Nataly

Exactly. And Darius11 - I did not say all the "blame" was on the guy. Quite the opposite. To me this is a case where BOTH people need to adjust their behaviour. The girl said clearly what was and wasn't ok. When things progressed, she should have insisted, but the guy should also not have kept pushing without a clearer indication that she had changed her mind. Like Billvon said - it's a gray area. And assuming things is not a great way to go. Men are not mind readers, so women need to speak up. And men should give women an opportunity to do so as well. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I think when you’re young a lot of things are hard, however I don’t think being a girl makes you less capable. Does it (never been a 16 year-old girl before so I do not know)? I have an issue with the hypocrisy that often occurs with SOME woman. Your either equal and that comes with all the freedoms and responsibility, or you’re not and need supervision. I like woman to be Equal have all the freedom and all the responsibility and I am really disappointed when I hear the I am a girl excuse. I think she should know she made a mistake only because she feels regret, I don’t think ANY blame can be given to the guy. We have penises but that doesn’t make all of us evil and manipulative. He probably liked her and was stoked that she liked him back. To say that’s rape is such an insult to woman who have actually been raped. To say oh she is a girl so she couldn’t handle it is in insult to woman. just my .02 on this We teach girls to be "nice" so yes it IS tough for a girl (especially a young one) to speak up - a learned behaviour is hard to un-learn. It's not an excuse, it's a reality. Some grown women still struggle to assert themselves. And the guy DOES have to adjust his "radar" because ge did not clearly read the situation. Making him aware that he should get more "explicit" consent is not going to be a bad thing for him - if anything, it will help avoid future misunderstandings. And girls *like* when a guy has the intelligence to be able to communicate/ask questions, et cetera. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I have to disagree... She does MANY things extremely well and this one thing not well at all. And given these reports are *not* the most important aspects of her role, I think it's fair to describe her as "very good at her job." No one is perfect, and you can be great whilst still having flaws/weaknesses. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

So assign the reports to someone else. Why is that not a viable option? It sounds like now you basically have two people (her and you) producing the reports; why is reassigning the one task to someone else not a more efficient solution? Assign her something else that she's good at. Again, she is the only person who can produce the reports - she is the only person who has access to all the information. She is also the only administrator in that office. We are a small business. NO ONE ELSE can do these reports. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I'm sure that is totally true. I thought the flavours were complex and interesting... It felt a little tingly on my lips after a while... I liked the "ritual" aspect of it... Cutting it properly, lighting it evenly, the sensation of the smoke and blowing it out, taking the time to sit and smoke, et cetera, et cetera. But the lingering taste I don't find pleasant at all Anyway... Was worth a try, I suppose, but it still seems like a bit of a waste. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I don't like "Amy's" answer one bit. At 16, it's hard for a girl to speak up for herself. She needs to learn this. At 19, it's hard for a boy to tell the difference between a girl changing her mind and a girl feeling too much pressure to speak up. He needs to learn this. What needs to happen is she needs to have a CONVERSATION with the boy. Tell him how she felt. Tell him she is upset. He needs to listen and be sensitive to her feelings and tell him how he felt. That he did not *read* the situation the same way that she *felt* it. Both can learn something important - her to be more assertive; him to be extra careful about not being too pushy (especially with younger girls). He IS older than her, but this is something that ADULTS struggle with. It's WRONG to automatically make the dude out to be a bad guy. It's EQUALLY WRONG to say she was "asking for it." "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

My boyfriend suggested a different type of syrup... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I got given a cuban cigar and I read up on it and started finding it interesting... How cigars are made, the different types, how it should be smoked, et cetera, et cetera... I was going to give it away to someone who would appreciate it but I got curious and I thought - why not? Well, I have never smoked, and I expected it would probably make me sick... It didn't, but it's like 2 hours later and I have brushed my teeth (and tongue and pallet and gums) 5 times and the icky taste isn't going away... Funny... I've always liked the *smell* of cigars and somehow I thought I might actually enjoy smoking one. Nope. I should have given it away... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Haven't tried it yet - I bought a coke bottle and am still drinking my way through it... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

