Bolas

Just curious, do you know my ex-husband??? LOL! It doesn't look like you live in New Jersey so I think we're okay. I dunno... He did travel an awful lot... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Funny... that was the mantra of my ex-boyfriend, except it went "what's mine is mine and what's HERS is mine." News flash, guys! It has nothing to do with what form our genitals are. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

OK, that's just wrong. Child support, I can understand, that's required. The nice car is not an excuse though. I do agree it's not necessarily about who makes the most. House debt, student loans, etc. should be factored in. Then of course, I'm from the south so have the inclination to pay for everything anyways...

Fixed it for ya.

No, he's not!!! His location in his profile on here still says UK and we all know dizzle profiles trump all, including reality... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

This one fall off a cliff has given me more freefall time than Divot this year. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Tony, if you have to choke down a Lunesta and risk a BWS charge (Banging While Sleeping - that's kinda like a DWI but the consequences aren't as severe) , you need to bang hotter chicks. What'd be really hot would be to wake up during...

You wanna see my whole face? Do it with a photo editor, ya bastards... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

If she was really frisky, you might have had sex without even being awake for it... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

(coughing) Bullshit! (coughing) LOL!! Yeah! I demand video proof!! Unfortunately there is no video proof. But my roommates friend knows I turned it down. Cause actually the way it happened is he came in and was like 'wake up. your girl wants to have sex.' to which i responded 'i can't. I'm all sexed out.' to which he seemed to be amused, shocked and disappointed all at once. Tongue, toys, or fingers are always an option if primary equipment is on standby. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Memory? I've heard it called a lot of things but that's a new one... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Careful, you'll lose your taste for good beer. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Let your fingers do the walkin... What makes you think I haven't done that already.. Create a whole litter of puppies...

Wow. I usually don't hear that until after... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Yeah, it's not fair to us single girls who aren't getting any! I bet Bolas will jump in now suggesting his dream of a threesome. Am I really that predictable? It's all ratios. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Let your fingers do the walkin... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Tandem videos are fake, and bad ones at that. You can see the string holding them up in most... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

I'm kinda broke right now, can I go as your trophy/cabana boy? That's why I dumped the last one. Paying for everything gets old (and bank account depleting) really quick! Why do you think I'm broke? Nothing to do with the boogie whorin', buyin' a canopy, and a motorcycle.

Couples Swept Away? Did the hurricane get it? I'm kinda broke right now, can I go as your trophy/cabana boy? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the w aitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.' A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it . She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.' Bob's funeral will be on Friday. ******** A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, 'Are all of those kids yours?' He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.' ************** When asked by a stranger if i was a leg or breast man I answered that I had a particular fondness for hairy fannies. He then informed me that this wasn't an option when choosing a KFC bargain bucket. ************* Your application to join an online dating agency has been rejected. One of the questions was: 'What do you like most in a woman?' 'My Dick' is not an appropriate answer! Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Whacky charges: Bill got arrested for giving his parrot beer: Contributing to the delinquency of a myna. Susan got arrested for doing calculus while drunk: Drinking and deriving. Three guys were arrested for indecent exposure: The first got off for lack of evidence. The second got off because the evidence wouldn't stand up in court. The third however was convicted and sentenced to drinking Windex... to prevent streaking. DUI - Charleston, South Carolina Style Only a person in Charleston could think of this. From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story: Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Charleston , SC. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.' 'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.' Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

I do kinda pity the next low jump number high wingload poster. Knowing that some actually do listen if beaten in enough times is only going to encourage us.

There's a deep water-filled ditch! But it's deep enough that you won't get back out of it at the end of your landing... So it would be nothing different for Dave? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Ah, a Lance Armstrong joke. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob. I hope this doesn't go to SC... Late Night with Conan O'Brien * This week, someone was able to hack into Sarah Palin's Yahoo! e-mail account, because she hadn't taken the proper security measures. So it's official: no one in the Palin family uses protection. (My Fave) * Barack Obama attended a fundraiser headlined by Barbra Streisand that raised $9 million. This was historic because it's the most money raised in one night and because it was the first time a black man ever attended a Barbra Streisand concert. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.