listening to Linda, trying to quell the heart pounding, the sweat dripping. We stand up, it's time to get gear on. I get the suit on, and struggle with the rig. I feel like a turtle putting on it's shell, and I am shaking so badly I can't get my arms through the straps. I am dripping with sweat. I can't do this. I get everything together, and we get to the mock-up. We approach it, and for the first time, despite practicing it forever, I actually realize that I will have to back up to the skyvan's open floor and jump off backwards. Backwards. Oh fuck me now. Backwards. Without looking. Bottom first. Aw, man, I can't do that. No, please, kids, can we wait, can we change this? How about another two way, Lisa? I'll buy the jump, o.k.? Please? My palms are sweaty, and my knees are literally knocking together. Time to load. Well, I'll get in the plane. I may not get out, but I will get in. I crawl in, and sit down between Lisa and Greg. We take off, and as the wheels leave the runway, my heart threatens to get out and play on the floor. Or maybe my lunch will reappear. The entire ride to altitude I am trying to figure out an excuse. I can't breathe, I am nearly in tears, I simply am Airweenie, and I can't do this. Any excuse. I realize that I can't chicken out. I'll get pulled out the door like a sack of potatoes, but I can't back out. I trust Lisa and Linda, and I know Nick is a good jumper. Greg, having the same number of jumps as me, is on the other side of the formation. I don't think I could kill him, and the others can protect themselves (and Greg) from me. I hope. Shit, the door is open. 12.5K. Out goes the 15 way, and we take our positions. I look at Nick, take my grips, watch my knuckles turn white, and start backing to the door. Relax. Breathe. Look at Linda, and try to smile, although it is more like a rictus grin than a smile. Ready breathe set ohmygod go hop out.... And we are upside down. Now sideways. I have bumped crotches with several people now. Upside down, the world goes whirling around like a gyroscope. I can't tell what's happening, although I know we are all linked and headdown, 10 legs waving in the air like a standing rib roast. And now right side up, now on our side...a great big cluster of flailing appendages, and flying bodies. I am getting whacked around, and this is not the fun Linda promised. I am terrified. Linda lets go of me, and now I clutch Nick - and it's just me and him. I don't know where anyone else is. I am staring at him - eye contact being very important, says Linda. Nick gets his hand on my other gripper, and now I switch my clutch from his chest strap to his gripper. I have a hold on him - phew, o.k., I'm safe...until I see his eyes. They are flicking back and forth, rolled as far as they can go up...and then he looks at me, and immediately looks back up, and side to side. I figure he's spotted someone, so I look up, too, to see what he sees....who moved the ground? Why is it brown over my head? Where's the blue? Oh, shit, where is the goddam sky??????? As the knowledge dawns on me that I AM HEAD DOWN!!!!, Nick throws his hips back and I arch, hard. Really hard. As hard as I can. And we somehow come rightside up, stable, and in a two-way. And I am still clutching him like he can save me or something. I check my altimeter, and we are at 8. The plan was that if it all went to hell, Lisa was to find me, Linda was to find Greg, and Nick was to hang out and come in when he could. I am not letting go of Nick, though, so they will have to find me and him. I finally see Lisa, cruising over, and as she appears over my shoulder, she grabs Nicks arm, and wrenches my hand off his gripper. I start sinking on them, so correct the problem. We are now level, and Lisa mouths "relax" at me. I try to smile, and breathe, but I am thinking "relax? Aw shit, did you see me headdown????". I am watching the alti, because I still don't know where Greg and Linda are. Finally I see them approaching us from underneath at 5.5, and I flap my hands at them - shoo, go away, it's time to break off, shoo, don't come up, I'll kick someone or something! 5, and now Nick and Lisa let go of me. 180 turn which I overdo. I look to see where Nick is, and I am not at right angles to him...instead of 90 degrees, I am more like 65...so I correct, and then track away, shorter than I had planned, but I couldn't see anyone, so as I slow down I reach and pull. I get the canopy over my head, it's diving and going to the right, so I get the toggles in my hand and do like 4 controlability checks, because that was weird. I turn to the dz - we are really far away, so I start to trek back. I see the truck on it's way, hauling ass, and I realize he's coming for me. Which means I am really way off. So I see where I am going to land, and it looks like I will be about 10 feet shy of the berm, give or take about 10 feet...I understand that I really need to stop this canopy quickly, because I don't feel like crashing again, and I get ready, and wait, flare smooth, gently, no planing, and all the way down, all the way down...and set it down on my toes, no steps. I am about 5 feet away from a 6 foot berm. The truck comes pulling up, and I say to Tim "a perfect landing, and no-one to see it", and he says "I saw it. Nicely done. How come you don't land like that at the DZ?"... We pick Lisa up, and as she climbs in, I say "O.K., now I know what a funnelled exit is." She asks how I liked it, and I said "I'm mad. I want to go and do it right. But somehow, it was fun, too. Isn't that weird?"..."No, Michele, that's skydiving" and laughs her laugh, and we get back. She knows I am through for the day, and knows that I am through for the next few months. But I have learned so much from her, and Linda, and Nick and Greg. This was, likely, the best day for me on the DZ since I graduated AFF (and yes, the beer was bought and paid). I can accept the temporary darkness upcoming more easily now - for I have the memories of today dancing through my mind; memories of friends, laughter, moving through fear and finding freedom on the other side. I have memories of grass fights, water fights, and quiet moments; of hurtling through the blue, finding myself whole and perfect, if only in that special single moment; of a sunsplashed path laid out before me, beckoning me onward under a brilliant blue sky. The enormity that is my playground will wait, and I will return. And I will fly soon. Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Hey, Lawndart? You got your soft opening three times, despite all my attempts to screw it up.....deploying without fully stopping from a track...deploying while on my side, right side toward the ground staring at the sun pretty much right above me... deploying while chipping.... More later in the "story", but suffice it to say I am duly impressed with the Spectre...and I swear, I put my guardian angels through the roof this weekend... Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

