rifleman

Just a couple of related incidents from an NBC (Nuclear, Chemical and Biological) warfare course I attended many years ago. When you have to take a dump in a chemical warfare suit, you find out who your friends are, as it takes three people to go for a crap. You (the crapper) and two people to support your weight so that yo don't accidentally make contact with the ground (contamination). While they support you in the sitting position you hold the bottom half of the NBC suit up off the ground. After you've finished, you're supposed to examine the stool for signs of bleeding etc. to make sure that you're healthy. On the same course I was on, we had two incidents. The first was a guy who didn't hold the bottom of his NBC suit tight enough against his legs and shit in the back of the trousers, wiped and then pulled the trousers up without looking. Spent the next hour wandering around asking if anyone esle could smell anything before he realised. The second was a guy who had a practical joke played on him. As his friends were supporting him in the squat and he was straining and pushing another friend slid a shovel into the hole, caught the log that he'd just dropped and then slipped away and buried it somewhere else. He finishes, turns round to examine it only to find that there's nothing there. Spent the next 30 minutes frantically searching the inside of his suit for the missing item before someone told him what had happened. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

My personal favourite poem: The Golden Journey to Samarkand We are the Pilgrims, master; we shall go Always a little further; it may be Beyond that last blue mountain barred with snow, Across that angry or that glimmering sea. White on a throne or guarded in a cave There lives a prophet who can understand Why men were born; but surely we are brave, Who take the Golden Road to Samarkand. Sweet to ride forth at evening from the wells When shadows pass gigantic on the sand, And softly through the silence beat the bells Along the Golden Road to Samarkand. We travel not for trafficking alone; By hotter winds our fiery hearts are fanned; For lust of knowing what should not be known We make the Golden Journey to Samarkand. - James Elroy Flecker Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'. Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie de Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'. 'The Lunar Excitation' - Season 3, Episode 23, Big Bang Theory Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Use the 4th wisely, young padawan. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

As I understand it (bearing in mind I'm a noob and know nothing), in the UK there are 4 distinct grades relating to the packing of parachutes. These are: Packer After attending a packing course, doing 10 supervised repacks and a packing test may pack main parachutes (but only those mains, containers and deployment systems listed on the packing certificate) ie: If your packing certificate says that you've been signed off for Javelin H/C, Skymaster main using S/L deployment and nothing else then that is all you can pack until you've been effectively type certified for another container/main/method of deployment. Advanced Packer After a training course, can inspect and pack reserves, fit AAD's and do minor repairs (not involving sewing) such as replacing closing loops. Rigger After training can do repairs to reserve and main parachutes that involve a sewing machine eg patches etc but not major repairs and alterations to container/harness/canopy. Advanced Rigger Can make alterations and do major repairs to container/harness/canopy Edit: Advanced packers cannot inspect and repack tandem reserves. That has to be done by a rigger. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Here's a bike for you. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

FIFY Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Has anyone else read this book by Tim Johnson? AFAIK it's only available through Amazon as a Kindle download. I bought it just to have a look and couldn't put it down - an excellent read. If you've read it, please post your thoughts. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

IIRC the student rigs do have adjustable lift webs - I'll ask an instructor to quickly check that they're the right length for me the next time I jump. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

I'm a S/L student and currently jumping a Javelin Student container with a Skymaster 290 main. My problem is that the last two times I've jumped my chest strap and chest mounted altimeter have ended up wedged under my chin where it's hard to read. The chest strap is tight but with enough space to get my hand behind it and the leg straps are as tight as they'll go without restricting blood flow to my legs. I know the leg straps aren't slipping because they're still tight on landing and the rig feels comfortable enough when I'm getting on the AC but I'm at a loss to know why the chest strap ends up so high. Any ideas? Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

