DrunkMonkey

Me too...

I like Veal Parmesan.

Case in point--juvenile name-calling

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much, and I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have also never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts. For Example: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says these words that every husband on the planet would hate to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I rolled over and went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was half a bubble off plumb. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Why do you waste your time, people? No one on this board will accomplish anything. Dems hate GOPers, and find all manner of childish names for their candidates... GOPers-see Dems, switch names. The difference between online political bitching and masturbation is that once you're finished masturbating, you've got a little something to show for it...

I'm also a "southpaw." We're also much more likely to be involved in industrial accidents, due to right-handed designs of heavy machinery. I hated desks in college, there were never enough left ones. I hate writing in pencil/gel ink. Always puts a big smear on the edge of my hand... Left: Write Fly a C-172 Shoot Eat Most everything else Right: PC Mouse 5-speed transmission Rig Hackey

Buy a membership to a health club with the $ you would have spent on the chair...

Yeah, the small arms and anti-aircraft fire would be treacherous...

30 days. [/former Eagle Scout, current .Mil Officer]

Ehhh...who wants to staff that particular Bomb Magn...er I mean Embassy?

Send that to PETA--the response would be priceless..

Hamster or Not?

Useless...get Paxil 10mg/day...

...Um...you didn't know that Israeli bullets have a chewy pork center and are bacon wrapped to stay moist???

Have you seen his taste in women? What, are you nuts? Go ugly early? (Not my philosophy, just a guess...)

I like feta cheese. It's good with Gyros.

Sure, all those bakeries are just fronts for a Swedish terrorist group planning to overthrow the USA. They've infiltrated every major city. He's Coming right at us!!! RUN!!!

Ah, yes...Fox News...The Mininistry of Propaganda is running quite well, Mein Fuhrer... Taking FoxNews at face value is about as dumb as taking Michael Moore at face value...

Yep-"Dear Canadian/English/Irish Dept of Immigration and Naturalization..."

Unusually high credit card debt? Constantly judging if the winds are jumpable? Still trying to figure out how to escape a crashing airliner and not get ingested by an engine/chopped in half by the tail? etc...

Yes-The Tony Danza.

Probably a repost, but what the hell: http://users3.ev1.net/~darktomb/valhalla/

If dope smokers want to change the law, let them engage the legislative process and change it. Until then, STFU and obey the law, lest you end up being Bubba's bitch in prison... That being said, I have serious doubts about the ability of pot smoking wastes of space being able to organize themselves enough to change any laws. They're too busy playing hackey sack or giggling on the way to the quickie mart to buy twinkies...

...A good dump, a shower, and a plate of ham and eggs. Then a 20-way sequential.

In a nutshell, That is why I respect cats far more than dogs. Cats are worthy adversaries, whilst dogs are pathetic groveling saps...