Jessica
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Everything posted by Jessica
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Um, no. DUH. Why would you want to? It's the stuff of legends baby, the stuff of LEGENDS.
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ROTFL! That was me! I'm sorry! My God that's funny though!!!
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Well I'm pissed off when people bitch about my right to pulp-free, calcium fortified orange juice! It's orange JUICE not orange CHUNKS or orange BITS or orange PIECES okay? DAMN!!!!!!! (When I was a kid I had to carefully strain every glass of orange juice...if there was a single orange particle in the glass, I'd gag. It's funny how you can train the gag reflex as you get older, though.)
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Well, I would totally be happy to, but I have no pictures handy. Sorreeee! But it would be one that doesn't look like f***ing her from behind would kill her.
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Bleah, she looks like a stick figure. If you're gonna show an ass, show an ASS for God's sake. *scrolling back up to the male butts*
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Then thank God I passed out before the Vicodin got passed around.
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Yes, they are catlike and soulful at the same time. Now post your f***ing pictures.
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Author! Author! *raising beer glass*
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Dammit Dave, didn't your mama teach you not to take advantage of women in alcoholic comas?!
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Yep, you did, you butt head... Boy, I bet I'm fun to kiss nowadays...I bet my mouth tastes shower-fresh...mmm Oh, sorry, that was off-topic.
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Through trial and error, I've learned that Coke with no ice gets you out of bed and to IHOP, where everything becomes OK.
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Mmm, and if you like older women with bottle-red hair and predatory green eyes, we're in business. So to speak. Hee hee hee!!!!!
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Right. Perpetual lechery. I hit 25, and it was alllllll over.
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It really wasn't that hard for me...I just slapped on a patch every morning for two weeks, and I didn't even really want a cigarette. I think you have to be mentally ready, though. I know I was.
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"Again"? Please. Parents, lock up your sons....
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Eh? What's that? Sounds dirty.
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You little tease!!!
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Yes, we need to have a panel discussion on whether we'll be sleeping with you that night.
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Me too Tom, HELL FUCKING YEAH. I quit on Jan. 4. No looking back. It's the best favor I ever did for myself.
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Don't you have Google young man?! Heh! 1 1/2 oz. Kahlúa 1 1/2 oz. vodka 1 1/2 oz. Sprite, or 7-up Fill a rocks glass with ice. Add the Kahlúa first, then slowly pour in the vodka, and then the top it off with Sprite. (The key is to try to keep it layered.) Use two straws to suck it all down at once.
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Oh, if you keep the straw in the right place, it tastes like Sprite and Kalhua!! MMMMM!!! Let the straw slip.... *ominous music*
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You don't need to know what's in it. Just remember: keep the straw on the bottom of the glass as you suck, and you might not vomit. Hee hee! I'm pretty much exclusively a beer-drinkin' chick these days, with the occasional margarita bender.
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I adhere to a strict don't ask-don't tell policy.
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I've been asked to join in a few times by couples...but it always seemed too weird. I certainly haven't ruled it out, though. The idea intrigues me. But I sure as hell wouldn't do it with anyone I loved. Heh, and while I haven't had the dictionary definition of a "threesome," that doesn't mean I haven't done some bad, bad things.
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Advice from my dad: "Don't you ever, EVER sit around waiting for a boy to call you." And I haven't.