She is not in the same office, but I have gone over there with the objective of reducing useless/duplicated tasks. It was a useful exercise on many fronts but not for these... She *does* produce the reports on her own, but when she's done she usually calls me to check them... And sure enough, they are FULL of problems... I never correct them myself. I don't touch them. The last thing she needs is for someone to add/delete stuff for her - this will not help. I don't know the exact figures that she should put in, but I can spot things that seem obviously wrong to me... For example, I know from talking to our commercial guys that we have sold 3 helicopters in the previous month. I therefore expect to see data on 3 helicopters in the reports, but only 2 helicopters are in there... I couldn't say what price it was bought and sold for, the delivery date, the payment terms, et cetera - I don't have access to this info. But I know it's missing the 3rd helicopter!! Or she will put figures for a helicopter paid for in USD and the Euro price is higher than the USD price. I don't know what rate the bank used to convert the funds, but I know that 1.00 USD is roughly equal to 0.75 EUR so either her calculation is backwards, or she has the currency symbols going the wrong way, or something, but for sure it's wrong... Anyway, she should not be calculating anything - the real amounts can be found on the bank statements... Or she will put the delivery date as being earlier than the payment date (which is not typically the way we work). Or she will have "anticipated costs/repairs" as higher than the sale value of the item. Again, this makes no sense... Would you pay for $1000 of repairs on a car that's only worth $200 afterwards?? No, of course not. So is the typo that the repairs are in fact only $10.00 or that the sale price is really $2000?? Or both?? When I say this to her she understands perfectly, but somehow if you turn it into report format all logic goes out the window... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I googled "creeper sex" and came up with this: http://youtu.be/FGLBH7s-Fa8 But somehow I don't think you were talking about Minecraft... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

EDIT - dammit someone already beat me to it.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I was told they only do tandems and that Gap was the closest??? I should look into that... EDIT - it's two hours away by motorway... But that's not really so bad... FURTHER EDIT - websites show Le Luc as shut down by the mairie since 2011... I've emailed just in case. FURTHER FURTHER EDIT - lies, lies, LIES!!! Not only are they open but they will run every day from 27 July to 04 August

Same here. I rarely do more than 30-40 jumps a year now, and those are mostly at exotic events and boogies. When I started I had a lot of free time and most of my (albeit small) income was disposable... When I moved to London time was an issue... Then money was an issue... Now it's a location issue (the nearest DZ is about 4-5 hrs away by car and I don't have a car)... Can't always get everything you want...! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Oh dear... What about all the incompetent dumb men who don't get sacked - are they blowing the boss?? For a lot of reasons, sacking her is not the solution - she is extremely good at her job except for this part. Even if she *were* totally useless (she is not), it's still irrelevant because she is staying. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Sorry for the blanket answer to you and others all in one... No, I had not considered getting her to come up with a solution. I like the idea... It's still tricky, but it could be part of the solution... Just to explain, the reports are for our investors and they refuse to get them in any other format. So the bottom line is that what ever solution we come up with, those reports will have to be produced. We have tried to get her to fill an in-between report, but this made things more disconnected for her and she was even more lost... We have also automated a HUGE part of the report so that data entry is all that is needed (no calculations)... If anything, it has made filling it easy, but paradoxically made things far more abstract for her. We have put all kinds of checks and visual flags to highlight errors... When there is an error, she calls me to ask me why (despite the error message saying "error - sale price cannot be less than payment received" which I think is pretty clear...). However, we did NOT get her to come up with her own proposal, and perhaps there is wisdom in that approach... Is the problem that we hired the wrong person? Well, given she is not going away, this is totally irrelevant. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Those of you who have said there is a problem with her math skills, that is absolutely true. And having basic math skills is essential to this part of her job... But like I stated, that part of her job will stay with her role and she is not going to be replaced. I suppose one way to counter the maths issue would be for her to follow a consistent, specific process that ensures nothing is missed... The problem is that there are too many variables to come up with a definitive check-list or flow-chart or set of if/then instructions (trust me, we have tried!!)... There *are* fundamental principles, which as I said we have explained in many different ways, without success... Where is the "frustrated" emoticon?? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I know a lot of people on here are instructors or teachers or managers... I work with someone who DOES NOT UNDERSTAND the reports she is producing... Trouble is, it's an integral part of her job (ie: she is reporting on the very things that she is working on...). Her role is not going to change, and we are not going to replace her, so I am looking for ideas on how to explain these reports to her so she will finally "get it." (Note she has been fucking up the reporting for almost two years now... ) I have tried simplifying the format/interface of the reports. I have tried explaining the principles behind the reports. I have tried explaining the detail behind the reports. I have put together a powerpoint presentation that shows "visually" how the reports work and what their purpose is. I have tried giving similar examples in "real life" to make the things easier to grasp. I have asked *her* to explain them to me in her own words (she does, and it's coherent and then one week later she will ask me a new question that shows she does NOT GET IT AT ALL)... Now I'm at my wit's end and out of ideas... I have tried all of this and despite her being convinced each time that "ahhhh, finally it's clear," she keeps missing important information, producing incorrect reporting, or finding new ways to fuck up things I never thought she could get wrong... I think part of the problem is that she is "afraid" of these reports and so anything to do with them and her logical thinking goes out the window... She is NOT a moron - she has a fear of numbers!!! And I don't know how to help her... Help!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Just got my USPA licence in the post today and saw "years of membership: 10"!! Yikes!! If I had jumped at the same rate as my first year every year, I'd have about 2000 jumps by now... Hmmm... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Oh my gosh... NO WONDER I attract all the skeeters - I taste fucking delicious!!!!! I am a mosquito's wet dream!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Oh dear... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I actually am one who has little problem with stating that there are differences between men and women. Men don't breastfeed, so they don't need to have accommodations to express breast milk, for example. What I am concerned about is the idea that there are "white standards" and standards for everyone else. Back in the day, it used to be the idea that minorities lacked the innate talent and capability to do a lot of things to the standard of a white male. So they were not considered for work or other opportunities. Now it seems as though you are suggesting that minorities lack the innate talent and capability to do a lot of things to the standard of a white male. I cannot help but interpret the statement as being that minorities cannot meet standards that whites can meet. This is the opposite of what I am saying. I'm saying white men have developed the current recruitment standards, according to the skills they think are important. Skills you can usually only acquire if you have access to the right opportunities. I'm saying certain groups don't have access to the same opportunities to develop those particular skills. I'm also saying the people recruiting (white men) are ignoring a whole range of other useful skills (because it would never occur to them to look for it). Let me give an example. Your entire society is made up of hunters. You know of no other way to obtain food. You value traits like speed, strength and accuracy with a spear. People in your community have a high status if they posses these skills - bigger house, larger portion of the kill, et cetera, et cetera. Along comes a farmer. None of the hunters have ever heard of or met a farmer. When they decide which position in the hunt to give the farmer, they are struggling because the farmer is not a good runner, is not strong at all and is a terrible shot. He does not possess the skills they are looking for in a hunter (because he grew up in a farming community) and is deemed useless by the hunters - they do not even let him hunt. They give him a very low rank in the society and/or shoo him away. The problem is, the real objective is to get food. And the farmer IS able to do that. But the hunters simply do not realise this. In fact the society would be better off if farmers were taught to hunt, but more importantly everyone would be better off if hunting was not the only food-source - ie: if farming was included/recognised as an important part of the food-gathering process. So the current problem is both lack of opportunity (for non-white-males) AND recruitment bias (ie: looking for specific skills, but ignoring or not valuing others). There are other issues as well, obviously. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

*** My dad just retired as a captain with the local fire dept. 33 years served. The last 3 years he became extremely frustrated because they were required to maintain a certain level of minority employment. Here's the problem, though... If there is no requirement for more diversity, there will always be an excuse NOT to hire anything other than the same old profiles as before (ie: white male). Again, a lot of the current standards are designed by and for white men, so it shouldn't come as a big surprise that other people don't necessarily meet those standards... There isn't only "one right way" to do things, so it stands to reason that if you only look for one thing, you will exclude a lot of people who fail by your standards but in fact ARE suited to the job. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Google images of "cap martin roquebrune, village" and you will see why I can't use any of your (otherwise very good) advice... The images where all the stone houses are built right on top of one another?? That's where I live. Nobody has a garden... Or can have a bird house (unless you want it indoors)... There are no ponds (it's all built on a hill - rain/water flows downwards... You can't have mosquito protection on your windows (it would be unsightly and not follow the strict building regulations in this historic part of the village)... I've tried bug repellant (sorry, not really "bug spray") but it seems to make no difference. I'm surprised there are any skeeters here at all and yet here they are and they are bugging the hell out of me. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I think it's entirely possible that an entire group of people are so often excluded from opportunities that none of them are currently "meeting the recruitment standards"... However, that doesn't mean that they can't catch up if they ARE given the opportunities. What's more, many of the "standards" are unwittingly exclusive, and don't recognise/acknowledge a whole different set of skills the "new" groups can bring to the table. There are MANY problems in the current system, and these are not easy to correct. Instead of viewing it as though an incompetent (and black) person is taking the job of a competent (and white) person, we should be looking at the notion that we are integrating more skills and diversity (as opposed to replicating/perpetuating an already-flawed system). "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss