DrunkMonkey

Hello! Just settling into my office after a breakfast of Government omelette, SOS, and bacon. Gotta love the Mess Hall. Best breakfast deal in town...

That kicks ass!!

Mirage Icon Phil Splat Femur Bounce Bob Cork My Favourite: "First" (Editied to remove ones already mentioned--really ought to read first..)

Hey... I'm Drunk Monkey. I used to post sometimes, then work blocked DZ.com. Not anymore! I'm a friend of Sunshine's, met her last fall at SD Chicago. Friends of SDC's Wookie know me as the Air Force guy from Kansas that shows up on Thanksgiving weekends, and 1-2 days in the summer. Anyhow, I just left another message board that was chock full of asshats, so I'm back. I'm a C-license, RW, Triathlon 160 in a Mirage G3 jumper. Waiting on the Wx to warm up before getting back to jumping. In the interim, I've been working on my SEL pilot cert. I'm a Captain in the Air Force, flying a desk in the Wing plans office..hey, it pays the bills... Anyhow... Hi!

Sell it--use the proceeds to pay off any debt you may have.

Northern Illinois Univ. Decal, USPA sticker--I cut the wings out of the center--looks much better than the round shape.

Hell, I agree... I loved the day I put on 1Lt, a lot of the pranks disappeared... Q: What's the difference between an A1C and a 2Lt? A: The A1C's been promoted twice. Too bad I'm getting out before I can experience the bliss of Captain-hood...

Tough assignment.... Must be tough, all that entertainment and DZ's just outside the gate... Plus the fact that the weather sucks here Oct-April... But, it'll improve soon, I'm looking for that big promotion: Civilian First Class!

Yep-McConnell AFB, in the Land That Time Forgot, a.k.a Kansas.. Where are you at?

AFOSI=Air Force Office of Special Investigations. Our own little in-house FBI.

Um... What's a henweigh? (I'm a Yankee.)

Did the sale include a free mullet? It's a safe bet to find someone with a mullet or a Poison concert T-shirt near most El Caminos...

Yep, an SUV, but not one of those land yachts they're marketing lately. Go for the Explorer, Tahoe, Avalanche, etc... Avoid the Expedition/Excursion. It'll waste jump ticket money on gas.

When it gets frosty in Kansas, I usually wear Nomex mechanic's gloves with 2 pair latex surgical gloves underneath. For head/face, I wear my Bonehead Mindwarp and a turtleneck covering my entire neck. Neck gators work well also. Only exposed skin is mouth/nose--no big deal. Feet- ski socks underneath combat boots, w/silk sock liners to prevent blisters.. rest of body--as many layers as I can put on and still shoe-horn myself into my RW suit. I have plenty of GI issue thermals, I usually wear 2 pair under my other clothes. I also keep a wool blanket in the hangar to wrap up in when I am not actively packing/dirt diving. 55--that's a heatwave!

"I'm all over that like a Frat Boy on a drunk Chick." Basic Training: "If I do that, my ass would have more attention than a snitch's on 'OZ'." -Just my $0.02

Why do nice guys finish dead f**king last? I'm tired of this shite.

Grow some self esteem: Get up, dust yourself off. Go to school (If you haven't already) Get a good job. (If you don't have one) Stop using drugs (if you do) Travel around--travelling helps you figure out who you are. Relax, be yourself All these steps help self esteem-you'll feel better about yourself, and not be a "Bum."

...No Comment...

Thank God sanity prevailed here... ------------------------------------------ LONDON, England -- A woman injured while squeezed next to an obese passenger on a trans-Atlantic flight has been given £13,000 ($20,000) by the airline. Barbara Hewson, 63, was offered damages by Virgin Atlantic after suffering a blood clot, torn leg muscles and sciatica following a flight to Los Angeles in January 2001, the UK's Press Association reported. She said the woman passenger was so large she had to sit with the arm rests up, but when she complained, the crew said there was nothing they could do as the plane was full. Hewson, of Swansea, Wales, who still has medical treatment, was quoted by PA on Monday as saying: "It was never about the money. No money would pay for you having sleepless nights with the pain." The freelance writer, who travelled with her husband Roy, 67, said she spent most of her holiday in bed. "It ruined the holiday. We went out very little." Hewson added that half-way through the flight the woman asked if she was okay, saying to her: "I'm sitting on your lap." "I had three sessions of sitting in the hostess seat and I stood for a little while," added Hewson. Virgin Atlantic said in a statement: "This was an unprecedented set of extremely unfortunate circumstances. "We have apologised to Mrs Hewson and offered her compensation, which she has accepted, and we are pleased that this has now reached a conclusion." --------------------------------------------- And now these "fat rights" groups are protesting, saying they're covered under the ADA. No, sorry, you're not disabled. You're a f**king manatee. It's not a disability. If you're missing a leg, it's a disability. If you're missing a cheesecake, it's NOT a disability. If you are so friggin fat you need two seats, ante up, you cheap fat bastard!!

Which one is risque' enough without being too offensive? Just experiencing a lack of inspiration...

Our jump pilot dips while flying. Man, that putrid smell of mint, wintergreen, or cherry is just about enough to get me to hurl if I'm hungover on the first planeload of the day...

Not an option, at least until 2003. I am in the USAF, and the pea-brains that pass out assignments sentenced me to pay my dues at McConnell AFB. At least it's not Minot or Grandforks, but it still sucks here. So let me bitch!

Hey Sis! Didja ever consider PRK instead of LASIK? It supposedly gives better results without slicing a flap off of your cornea(possible scarring/refraction)... Damn, it's cold in Kansas...

Things I would not miss if Kansas was nuked 1. The weather 2. Cox Internet Access 3. The lack of mountains 4. Wichita's air quality, or lack thereof... 5. The wind. If I enjoyed 30mph winds, I'd move into NASA's windtunnel. 6. The lack of a train system. Some days I'd just like to get hammered and not worry about having a DD or paying $10 for a cab. 7. Women who are only interested in people who treat them like shit. Get one thing straight, ladies: You will never "change" the "bad boy." The only thing you'll get from them requires a penicillin shot the next day. 8. A total lack of interesting scenery 9. Freakish conservatives 10. People who think their religious beliefs should be laws.--hey dumbfucks-- they tried that in Afghanistan--they were called the Taliban 11. Freakishly obsessive Christians (note: I don't mind Christians. See #10) 12. Morbidly obese people 13. Rednecks 14. The almost non-existentness of intellectually stimulating activities in Wichita 15. The almost non-existentness of fall/spring 16. Only 182's fly here, and we're the "Air Capital..."

Who are we!?!? What do we do!?!