sharimcm

I say it's a Triathalon... Santa's cool like me, and that's what I jump. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

After a five month layoff, I went back to the DZ I used to jump at, and jumped for the price of the jump ticket, and that's it. He told me if I wanted someone to go with me, he'd send someone up. I did fine... It's now been almost four months since my last jump, and the DZ I did my "recurrency" jump at last time is now closed. Dammit! I'll actually have to pay for it now... Or trade. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

I've had that joke sitting in my "joke" folder in my e-mail for about three years. I just couldn't help myself. I love it!

I can't help myself on this one... I do apologize in advance... And Dave, you're not an asshole... This guy is flying down the road and he comes over the top of a bridge. Sure enough, on the other side there is sitting a cop with a radar gun. The cop pulls the guy over, walks up to the car and asks, "What's the hurry?" The guy replies, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "What do you do?" The guy responds, "Well, I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop says, "WHAT? A rectum stretcher? What's a rectum stretcher do?" The guy says, "Well, I start with one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then work until I can get both hands in there, and then I slowly stretch it until it's about six feet wide." The cop asks, "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?" The guy replies, "You give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge." "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Now those are nice... Thank you. And like I said before, all natural. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Nope. Sorry. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

That's Jello Jay..one kick-ass party boy. The girls love him 'cause he snuggles with 'em so well.... And the guy on the left side is a sweetheart too. That's popsjumper. One hell of a... Well, we'll leave it at that. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Next time my hand will not be around your waist... It'll be lower and more around to the front... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

No, no, no.. I like this one... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Nice avatar lisamarie! You're one hot mamma youself! I have a great pic of you on the stripper pole! "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

By the way, they are 100% natural. No implants here! "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

I'm sober... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Well, since she's in Colorado, and I'm in Texas... Hmm.. Maybe I can work something out... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

my 2 cents Hey I got some... cents... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Ok, here's a new pic for the thread... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

So, does this mean you won't let me drive home after the beer light goes on and I partake in the drinking activities at the DZ? Dammit... I guess I'll be having to crash at the pilot's apartment (like he'd mind)... or the upcoming videographer's place (Stan)(like he'd mind either)... or the DZO's (and his wife's) house (i'm sure they'd mind)... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Thanks guys. Looks like I'll be doing a recurrency jump. I blame my lapse in jumping on bad weather/high winds days, getting the flu, then bronchitis, losing my job, moving to Arizona, moving back to Texas, my car needing repairs, my DZ being open only on the weekends and Wednesdays, and a 2 hour + drive... Other than all that, I would have been there every weekend... Oh, and now the reserve needs repacked... today... Looks like I won't be jumping this weekend either. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

I think it looks pretty sexy both ways... I personally like longer hair... As long as the man's hair is shorter than mine, I'm OK with it. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Yes, I am trying to find the information on the USPA website, but obviously I am not looking in the right place. I wanted to find out how many days you can go without making a jump before having to do a coach jump or recurrency jump. I haven't fallen out of any planes since August.... Is it 30 days? 90 days? Can someone point me in the right direction? I need to know how much dough to take to the DZ this weekend! Any help? "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

It was only after another boogie I went to where Jay S. said... "Hey girl. Wow. I think the last time I saw you, you were nekkid." Thanks Jay. (Yeah, I know, I wasn't blusing that day either) Then, I had to explain what really happened that day... Here's a pic. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Since everyone at The Farm saw this back in August (I think), and the pic has been posted in several other threads, here's another... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

I think I am so much prettier than her! But, other's may disagree. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Wow... I've found some weird shit on ebay, but that steals the cake... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

Hmm.. It's about 80-something here in Texas.. I think I'll just stay and jump here. I love jumping in the winter... in Texas that is. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

I'm thinking 'bout it. I really don't want to drive the 110 miles to my DZ, then the 110 back on the day that EVERYONE will be going back home... But, it's been almost three months since I've been in the air... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself