Lindercles

BWAHAHAHAHAH. no.

SWEET! literally and figuratively. it's the little things that make life good. like fried peanut butter and candy bars. CHOO CHOO, next stop my thighs!

post on, walt , post on! someday i'll tell you the story that your stories inspired me to take part in last night...

hey, wait, i said it first! where's my prize!

kinda reminds me of keller williams. pretty impressive

no, but fried peanut butter, banana, and honey is awesome. i'll have to try the pickles, it actually sounds pretty good.

she only took two dumps in 71 days? or does that not count all the dumps she took in the boat and then wallowed in for the rest of the trip.

Brilliant! I can't wait to use that one, um, if i ever get the chance. One of the few perks to dating a skydiver is that that issue never comes up. You both just implicitely know that you do, in fact, love your gear more than each other.

damn, pretty much burned your own joke there, bro. better luck next time

cool. so i know i'm a bit rusty, how'd i do off the top of my head?

actually, the proper capitalization would be TAMEN DIE LVNAE TE AMABO, since latin didn't have a such thing as lower case letters, and the U was actually a V, but few scholars actually follow that anymore

yeah, that translator wasn't very helpful. you might want to try something like "tamen die lunae te amabo." I have a classics degree, but it's been a few years since i've taken latin. that's off the top of my head, but i'll check my old grammar books when i get home from work.

hell yeah it makes a difference! i bet you can get 40 skydivers into a grand caravan if you don't need it to fly. more if they're not wearing clothes.

plus i KNOW i've seen him dressed up in Klan gear on the show. ergo, racist.

asshat: "stop wearing me!"

i hate you. edit: before i get hounded for this, i don't ACTUALLY hate you. i don't even know you. i'm just A) jealous that i wasn't there, and B) a Texas fan, and therefore burned by the whole thing

you didn't give the "it hurts (from guy)" option. if you had, that's what i would have voted for

Fluffy Mound View? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ...wait, hold on, i gotta catch my breath..... ok, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

huh? what's that? Walt not sure, but i think i like it

nanu nanu

Price Manor where's my $3 million?

i've been toying with the idea of inventing a time machine for quite a while now, but to date i just couldn't find a viable use for it. you've inspired me. just don't forget the 20 bucks this time.

There's nothing quite like fooling gullible coworkers while bored. I used to work at a local burrito joint while in college, and you can only say "What can I do for you?" so many times a day before it begins to lose its meaning. You know, like when you repeat the same word over and over again and it just starts to sound weird. One day, in the middle of the shift, I approached an attractive female customer and, completely involuntarily, I said "What can I do with you?" It was quite embarassing. I turned to see one of my female coworkers standing right there, laughing her ass off at me. Needless to say, the rest of the customer interaction was quite awkward. Not even a week later I inadvertantly did the exact same thing to another female customer, only to see the same coworker standing right next to me, cracking up. Again. Understand at this point that I have lived with many foreign exchange students and observed the way they speak. I had also just gotten back from a semester in Greece (which has its own stories) and made a genuine effort to speak their language. I have noticed that, when attempting to speak another language, prepositions can be very difficult, and tend to give problems to even the most advanced speakers. So, at my closest convenience, and with the straightest face I could muster, I approached my coworker and said, "I really don't appreciate you laughing at me. I was born in Russia and English is my second language. I like to think I'm doing pretty well with it, but prepositions still give me trouble sometimes." She totally bought it! Not only that, but she felt really guilty, which made it even harder not to laugh. We worked together in the same store for 3 more years after that, and I never did tell her the truth. Actually, I told her even more lies that she believed, but that's a different story.

Clean Up After Yourself: The Collected Leavings of Walt Appel It's got #1 seller written all over it!

i can't help but notice a large percentage of your stories happened in Austin. especially the ones about jerking off. obviously this is just a coincidence, but my, what a particularly odd fluke.