bluepill

"you got any rabbits?" "Yes I do and your the 5th in the last hour, I have run out of condoms. Do you have any?" or dont reply with anything just wildly giggle in a stupid high girly way .... and then just keep giggling....and keep giggling... and keep on giggling... until he goes away. BP

This happened to me a couple of months ago.. I was in the local library a while back and I had managed to secure a computer to use for a while. The library is a particularly busy but strict silence is adhered too. There is a bank of computers for people to use. It is always busy and you are allowed up to a 2 hour slot. Anyhow, I managed to get a slot and sat down to surf the internet. After about 30 minutes or so my belly is really aching, rumbling and moaning. There was definitely a build up of wind going on. Normally in situations like this I would go outside and let a few bum burps go. (better an empty house than an angry tenant). But in this situation I could not. If I left the computer then I would lose my slot and you are only allowed one slot per day. I struggled with this dilemma for a while. Finally I decided on a plan. I lent forward on the desk, cocked one bum cheek up and gently squeezed… to let one of those silent ones go, you know the ones that go “Pffffffffffff”. Anyway, nothing was happening, so really carefully I gently squeeze again. Then all of a sudden I get this almighty “rrrRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP” as I do the loudest and longest fart I have ever heard. If I thought it was quiet in the library before, I could hear a pin drop in those seconds immediately following the event. And it was pretty clear to everyone who had done it… after all I was in the assumed farting position. BP

Woo hoo - 34.147 BP

Mine was fluke... I can't get past 20 any more BP

I got 32.21 miles so far. Beat that. http://www.happy-christmas.co.uk/mandmdirect/ BP

Not a big fan of the red myself. When I'm really hard up, a HP piece hits the spot every time. BP

Keeley Hazell BP

Indeed it was

Nope.

Who is the only man to win all 3 of the races below? The Indy 500; The Le Mans 24hr; and the Monaco Grand prix. BP

Being on vacation tends to give a little time. I lost a few strokes by just missing a couple of times so I think that a score lower then 26 is possible.. But this is close..

If its a really big one its a Door Stop. BP

Andy_Copland can't catch me BP

main beam fuckers or badly adjusted headlight piss me off.. but so do those tits that still think that side-lights are any use... stop with the fairly lights and put some proper lights on arse hole. I guess your not a Volvo lover then huh? BP

was that in the 'annoying' or 'joy' category? BP

This problem usually comes about when one thinks with their dick. Its a very very easy habit to get into. In fact for us guys, its a hard job (skuse the pun) to not get into this habit. But you must try. It is essential to improving your luck in love. So next time, instead of thinking with your cock, just STOP. I mean stop right there... and do what Dan Clark would do... Gently grab your balls and whisper to yourself "what would my balls want me to do". You see that is the problem. You have been listening to your dick, when you should be listening to your balls. Try it.. You will see. BP

Nice one With that and 'Egg Sac Leigh' you have me LMAO. BP

Does she scrape the spoon on her teeth? Like chalk on a blackboard to me. Yup, scapes and bangs. Her teeth can not be real with how hard she hits them. Annoying one I encountered today... People (mostly christmas shoppers) who when they step off the escalator just stop, look around and try to figure out which direction to go next. Meanwhile me and every other poor sod on the escalator are walking backwards trying to avoid a pile up. BP

What little things annoy you on a daily basis... You know, the stuff that no-one else is bothered about? And what little things throughout the day bring you the most joy/happiness? Annoying: A woman in work every day has to eat cereal (at mid-day) from a bone china bowl with a metal spoon. The bloody noise drives me MAD - riny dink riny dink rinky dinkr inky dink Joy: Seeing the bual buals and tinsel that my step-daughter decorated my car with on the weekend.

Portraits or full body ? Just make sure she gets her period. So... is the "other" christoph still waiting to find out? BP

Yeh yeh yeh... Soooo ummm... what you gonna marinate him in and what stuffing are you gonna use? BP

Which Dawn are you referring too, there have been a few. BP

My mom says the same thing.

BP

Pahhh Ok, well when you have had a few, take a look at the pic and tell me if she is hor or not. BP