1. Um, no. 2. I don't think I'll be kissing a girl. Any male volunteers? 3. I will be renting a Spectre 230....should be soft enough... 4. Unless I utterly screw up, I won't be surfing anything, let alone carving it into a windblade... So, a nice soft opening it is.....! Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Ah, you seem to have the makings of a good lawyer - don't add to the confusion with factual evidence not pertinent to the immediate situation at hand. If the other guy can't figure out to ask for it, then obviously they didn't want the info in the first place....!!!!.... Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

I promise I will do a "Lawndart" jump...duly reported when I come home Sunday....dunno what it will be, but it'll be something!

The sky is calling, and so I answer: "WHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!" I will be able to jump tomorrow - Saturday - anyone else gonna come play in the sky? Look me up if you're at Perris. If not, play in your piece of the blue, and enjoy yourself! Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Hey, Tina! Way too cool...I was being facetious, but hey, now I can get the rulebook! Thanks! I can answer "yup" to both those questions. So I suppose I am, among other things (both paid and unpaid), I am also a writer!

If I am not greatly mistaken, I will be making the acquaintence of ECVZZ, and I just got off the phone with Skybytch, who has promised to take me up and "throw me around the sky"....I may, in fact, prefer solos!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL... Thanks, Wildblue...and I always ask. And then ask some more, and then really get into asking. It does drive some people nucking futz...... Have a great and safe weekend... Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Hi, guys... I can only speak for myself, but I AM LISTENING and listening very hard. I appreciate the information and advice on these boards, and realize that the people posting their stories are doing so for a reason - for my/our benefit. So thanks, for those who have told their stories, and those who will have stories to tell. My ass may just be the one you teach and save. Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

O.k., o.k, Clay. You have not spoken to deaf ears...I have listened, and heard...and you're right - I suppose I should get better on my belly, so that is what I will do this weekend...while I may not wait until jump ## 563 or whatever, you are correct - I need more time learning the basics. After all, safety is the highest priority. I was just hoping to avoid another 4 solos...but hey, they can be fun, too... Have a ball this weekend, everyone be safe! Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

What's really funny is that I had no idea about any of that. Truth? Until my experience on DZ.com, I had not ever even considered myself a writer (and not sure I do now, either)...and had not written anything which I would consider of publishing value... as for them making the rules, too true. But I suppose to play their game, I have to follow their rules...but where can I buy the "rulebook"? LOL Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

HI, Chuck *** You recall correctly, Skymonkey. And I sent the same stuff to Skydive Mag, but it was kicked back for the same reason. Neither mag understands that a) while there are a lot of people here, I doubt they all read my stuff, and b) some jumpers don't come here...sigh... Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Hi, Gale - First, congratulations on making it out the door from 10,000! What an accomplishment! And great job on the landing! As to your fear.... ..... ..... As most everyone here can tell you, I am Airweenie for a reason. I remember one time, looking at the ground, and the thought flew through my head that "this shit'll kill me"...and then getting back into the dive, because that was what I had to do. No choice, right? I have not cried because of being so scared, but I have had to sit down after a landing because my legs were shaking so hard I figured I'd end up on my ass in any event. I can recall times where I was so spaced that it took a while for me to figure out how to get my lines wrapped up. I have taken myself off manifest because I have lost my breath before getting on the plane. I take a long time gearing up because my hands and legs shake, making it hard to get straps and whatnot dealt with. I have battled my car just to keep it pointed down the road, and not using all those exits lining my 84 mile drive, each one beckoning "safety here, just turn around"...yeah, Gale, I totally understand. But some of the best advice I was ever given was don't look down, and smile like hell. Even if no-one is near to see you smile, do it. Smile like God was watching. Kinda like this

Long hard road, Lisa...both you and David should be incredibly proud of each other - you both done good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations! Hugs, ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

O.K., since this weekend will be the last time I can play in the sky until I'm all healed from surgery, I wanted to try something new. As it goes right now, I fall straight down on my belly, with the occasional 360, front and back flip. But Saturday, I want to try to sit. Or something. Recline, perhaps. I am still in rental gear, so I am not certain of the safety of trying to sit. Of course, I am not sure how to even start learning it. Can someone give me a clue or two (or 37?)? And what to look for in gear, so as to make sure I am not using something which will do soemthing unexpected? And of course I return to belly flying to pull, right? See? I don't know what I'm doing. Save a newbie, post advice!

LOL! Lummy, that is priceless. Am printing it out and sending it to a hardworking Irish jewish Mom I know right now! Thanks for the Wednesday giggle! Ciels and pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~

Hi, Bill.... The situation must occur first, and then lawsuits brought, and the long, tedious (or not so long) process of bringing it in front of the Supreme Court before they can rule/decide on it. The processes have been started, and the climb up the stairs has begun. Eventually it will be brought before the Court - under just which petitioner's name I don't know - and will be heard in the right place. Of that I am confident. If you are referring to the '93 bombing of the WTC, there really wasn't any actual Constitutional challenges brought before the SC (unless I am mistaken - which has been known to happen!

That was cute, and appropos for a Wednesday morning! Thanks, Lindsey! Ciels and Pinks- Michele Life is what you make it; always was, always will be. ~Grandma Moses~