mr2mk1g

I'd be surprised if he got much response here. This has to be the highest trolled section on the site - people here know how to deal with a troll... simply ignore them. Ever see that episode of the Simpsons when the billboard advertising comes to life and starts destroying the city? The only way to kill them was to pay no attention to them so they wither and die. It's the same thing with trolls - if no one feeds them they have to go back to wanking in the corner of their bedroom. Not that I'm insinuating that anyone here is a troll of course... just discussing the issue as it's been raised in the thread.

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died. First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place I looked was out on the balcony. I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he yelled, but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer, and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors screaming in agony. But the fall didn't kill the asshole. He landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refrigerator from the kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went back into the bedroom and shot myself." St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then, telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside. Second man: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily, I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second stroke of luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and crushing me." St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man. Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a refrigerator..."

Ok, I'm going there later this year... but I have a couple of questions first for locals or anyone who knows the DZ. 1) What's the best time of year to go out there? I'm thinking mainly with regards to the weather and whatever events that may be going on at the DZ. 2) What's the weather like during this period? 3) Will the DZ provide the invitation I need for a visa? 4) Are there any issues with taking a rig through Russian customs? 5) Does the DZ have packers and what are the rates like? 6) What sort of (non-skydiving) gear would you recommend bringing? Is there a bunk house? What’s it like and is it a question of bringing sleeping bags etc? 7) Any other tips? 8) Are there any locals on here who're going to say "hi" to me while I'm out there? cheers all

Sorry, did somebody say that Gordy was buying at the AGM?

Oh I love my job alright... in fact now I've actually read the papers I'm ready for an argument with the other side and looking forward to getting hold of them on the phone. It's just when you're sat there with a big pile of papers in front of you which are of a technical nature meaning you have to really concentrate to get through them... that's when you start finding reasons to do something else.

Q: Why didnt the US just plant WMDs? A: They did - they just can't find em now bwahahahahahaha

Yeah, I'm desperately looking for ways to avoid reading a really dense 30 page medical report and attached records... I just can't find the motivation today.... already made 3 cups of tea... that didn't really help matters. Then I read yet another thread with 3 more "could care less" comments, one after the other and I "flipped".

[whine] I see lots of people using the phrase "I could care less". This phrase is meaningless, conveys the opposite meaning to that intended and moreover makes the writer look stupid. The correct phrase is "I couldn’t care less" i.e. you care so little that about the issue that it is physically impossible to care any less about it. Saying that you "could care less" indicates that you obviously care about it, as it is possible to care less than you currently do. From the context in which I see these phrases used, it would appear that this is not the meaning the writer intends to convey. I hate to make whinny posts like this... certainly on subjects such as this due to my appalling spelling… but it's really got on my nerves over the last week or so as a great many people, who I know to be educated, have been repeatedly using this incorrect phrase. Note to all who do - it makes you look really stupid as it's not just a simple error, but denotes a complete failure to actually look at what you just wrote. As indicated above, the meaning is obvious if you simply stop and actually read the words. [/whine]

Yup - exactly right. It's a very well respected theory with wide acceptance. Having been out many many times at British pubs arround 11pm and at night clubs arround 2am I would wholeheartedly agree. My continental girlfriend I was seeing for a while couldn't understand it. They don't even go out till 11... seeing someone drunk at 10pm for her was shocking.

bwaaahahahahaha - that's funny On a serious note, the article sounds like one of those typical "the daredevil died because their parachute failed to work" type articles... i.e. only part of the story. I can well imagine several different scenarios... some the lawyer's being a twat... some where the court personnel could have been well within their rights to arrest them. From the snippets in the article I certainly don't know which is the case. certainly makes it sound like the two were making a nuisance of themselevs... but who's to say without more info.

Thanks for everyone's ideas - just remember that my "rant" was supposed to be 90% for amusement purposes. I'm happy that Adobe does everything I need and I've got After Effects, knew that's what I was "supposed" to be using and simply couldn't be bothered to pull it out and use it. As for the motion controls - that's the first thing I tried but it came out all jerky and looked crap... I thus resorted to my mind tricks having concluded that I was probably "supposed" to use the unsatisfactory motion controls and that there was therefore unlikely to be any other way provided by the program 'out of the can'.

Damnit - it took me a day to figure this out.... it works now exactly as I want it so there's no point changing things but I'll know for next time, cheers. Like I said - "When you do find the effect you were looking for, it’s got some strange name that doesn’t appear to be at all related to the effect it produces." And cheers for the plugin headsup zoter - I'm sure I can locate a copy.

I was a 100 jump wonder (and still not far off that). We'd been doing some formation stuff and had been given a designated landing direction by the CCI which was not perfectly into wind. It was the last load of the day and I was doing a long straight approach on the designated line - perfectly parallel with a line mown in the grass which had been pointed out by the CCI. I could see another canopy level with me in the setting sun to my right. Because of the sun I couldn't tell if they were moving towards me or not. They were in fact cutting across the designated line by only a few degrees, so as to be perfectly into wind meaning that their path intersected mine. At the last second I recognized that they were infact coming at me out of the sun and did a flare turn to the left and a hard PLF resulting in nothing more than a minor muscle strain and some grass marks. The more experienced jumper never even saw me and was shocked by the ground video provided by someone who had just landed before us. I had successfully not downsized since getting the canopy before qualifying for my “A”. A smaller canopy could have meant the strain could have been a break. I had successfully read Billvon's downsizing checklist, further read up on flare turns and practiced them up high. An ordinary flare would have planted me into the ground. Failing to make any turn would have caused a canopy collision.

