Twoply

Hmm?

My wife is FSU Alumni. She's staying up late and getting drunk in the process. Gotta love these southern chicks with their loud ass hooting and hollering. Hope she holds still long enough for me to pork her.

"Shopping list: Manicure set, latex gloves, and ceiling paint. " That's great!

I had one a few weeks ago. My woman aimed my member away from her and we ended up having to wipe off the ceiling. Wonderful. Just make sure she washes her hands before handling food.

I've a few questions if you'd like to talk about your job. Pm me if you like

Anyone know about these things? I'm kinda interested in one, but I dont know much about them. I know I'd like one that's portable and not mounted in a vehicle. Thanks Mike

I've never been prone to nightmares but the other night I have this hell kind of dream that I forgot my son outside in a shopping cart while it was a snowstorm. When I came back, he was frozen and looking at me with that "help me" look. I awoke all frenzied and heart banging in my chest and it took a long time to calm down and to kind of purge the pain/guilt feeling. I told my cool mother in law, and she just gave some kind of quiet smile and that was all. I told a fellow dad at work about it and he did the same little smile and nod. What the hell am I missing? Are these little acknowledgements or some other code that I'm not getting? That was a horrible dream.

This is how my daughter looks at me. May I be all the daddy she thinks I am.

Check these out. http://www.hi-vel.com/Catalog__18/Perimeter_Alarm_Systems___Acce/perimeter_alarm_systems___acce.html Holy shit, how freaking scary would the H-5 12 gauge alarm be?

I'm always coming up with ideas to get patented and I usually just use Microsoft Excel to sketch them up really quick. Its ok, but I'm sure there is a better one out there. Does anyone out there know one to use that isnt going to require a course to take? Thanks all!

Right before he got into the minivan to have mommy drive him to the preschool, I looked him straight in his 3.5 year old eyes and started to say something honorable and proud-like, but out of freaking nowhere, I start blubbering like a little girl and hugging him telling him how proud I am of him. This dad stuff is confusing. I was NOT expecting that at all.

Thanks for all the responses. I know that I'd like them to be interested in honorable activity, be it Judo, wrestling or even archery. Activities like this helped me train how to calm my mind among the flurry of thoughts that flood one's mind when confronted with a situation. I know for a fact that the priority is to be aware of surroundings and recognize a situation before it happens to evade or even to kinda prep your mind if it turns violent. Teach them to approach a teacher and tell them what my dad told me to say: "Mrs XXXX, Alan over there has thrown a crayon, shoes and his spiderman lunchbox at me. I've asked him to stop but if he continues, I'll defend myself." She actually thanked me for coming to her like I did and told me I was very mature. But also when it comes right down to it and there is no other options, attack with everything you have and do not hold back. People will leave you alone. I did end up busting poor Alan right in the cheek and he never even looked at me again. Bullies 0, Me 1. Stupid second grader.

I'm living the dream here when this is what i come home to.

My son is going to preschool in the morning. I never really thought about bullies since I was in school myself. Now I'm not concerned with there being very many bullies in his 3-4 year old class but I am comitted to teaching him how to defend himself now and as he grows older. My dad taught us basic boxing and some really nasty street fighting as kids. I've used some of it in self defense and it's proven it's value. My question is have you put your kids into some form of martial arts or formal training? If so, how has the experience gone for your kids? I'm pretty sure I'm going to pursue it if not to help train him in self defense, but also to provide self confidence and self reliance.

After reading this, my wife wants to know, How does he have all the ingredients for cookies but no measuring cups? She's odd at best.

What's a clitoris?

Oh come on people, I 'd like some help in having a good idea for mom this year.

Why do the guys in the ghetto constantly grab their privates or always have a hand on them? Is this cool or to act like they have a gun?

My mom loves spaghetti, so last year I handmade 4 quarts of tomato sauce. Boiled the tomatoes and did the whole deal and canned them in masons jars. Who's got another good idea?

What is a good one? This one I have sucks since I bought it. Char broil. It has hot spots in areas and is sparatic even with maintaining it. I'm talking propane units. Not charcoal. Thanks

So I'm sitting on the toilet at a rest stop and somebody gets into the stall next to me. Through a well concealed hole he pokes a $20 bill through to my side. I take it in bewilderment and then a few seconds late he pkes his weiner through it. I said something like "Woah dude what the hell" and he starts askinf for his money back. I gave it back and got the hell out of there. This world is fucked up.

These things are not the same as regular moist, butt wipes. Believe me when I say this.

I heard once that you swallow about a quart of snot every day even when you aren't sick. Interesting.

My brother gave me an Ipod he found while jogging. It's just the ipod itself without any cables. I went to buy what I thought would just be a simple charger and maybe a usb cable. The chick at walmart said you need the usb cable to charge it, but I guess I dont understand. It says 20g on the back and it has a screen that I think looks like a video screen. What cable sdo I need to just use it without the bells and whistles? Thanks

Why are they shaped triangular?