Nataly

Is it in Seattle?

First off, happy turkey day to all you yanks!! I am grateful that 13 years of working my ass off now means I'm able to buy a little slice of heaven... Just put a cheeky offer on a place and I'm eagerly awaiting to see if it's accepted. Been a really tough but also a pretty amazing year

Happy to drive with the wheel on the left or the right - as long as it's got a stick I'm happy

Dude, I just got OUT of a long-distance relationship!!! It's funny... I found it quite sad to hear how devastated he was... Ok, people generally make a big show of things in his culture so ya gotta take everything with a grain of salt... But I did get the impression that he was brainwashed from birth to think one's only purpose in life is to get married and have children... Like somehow life is not worth living if you don't get hitched and pro-create... Anyway, if it's the case that he will have to get married whether he finds The One or not, I can understand his desperation to keep someone he *does* like even if it's not perfect... It certainly beats being stuck with someone you hate for the rest of your life!!! Come to think of it, I think our culture brainwashes us with a lot of the same nonsense!! Ha ha!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I'm afraid that intelligence has little to do with whether a person went to university or not... Sure, university helps you to practise and develop your critical-thinking skills... But so do a lot of things in life. As for valuing learning... Well, again, there are many different ways to learn... I know people who never went to a big institution to learn what they know and yet they still manage to be *very* intelligent and well-informed... University is great, but if I may play the devil's advocate, it's also a big industry that makes a hell of a lot of money by spoon-feeding the young ellite a bunch of pre-digested information... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Cheeky monkey!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Agree with everything you just said. I think trial separations are for people who don't want to admit that it's already over... (And in this case I am guilty as charged ) Edited: too much rambling... Short version is I called to say I wouldn't be calling anymore (!). Would be nice if we managed to stay friends but everything will be fine either way - life lives on

+1 I think TriGirl wrote a really great post also. And thinking back on it I've realised I'm spending a hell of a lot of energy telling him again and again why it's not working... This is hard for two reasons: 1) I'm not entirely convinced I made the right decision and 2) he comes up with new arguments each time which I need to counter... Anyway, everything that needed to be said has been said by now, so really the only thing left is to cease all communication (at least temporarily). Seems like what we both need in order to move on. If we remain friends over the long term, great. If not, well, by that point it won't matter as we will have naturally moved on anyway. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Aahh... The facebook breakup... Classy... My facebook account doesn't have my relationship status or where I live or anything personal like that... What's the point? The people who know me well enough to care about that sort of shite already know it anyway! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Dude, that is soooooo true!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I've always been quite bad at moving on... I have been fortunate to date really lovely guys, and as a result I find it difficult to remind myself of the reasons it's not working because I keep thinking "but he's just so damned nice/loveable/sweet/kind" et cetera. I know this is bad... The last thing I want is to string someone along. I have been 100% honest about why it's not working for me, and his response is always that he loves me regardless and he doesn't want to lose me. I keep repeating the same answer but inside part of me can't help thinking: "but he's just *such* a lovely guy"... Hmmm... Ditto on the mutual break-up, whoever said that... Come to think of it I *did* have 1 nice split but not sure it counts because we only briefly dated and things were rather platonic from the start. No chemistry, so breaking up wasn't a big deal - we are still good friends. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

If there is, please tell me 'cause I seem to have been doing it it wrong all these years!!! I've tried ceasing all communications - painful for me. I've tried the "it's not you, it's me" routine - painful for him because it's clearly a load of bollocks and everyone knows it. I've tried remaining friends (with benefits, obviously) - OMG, BAD idea! I've tried the yoyo break-up & get back together - bad, bad, good, then bad. Haven't tried being a bitch but seems bad. Do share if you've had a "nice" and successful break-up... I broke up with my latest about a month ago after almost a year of long-distance... Yet I just can't *quite* let him go because he's a persistent little bugger and damn it I melt every time he sends me an oh-so-sweet text... Damn him! Damn him and his charming ways!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Meh... Many things that are bad for you are good for morale, so in small doses I guess it's ok "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

From what I understood, he protected the money he was earning... What is the problem??? I mean, the *way* he announced the divorce and the unfaithfulness, well that just makes him a sack of shit... But I still don't get why he owed you anything??? Unless I missread and he took *your* money as well - that would be unacceptable. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

(slaps forehead) yes, of course - don't know what I was thinking! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I didn't say that - didn't even imply it. I was merely pointing out that after a break-up it's pretty normal to say and/or do some pretty dumb shit... We've probably all heard some and we've probably all SAID some ourselves!! That is all. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Most people, if they had to guess, would probably mistake me for an american. More clever people might pick up I have lived in the UK (but would still likely think I'm a yank since I dont say "oot and aboot" or "eh"). ETA - now can we get back to the very important topic of why my life outside of work is so lame?? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Nope. I am French-Canadian (although not from Quebec). I am also *technically* British (much to my mother's dismay). But I am not and never will be French! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

ya, like agree to pay for that cunt's vacation while he's off fighting for his country thousands of miles away from the family he loves while she's...nevermind...what nerve....I'm done. excuses, excuses... Yep... When I was in the service, I heard about a lot of cheating girlfriends and wives... I also witnessed a lot of cheating from the men's side. I don't know which side was worse, to be honest... I do know that it made me very cynnical about long-distance relationships... Well, relationship in general, actually, since a lot of the cheating went on (on both sides) when NOT on deployment... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

OK... It is a holiday and I am in the office. I'm not working very hard, but I am getting through a few little things whilst the office is lovely and quiet... Which makes me think... I should have something better to do on a day off than catch up on some (not very important) work. But I confess that I don't. Do you live to work, work to live, or are you somewhere in between? Discuss... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I refuse to take anything unless absolutely necessary and am probably the kind of person who will one day go to the doctor only to find that my cancer has progressed so far that I only have 24 hours left to live... I think generally speaking, drugs of any kind (including alcohol) do not belong in my body. That being said, modern medicine has relieved and indeed cured many suffering people so I should probably trust it a little more and be a little less cynnical... But only a little! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Oh dear... About 10 years ago I dated someone who would turn all his anger on me for every thing *he* did wrong... I think it was his defence mechanism... I admit that I stayed with him FAR longer than I should have since this behaviour was destructive for both of us... When I separated from my ex, I realised I had held him accountable for many of *my* flaws... I will forever regret my behaviour in this respect. Hopefully, you live and learn... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

People are flawed... Your ex had qualities that attracted you to her and vice-versa. That your incompatibilities overcame the good stuff doesn't erase the fact that you loved this person for some very good reasons. If I had to make a guess, I would venture that you did/said some pretty stupid things as well... Right after a breakup you are hurt and vulnerable and (IMO) quite likely to do/say stupid shit - it's kinda normal... Usually, it's a phase that passes when both people move on. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss