Deuce

Is it work safe?

How 'bout a picture of a little girl just after I yanked a tooth out of her head. Chicks dig that.

4skin Drinking Early (as in those guys will get eliminated so fast they will be drinking really early)

The truth shall be stranger than fiction. (Using the word "shall" means that lawyers could get involved) Hey, check the weather link again! Back to partly cloudy. Thanks B-squared or BillVon or whoever!

I shot that one. People having that much fun is about the easiest thing to do. I had less than a dozen video jumps at that point so when I watch it now, I'm pretty critical. Isn't that hybrid funnel about the best funnel you've ever seen? Cornholio uploaded it, I think.

Lisa, if we end up out there rained out, the nig-noggery is going to require the National Guard to be called out. And then those poor brave weekend warriors won't know what the holy hell hit them. Yes, we can hang from the strut when it's on the ground. We'll do that right after the whole group of us sneaks in the back door to Two Towers, bribes the theater attendant to leave us the hell alone, drinks a couple of bottles of Rumpleminz, and eats three buckets of fried chicken. Things should start to get a little sideways at that point. We'll lock the hubs on me and Aggies 4 X 4's and start looking for giant WWII surplus natural gas torches. The guns will make an appearance as we race across the desert trying to find REALLY REALLY tall towers to base jump off while Skymonkey packs my Spectre and just cuts the slider the hell off so it will open in less than a thousand feet, subterminal. Some local militia will make an appearance, thinking we're coyotes. Bad move on their part cause we're not. Sorry folks, but nobody's ever seen zip ties applied faster than Sudsy does it. Viking will look longingly at the restrained helpless bodies, but in vain. Not today, Viking-lad, we've got shit to do. We drive into the desert like a bad remake of Road Warrior, with Nathaniel doing his best imitation of The Humongous. No huge natural gas torches appear. Shit. Thank God I got that GPS thingie for Christmas last year, now I know where to find Area 51. Forget it, too damn far, and we're out of Rumpleminz and Tequila. The sun comes up, and what the hell, it's a beautiful blue sky day! The Skymonkey has these neato super secret pills that the Army developed for Special Forces troopers to sober up from benders quickly so they can kill people and break things. They are perfect for skydivers recovering from Nig-Noggery, we all take one and SHAZAM! We're perfectly sober, wide awake, and really fucking hungry. We drive up to the McDonalds in Eloy and the Rock and Roll Ballerina captivates the crew with a very sexy modern dance interpretation of the nutcracker while Seb cleans out the Mcsausage biscuits and McMuffins. Cornholio is very light on his feet as he grabs about three dozen of those hash-brown patties we bail into the trucks as B-squared flashes the crew and they all faint in adulation. Windows down, 100 miles an hour, we scarf the greasy goodness faster than a head-down AggieDave. Skybytch repairs my slider as we tear into the parking lot, we turn on our Cypri, jump into our suits, board the Skyvan, thorough gear check, red light on, you and me hang from the strut, the rest of the group forms up on the ramp and 1-2-3 we set the DZ.Com Hybrid Record. It can rain on Thursday. If it rains on Friday, Eloy will never, ever be the same.

Bill, as always, you are ever so helpful. Jus' trying to help. Rain is not the essential problem here. You only get wet if water is approaching you or you are approaching the water. Therefore, if you match your fallrate to the downward speed of the rain, you will not get wet. Of course, this is only a theory. I will test it when it rains here, but I'm sure that Prof. Kallend would agree. Wait. That actually does cheer me up. So long as the cloud deck is above, what 15K for a 13.5 bailout?, I'm going. OK, light rain from high clouds. OK, I've put the gun down, why are all you people staring at me like that? WHAT? Looks like no skydiving this weekend up here either. I'm getting all itchy. I can't sit still, I feel kinda sick. I NEED MY FIX! ARGH!

Yes. That will hold me until water inexplicably wets the barely covered skin on the top of my head while I am standing in my Superman camera suit with perfectly clean lenses, fresh tape and film, fully charged batteries and a hardon to go skydiving with my DZ.com clan members. If I put an umbrella in my gearbag, will that prevent this weather-out? Hop-n-pops from the Skyvan? Hey! One of the powerpuff chicks can burn the sky clear with their eyes or something. Or BillVon can bring some hyperattenuated wavelenth thingie to decloudify the place. If I end up in an Indian casino on any of those days I better win big.

http://www.weather.com/weather/local/85231?lswe=85231&lwsa=WeatherLocalUndeclared If that holds through the weekend, we're all gonna die being drug behind Aggiedave's f*cking pickup truck. Tell me It's gonna be sunny Friday through the rest of the week. Tell me my hair isn't getting really damn thin up on top too, while you're at it Unnacceptable. B-squared, get some god or goddess on the phone right now and square this "rain" nonsense away!

"Dude, I've got a rope, a canopy, and a ball hitch. Hold my beer and watch this...." We'll put that on your tombstone, Agmeister

Well coolio! Let's get that sunset cross-country DC-3 load set up for Saturday the 28th then! I'll see you Thursday night! Woo-hoo.

I'm thinking a bored skydiver with a rope, a canopy, and a vehicle with a ball hitch has got to be one of the most dangerous combinations there is. But I'll do video.

Would you make up your MIND Fishmonkey? (just a suggestion Mr. Skymonkey) So you're in, right? Just like asking a girl to show me her rack, I'm gonna say Come-on! C'mon, C'mon until you just say yes! The gauntlet has been thrown, Seb, you are our number one varsity partier. Norcal needs you representin'. Sincerely, Deuce #2, but I try harder

um, can you say STALL? steve That'd make it like a balloon jump, right? We'd be like the Roadrunner. Right when the stall occurs, we just step off the gate, the plane noses over, uncontrolled, and we begin the skydive! Hey, we're wearing para-f*cking-cutes! What do we care! (J/K all hail the jump pilots

The best funnel I ever witnessed

I've never had a riser strike that I've noticed, so I can't address that. Moving the box forward will help with wider lenses, though. I'm fine with my .5 on, but with my .3 on I get the side of my helmet in the shot. If you're getting riser strikes, though, I wouldn't cut the box down, cause instead of hitting the box, the risers would be hitting the camera, it seems.

(Furiously riding Sebazz's leg) Be patient, man! I'm almost done...

EVERYONE knows Sebazz. They just don't know that they know him. So you'll have a posse ready to party in the Bent Prop Thursday night? LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMBBLLLLLLLLE

Me me me meeeeeeeeee!! How 'bout a tube out of the skyvan? Yeah babay ! My first day will be Friday. B-Squared, what time to I have to be at manifest to get through checkout in time to be on load one? We'll be pulling into the Bent Prop Thursday night. I'm the 6' loud drunk laughing guy

The largest denomination in the world is "ex-Catholics". No such thing. It's like saying "Ex-Marine"

Virgins with rifles

LISTEN CAREFULLY MAGGOTS. Cornholio is my designated driver. I will defend him with my fragile sobriety. Look, I met my Norcal Posse THROUGH DZ.com! I met Matt at my own freaking DZ, Lummy at Davis, and I didn't know Sebazz was Sebazz until AFTER I had loaned him some gear at my DZ (I know better now) Every jump I did at Perris's Labor Day boogie was a DZ.com load. Me, Cornholio, Lummy, and Ben will be hanging out. Sebazz knows freaking everybody. If you're low-time, we'll put you in the base. Feel the Byron Love, baby! Scoby was just off student status when we were at Perris, and he enjoyed riding the plane with us, but chose to do some solos. I'm easy to spot. All my gear is in Superman colors. Like Quade says, the more garish the camera suit, the worse the camera flier. And I'm telling you I SUCK! I'm looking forward to shooting the Mouth off of the step of the Skyvan, but so far that's the only plan, plus a Michele and a Moody jump. There's lots of cool stuff we can launch with jumpers of various skill levels. I do want to get at least a 20 way in at some point, and I want to fly camera on some RW too. My goal is to be on load one every day, and on a sunset load every day too. Jumpjumpjump! See you there, on the ground and in the air. Damn! That rhymed like savoir-faire!

I doubt we'll have time, I'm jumping from load one to sunset Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But I'll be ready if the opportunity presents itself -Clay I'll see how much of that stuff I've got and I'll PM you.

That shooting appears to have been justified. Without the intercession of the shooter the cop would likely have suffered critical injuries. That's how that decision tree works. Officer being dragged will likely be critically injured, I may critically injure him by shooting at the driver. When the threat to the victim equals or is less than the threat posed by shooting, you shoot. And you make that decision in the blink of an eye.

That may be sick,but you see a lot worse during the memorial weekend bike rally in myrtle beach.It's also known as black bike week.imagine seeing that in a thong on the back of a crotch rocket.ughhhh. OH MY GOD! I actually witnessed that! Went there to golf and BLAMMO. It was like, how did that Kawasaki get lodged in that giant woman's *ss? And there'd be a little teeny guy mashed up against the tank trying to ride. Drunken naked crashes everywhere. Everytime I think "thong" I think of a piece of yard in a buffalo's *ss, with the buffalo on a Kawi. Whoa. Flashback. Bad. Bad.