different things at different times. As stumpy says it's got a lot to do with buildup. I find a good method is to approach from the side and use swift horizontal (due to the approach equating to vertical) movement, coupled with internal circular motions with a steady upward pressure. This has the additional benefit of giving you a free hand with which you can either ease access or protect the subject from interference from your beard which can prove uncomfortable if steps aren’t taken to guard against it. The important thing is variation though - you wouldn't want the subject to know what's comming now would you.

nope Had been using Premier Pro but got pissed off with all the odd little glitches. These comments are made about my pains over the last week with Pro 1.5 (identical in all but glitches to Pro). I only ever did a little bit of editing on 6.5 - I'd hate to think what I'd have done to my monitor (aka whipping dog/punch bag) by now if I'd have been using that version.

Man have two ears and only one mouth, so wise man listen twice as much as he speaks.

Sounds very much like a martial arts movie... I like the idea.

Adobe Premier is like an errant child; it always wants to get its own way. It’s never happy to simply do as it’s told... it always has to have its input... it always has to make things difficult for you... and just like a naughty child if you want it to do anything complicated it’s never as simple as just asking nicely. No – what you have to do is sneak up on it. You have to trick it into doing what you want... you have to use sly little mind games to make it think it’s won when actually, behind the scenes, you’ve pulled a fast one on it and snuck through that transition you were looking to use. Like the mischievous child, it never pays any attention to the fact that you’re the adult... you’re the owner... you’re the one thats supposed to be in charge... you’re the one that feeds it the electricity it needs to survive and gives it a nice clean computer to live in. All your nice transitions are hidden away somewhere. One’s you know ought to exist have been spirited away from you, down the backs of sofa’s or into the depths of toy boxes never to be seen again. When you do find the effect you were looking for, it’s got some strange name that doesn’t appear to be at all related to the effect it produces. Let’s take an example shall we – say you wanted to slowly zoom into a specific spot in a still. No... don’t be so silly – the “zoom” effect’s not going to do that – that’s for zooming out of course. You can fudge it by playing with the values so it will zoom in... but only a little and into the middle of the shot. How about moving the shot to one side so you zoom into the point you want? No – that doesn’t work either... black mysteriously creeps over the screen covering up areas of the footage that were previously shown. No explanation for that one in the on-line help. You settle on zooming into the center... it’s not quite what you wanted but with key frames you can zoom in slowly and it’ll do... but when rendered it judders horribly as it zooms. Nope – you didn’t give Premier those sweets last week... it’s not going to let things go that smoothly. Remember – what you actually have to do is sneak up on your errant child and trick it into doing what you want. Use mind games! How about you pretend you’ve given up and take two identical shots and put a cross zoom transition between the two... Premier wants you to zoom in and back out again so set it to 50% and snip off the rest of the footage. Now you’re only zooming in... you can even zoom into the spot you want and thus you create exactly the effect you were looking for in the firstplace and Premier is none the wiser. You’re happy as you’ve finally got your way. Premier’s happy as it thinks it’s forced you to do what it wants. But no... your troubles are not over there. See you now want to fade in and out of these shots as you transition from one to the next. Nope – can’t do that as then you’d be using two transitions on one shot – surely then you’d be having too much fun. Remember the golden rule – you have to sneak up and trick Premier into doing what you want. So you export each clip individually as a movie and import them back into another edit as if they were filmed like that. Then Premier will let you cross fade in and out of them – not realizing you’ve just tricked it into letting you have your own way. It’s happy because it thinks you’ve got fed up and started something new... only you know your little secret. Just like a child though, Premier will always have its way in the end. For no apparent reason it’ll throw a strop every now and again and refuse to use a simple transition you want. You know there couldn’t possibly be any logical reason for it to do this... the transition works on the previous clip... the footage you’re using is exactly the same as the last shot... the transition’s the same... the number of frames is the same... there’s absolutely nothing different whatsoever – Premier’s even still got it’s soother and blanky. No – Premier’s just having its little paddy... see things have been going too smoothly and you’ve almost had the chance to forget that you’re supposed to be fighting with the software and for a moment thought you were simply editing video. Now it’s time for Premier to kick its little heels on the floor again and get some more of your valuable attention. Less editing, more fighting... how about you try threatening it this time? “Go on then, tantrum you little bugger – I’ll go off to the orphanage and adopt myself an Apple Mac... then you’ll be sorry!”

No - Putin vetoed the ban on the consumption of beer on the streets requesting that it's terminology is further defined. The UK has a similar ban on the consumption of alcohol in the street. I thought the US also had similar laws in several states? Still, it makes a change from a few years ago when their ecconomy crashed and they were paying everyone with vodka.

EDIT The Cypres can be adjusted for an altitude difference between your take off and landing altitudes, however the manual states that the max adjustment you can make is plus or minus 1500ft or 500m.

surely we could have a whip round and have him ink a big cock on his forehead for a month

hehe - there goes his workers comp claim.

For every time I hit "post reply" there's at least 2 or 3 written but thrown away. Not always cos they'll fuel an argument though... sometimes it's because I don't think people will get the joke over the net (eg sarcasm in text is really hard to convey).

how about "fluffer" ?

You realise that means you don't get to touch right?