skreamer

I bet thats what you told Harry....

Dang mah maw - I done thunk she were a lezzerbian, now i knows it.....

Damn, but you promised I'd get a turn - YOU PROMISED!!!!

Sure, look where it got you Clay! (hey, at least your boobies are real...)

Even better chuck it in the neighbour's pool! (even better still, chuck the neighbour's cat in the neighbour's pool!!! then go back the next day to ask if you can have your brick back....) /s

Aaaah shit, this means I'll have to stay logged in tomorrow as well... How the hell do I explain to my girlfriend that I can't see her because I am protecting my cyber bottom from you two ram-raiders??? OK, you go home to wifey, but you do realize you are suffering from Helsinki Syndrome, don't you bitch?

Hey, Mike - you still jumping up on the desk at work, trying to explain skydiving to your whuffo colleagues? I've met quite a few skydivers who have girlfriends who started with them (or as a result of them?) and then stopped. Haven't really met many (still jumping) skydiver chicks with non-jumping partners. /s

Dear kettle Pathetic!! The pot

So if my sweetie came home one day to find me handcuffed in a swing with one of those red ball gags in my mouth, blindfolded, with matching red hand prints from slapping on my ass, he would storm off to the kitchen to find the 5 gallon jug of Kama Sutra oil and then change into his Latex outfit. Upon returning, he would pull my latex buddies, electrical toys and aligator clips from the drawer, attaching one set of electrodes to Sis's piercings and the other to the sheep tied to the bedpost. He'd crank on the juices and start towards Skreamer, who was tied over a sawhorse in the corner, moaning around his own ball gag, trying to mumble something about ethical treatment of sheep. His muffled cries were useless, because Sis's sweety had already pull started the gas motor on the giant dildo and was heading in Skreamers general direction. At that very moment Skreamer managed to get the ball gag out of his mouth and yell, "Bloody hell! At least use some KY, you bastard!" Disliking the tone of Skreamer's voice, Freaksis liberally coats her baby's gas-powered dildo with Tabasco instead, then he proceeds to wreck the "Human Habitrail" After some initial vocal objections, Skreamer actually started to enjoy the burning sensation. Then the Dildo ran out of gas. Only then did her sweety notice poor Sis hanging in the swing, electrodes attached, and feeling a bit lonley. So he re-inserted Skeamer's ball gag, duct-taped it in securely this time, before walking over to Freaksis and turning up the juice while using his tongue to gently prise Clay's dead gerbil Harry from Justin's bum, then Sis gently inserted her foot so far up Justin's ass that only the top of her riding boot (with spur!!) was showing... But, what was this?? Harry the Gerbil wasn't dead, he'd just been knocked out by the toxic fumes that inhabit Justin's nether regions (caused by lots of frequent flyer miles clocked up by various other rodents, household utilities and various vegetables). So, Harry wakes up and decides to exact revenge on his pimp/owner Clay (who has always suffered from penis envy since Harry has a bigger dick than him). So Harry grabs ahold of Clay and Get's his widdle head wipped off!!! Then Clay pulls little scampering Harry, Jr. from a box. He heads over to Skreamer, mumbling, "I reckon its yer turn, Mr. Habitrail." To Skreamer's dismay, "Harry, Jr." was a racoon. No matter. Clay in the meantime was trying on a pair of Sis's underwear - scarily the bra was a little too tight, luckily the panties were crotchless, so leaning over to Justin, he.... whispers, "Watch me choke Skreamer." Then he removes Skreamer's ball gag, hands it to Freaksis, who wouldn't wear Clay's underwear no matter how much she was paid. With a glint in his eye, Clay advances on Skreamer and gives him a beer, before refuelling the giant gas powered dildo, coating it in sulphuric acid and broken glass and ramming it up Justin, who groaned in ecstacy and muttered 'Harry, you've come back - you DO love me...'. Then getting bored Sis grabbed hold of Clay and dragged him over to the ....

No, you are too scared to leave work, because you don't know what will have happened to your *character* by the time you get home.... Bwaaahahahahahahaha

So if my sweetie came home one day to find me handcuffed in a swing with one of those red ball gags in my mouth, blindfolded, with matching red hand prints from slapping on my ass, he would storm off to the kitchen to find the 5 gallon jug of Kama Sutra oil and then change into his Latex outfit. Upon returning, he would pull my latex buddies, electrical toys and aligator clips from the drawer, attaching one set of electrodes to Sis's piercings and the other to the sheep tied to the bedpost. He'd crank on the juices and start towards Skreamer, who was tied over a sawhorse in the corner, moaning around his own ball gag, trying to mumble something about ethical treatment of sheep. His muffled cries were useless, because Sis's sweety had already pull started the gas motor on the giant dildo and was heading in Skreamers general direction. At that very moment Skreamer managed to get the ball gag out of his mouth and yell, "Bloody hell! At least use some KY, you bastard!" Disliking the tone of Skreamer's voice, Freaksis liberally coats her baby's gas-powered dildo with Tabasco instead, then he proceeds to wreck the "Human Habitrail" After some initial vocal objections, Skreamer actually started to enjoy the burning sensation. Then the Dildo ran out of gas. Only then did her sweety notice poor Sis hanging in the swing, electrodes attached, and feeling a bit lonley. So he re-inserted Skeamer's ball gag, duct-taped it in securely this time, before walking over to Freaksis and turning up the juice while using his tongue to gently prise Clay's dead gerbil Harry from Justin's bum, then Sis gently inserted her foot so far up Justin's ass that only the top of her riding boot (with spur!!) was showing... But, what was this?? Harry the Gerbil wasn't dead, he'd just been knocked out by the toxic fumes that inhabit Justin's nether regions (caused by lots of frequent flyer miles clocked up by various other rodents, household utilities and various vegetables). So, Harry wakes up and decides to exact revenge on his pimp/owner Clay (who has always suffered from penis envy since Harry has a bigger dick than him). So Harry grabs ahold of Clay and Get's his widdle head wipped off!!! Then Clay pulls little scampering Harry, Jr. from a box. He heads over to Skreamer, mumbling, "I reckon its yer turn, Mr. Habitrail." To Skreamer's dismay, "Harry, Jr." was a racoon. No matter. Clay in the meantime was trying on a pair of Sis's underwear - scarily the bra was a little too tight, luckily the panties were crotchless, so leaning over to Justin, he....

LMFAO Poor Harry from Justin's ass to getting decapitated - not a good day....

My rigger here in the UK had never repacked a reserve in a Wings before. She really raved about it, I can't remember the technical details, but she really likes the way the reserve is stowed.

Your mothers!!!

So if my sweetie came home one day to find me handcuffed in a swing with one of those red ball gags in my mouth, blindfolded, with matching red hand prints from slapping on my ass, he would storm off to the kitchen to find the 5 gallon jug of Kama Sutra oil and then change into his Latex outfit. Upon returning, he would pull my latex buddies, electrical toys and aligator clips from the drawer, attaching one set of electrodes to Sis's piercings and the other to the sheep tied to the bedpost. He'd crank on the juices and start towards Skreamer, who was tied over a sawhorse in the corner, moaning around his own ball gag, trying to mumble something about ethical treatment of sheep. His muffled cries were useless, because Sis's sweety had already pull started the gas motor on the giant dildo and was heading in Skreamers general direction. At that very moment Skreamer managed to get the ball gag out of his mouth and yell, "Bloody hell! At least use some KY, you bastard!" Disliking the tone of Skreamer's voice, Freaksis liberally coats her baby's gas-powered dildo with Tabasco instead, then he proceeds to wreck the "Human Habitrail" After some initial vocal objections, Skreamer actually started to enjoy the burning sensation. Then the Dildo ran out of gas. Only then did her sweety notice poor Sis hanging in the swing, electrodes attached, and feeling a bit lonley...... So he re-inserted Skeamer's ball gag, duct-taped it in securely this time, before walking over to Freaksis and turning up the juice while using his tongue to gently prise Clay's dead gerbil Harry from Justin's bum, then Sis gently inserted her foot so far up Justin's ass that only the top of her riding boot (with spur!!) was showing! But, what was this?? Harry the Gerbil wasn't dead, he'd just been knocked out by the toxic fumes that inhabit Justin's nether regions (caused by lots of frequent flyer miles clocked up by various other rodents, household utilities and various vegetables). So, Harry wakes up and decides to exact revenge on his pimp/owner Clay (who has always suffered from penis envy since Harry has a bigger dick than him). So Harry grabs ahold of Clay and...

So if my sweetie came home one day to find me handcuffed in a swing with one of those red ball gags in my mouth, blindfolded, with matching red hand prints from slapping on my ass, he would storm off to the kitchen to find the 5 gallon jug of Kama Sutra oil and then change into his Latex outfit. Upon returning, he would pull my latex buddies, electrical toys and aligator clips from the drawer, attaching one set of electrodes to Sis's piercings and the other to the sheep tied to the bedpost. He'd crank on the juices and start towards Skreamer, who was tied over a sawhorse in the corner, moaning around his own ball gag, trying to mumble something about ethical treatment of sheep. His muffled cries were useless, because Sis's sweety had already pull started the gas motor on the giant dildo and was heading in Skreamers general direction. At that very moment Skreamer managed to get the ball gag out of his mouth and yell, "Bloody hell! At least use some KY, you bastard!" Disliking the tone of Skreamer's voice, Freaksis liberally coats her baby's gas-powered dildo with Tabasco instead, then he proceeds to wreck the "Human Habitrail" After some initial vocal objections, Skreamer actually started to enjoy the burning sensation. Then the Dildo ran out of gas. Only then did her sweety notice poor Sis hanging in the swing, electrodes attached, and feeling a bit lonley...... So he re-inserted Skeamer's ball gag, duct-taped it in securely this time, before walking over to Freaksis and turning up the juice while using his tongue to gently prise Clay's dead gerbil Harry from Justin's bum, then Sis gently inserted her foot so far up Justin's ass that only the top of her riding boot (with spur!!) was showing...

Tabasco? I've got the chilis, lets get cooking! Aah, yet another thread hijacked and ravaged beyond saving....

Dude, I have heard about how the turkey gets *stuffed* at the Fields' home!!! (Oh, and here's a tip, the creamy *dip* he serves with snacks, you might want to avoid that too.....)

Most excellent - a chick fight! (My money is on Justin getting bitch-Slappied). On the bell come out with your handbags swinging!

WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY??? YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP COS I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING SINCE I WENT SKYDIVING WITH A COLD.... /S PS WANNA BUY A FROG?

And you're doing it in the middle of winter??? Brrrrr! (as for you and Sangiro both being tail-gunners, well I think we'll let that one slide - too easy! )

So, Lisa, you standing for election to the board of the USPA anytime soon?

Of course for Clay's gerbil to geek the camera, you'd have to spread YOUR cheeks!

They have special people to respond to your special problems! If you fancy a week in the UK (shit food, worse weather) just say the word (and I'll go somewhere else that week! ). /s PS notice how Clay has a next to EVERY single post? (all 3000 of them)

Uh, Justin and Clay have quite a lot of experience in the 'cameras strapped to butts' dept, ask them... Back to the topic though - it is probably a good idea. Here in the UK you need 200 jumps and CCI (DZO) permission before you can strap on a camera (to your head, Justin, to your head). Apart from jump numbers I don't know how you could regulate this. Also, you might be a good camera flyer but shit at editing videos, ie good camera flying doesn't necassarily equal good video. Also, would you have different camera licenses for the different disciplines, eg FS, tandems, AFF, photography? People will probably be very against any regulations, but then again if you look at some of the absolute shite videos that tandem luggage get ripped off with, maybe it isn't such a bad idea. Will