They always do that shit. They are one of the stupidest motherfuckers ever when it comes to deciding what to do in front of an oncoming death mobile. I have run over my fair share over the years. You know that insurance commercial where the squirrel runs out in the road and stops, and the driver swerves to avoid and crashes? Then its buddy comes up and they do the fist bump? Yeah, ain't happening with me. I'll slow and brake if I can do so safely, but I aint swerving for no goddamn squirrel. The thing is they used a squirrel to promote road safety to children in the UK during the 70's, which given the number of dead squirrels by the roadside, never struck me as a good idea. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BrivBSv20Y Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Mushroom Dangler was a favourite with non-jumpers when I was jumping rounds in the Army. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Personally, I'd rather someone told me loudly and publicly (either on the forums or at the DZ) that I'm being an asshat and to get my shit sorted out. I haven't personally witnessed a skydiving fatality in the short time I've been jumping but as an ex-soldier I've seen more than a few friends get injured or die and it's not an experience I'm eager to repeat and believe me I've seen some shit in my time, people bleeding out through so many holes in them that a fucking octopus couldn't stay on top of it; arms and legs missing, exposed bones, internal organs and on one occasion brains. I accept that every time I jump I could be dead in less than 2 minutes if everything goes to shit and if someone tells me (in whatever way) that I fucked up I'll listen and take note for two reasons: 1) You have to be alive to get an ass-chewing 2) I'd rather have someone (CCI/Experienced Jumper/Coach) tell me I fucked up than have to call my wife and tell her which hospital/morgue I'm in because I didn't listen to advice. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Weight 184 lbs currently jumping a skymaster 290 (student rig) @ 0.75 WL Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

I need some help and advice. I'm looking at buying used gear for my first rig but given that a second hand main canopies of sufficient size to support my exit weight are rarer than rocking horse sh*t I'm left with two options, both of which come in at around £1800 inc. AAD. The first is a xerox container with a 210 reserve. I contacted the manufacturer and according to the serial number it will accept a 220 main but the only 220 main I can find is a Fury 220 with 400 jumps on it. The second option is a Telesis container with a Skymaster 290 (120 jumps) and a tempo 250 reserve. Any advice or opinions would be gratefully received. I do intend to discuss this with my instructors and CCI the next time I'm up at the DZ and get their input. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

My top five: Phantom Les Mis Barnum Cats Rocky Horror Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Broke his back in Zambia - probably on exercise with 21 SAS. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

In the UK you need at least 800 jumps and 8 hours cumulative freefall time before you can attend the basic instructors course which allows you to do ground instruction only under supervision. After six months you then attend another course which then allows to jump with tandem students. http://www.bpa.org.uk/training/becoming-an-instructor/ Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Currently sewing an RW romper suit in polar fleece (complete with grips) for a friend who's expecting a baby soon. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

I'e known my wife for 22 years and I have a simple rule for sending flowers. Don't do it so often that it becomes a routine - "Oh, another bunch of flowers." but not so infrequently that the first words out of her mouth are "What the fuck have you done wrong!" Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

I live about 2 1/2 hours from Tilstock where I jump so the weather can be radically different between home and the DZ. As there's only the wife and I (no kids) she comes to the DZ with me and we normally book a hotel local to the DZ for the night as this means that I can hang around the DZ until the last lift of the day. We normally set off between 6am and 8am on the day of the jump and then spend the day there and come home the day after. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Hi, I'm a UK novice as well (3 jumps into the RAPS course) and I know that the weather can be a PITA (last 2 jump days were either rained off or the wings on the AC were freezing up above 2500ft). However, turning up at the DZ on days where the weather is slightly iffy can pay dividends. There's been a couple of occasions where people have taken themselves off the manifest because of a long weather hold and gone home only for the weather to break. This means that those people that stay may get more jumps in. I generally use http://www.metcheck.com/V40/UK/HOBBIES/aviation.asp for weather forecasts as they're reasonably accurate and on the hobbies page under aviation there's a listing for all the UK dropzones. The aviation forecasts are available about 2 -3 days in advance unless you want to pay for the service. I'm waiting on a place coming free on a packing course because it's always good to have something to do during wet weather, either supervised repacks or learning about new canopies and containers to add to your packing certificate. hope this helps Richard Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Jasper Carrott on bungee jumping: "One of the bungee jumpers was blind! A blind bungee jumper! You need a bit of bottle to do that don'tcha? It was amazing.... listening to a labrador scream at three hundred feet! pause At least the bloke knew when he was getting near the water cause the lead went slack!" Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

I'll have to wait until 8am (GMT) to download. Looking forward to reading it. Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation

Another one - Darwin Award of the century - with video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJghe0ofkj0&feature=youtu.be confirmed as real by darwin award committee Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation