Deuce

Villa Delilah.

Thank you. I haven't answered the phone enough, or answered email enough. But I really appreciate the connection I have with you. You know who you are.

John, in California, they recently made the .50 rifle illegal. I don't know if they specified ".50 and larger". I suspect this new rifle will be legal here. Please correct me if I'm wrong. If it comes to that, I'll use a lever .45-70 to take a "black" gun if I need one. Or just be nice enough to get close.

It's easier to start with one and learn how to use your peripheral vision and keep your head still, and then stop using one, then to start shooting crappy video and "having" to go to one to get your stuff centered. It also depends on the lens you use. Some of my favorite photography is with a 100 mm lens shooting other canopy fliers under canopy. With a 20D or the 5D you could "spray and pray" but with a ringsite that is truly on center for that lens, you can get some really neato shots. I've had several of those shots published just because they are so different. The one of the centerfold in Parachutist of Gravitygirl doing an AFF is probably one of my fav's. Have to have a ringsite to do that on purpose.

Yes, I can. The bizarre cop experience stories have to be told in person. That said, a severed human head is way heavier than you'd think, at least before the brain part dries out. Oh, and telling a rookie to poke a dead person who is about to burst from internal gassing is only funny if when he does, you are far enough away that none gets on you. I don't know if Sparky even comes in to bonfire, but he has some doozies too. They are actually horrible stories, but are funny as hell once the proper context is arrived at. Really can't be done on the internet.

Dude, you don't look like a teenager anymore, but you look like a dork because you reflect light. That was not a poll question. I've never been to a Star Wars convention, are the chicks hot? Like the Leia in the bikini hot? Jabba holding Leia on a leash hot? Pig-guards getting eaten by the monster hot? Mostly naked green chick with the flacid horns hot? Are there chicks there at all? Is dork worse or better than geek?

I have a lot of stories about wierd sh*t that I participated in when I was the police. One of the all-time-wierdest is the "ass hanging out" story. Sorry, it has to be told in person, but I've told it at a lot of boogies. I was having an interview last night over a couple of glasses of really good merlot with a couple of heavy-hitters from this commercial/acreage/residential brokerage that is recruiting me. I told the ass hanging out story just to one-up the joke/stories the partners were telling. They were in tears. (I was also careful to make sure they were both a glass and a half ahead of me, and I ate before the meeting, they hadn't) Anyhow, it was a fun meeting and I got the job, and I still have the severed head in the bucket, the "it's not a thumb, Lieutenant" and "No, you can't have anything to eat" stories. That should get me through the first six months, and then there's always the interesting French names one encounters in the inner city.

Woman. You know how much trouble I'm in. Stick with "Ugly-Asshole" comments in the public forums, please. I wish I was a cute as you so I could get some monkey to pack for me.

My eyes change color when I get end-of-the-world pissed off. They get really green. Once, back when I would get in end-of-the-world screaming arguments, right in the middle of one, my wife told me my eyes were beautiful while otherwise pointing out the similarities between my character and the substance that grows in the butt mudflaps of a rhino. I glanced at my reflection, noted they did look pretty cool, considered tinted contacts, and got back to business. So, no. I'm not cute when I'm angry, but I think people can be, depending on why they are angry. Watching people get angry while packing their first zero P canopy (or watching me pack at all) they can be kind of cute. When I finally get my rig closed, the people who have gathered at a polite distance tend to look at each other with a look on their faces like "I was impressed with the monkeys who used sticks to eat termites. That monkey will die if he jumps that mess, but it was still pretty impressive to see such a big hairless ape pull that off at all. Especially without the extra thumbs on his feets!"

Dude, I got a wicked-cool gold-plated AK for the Afghan donation. Who knows what I'll get from Columbia. Maybe a burro!

Ah, dude, that is just to get it past customs. I must admit I never tried it, It just fit well in the big box of "better you fighting guys yelling Allah Candybar or something, so here's some snacks" Now this poor guy is going to have to retire to Northern California, which is the only place anybody can find it. I'm going to go mail it now while I send my Spectre in for a re-line. With one package going to Florida, and one going to Bogota, do you think they might get suspicious? Nah, cops aren't that smart. I once were one.

It's hard to deal with. I got talked into buying the crack and sending it overseas once before, and that was probably a mistake. Day before yesterday I get an e-mail from my crack addicted buddy's DAD asking me where he could get the crack for his hopelessly addicted son. That was hard. The poor guy has made it clear to even his Dad that he needs the stuff, and needs it bad. It's probably a mistake, but I bought six-and-a-half pounds of the crack and am sending it, once again, to an international destination. If either of the countries I'm sending this stuff to want to extradite me, I will get so Hollywood Bank Robbery on them it will be freaking historic. I do feel bad feeding his addiction, but I feel bad knowing he is suffering, too. The crack is in the mail.

Yes. And it actually has. I've been to many of my own funerals. Times when I had to acknowledge that the "old" me had died. Change is hard. Change is death. And it requires the same grief-anger-whatever that dealing with the death of a loved one does. When you get married, the single person dies. When you give birth the childless woman dies. When you separate, the domestic partnership dies. It's hard. I'm looking at a casket right now. You'll be OK. It just takes time. Take the long term solution to a long term problem.

A2 openings are quite a bit harder than EZ openings. I attribute that to the non-dacron lines. After a bunch of A2 jumps when we run out of the new A2's I might get "stuck" with an EZ (comparatively, the toggle pressure is just horrible) but that EZ opening really seems like a streamer, it's so much easier. But flying an A2 is much more like flying a sport rig. Real responsive, and the student can pull the toggle through the whole range by themself, most of the time. I never let the student have toggle contact at landing. For some of the old-timers who let the student help flare because it's challenging, it's not, with the A2. As to the lineover thing, I had one on an EZ that was flat packed by a VERY experienced tandem flatpacker. She was very surprised and frustrated it happened.

Mine was wierd. Nice to hear my daughters sleeping. The number 13 is a strange and recurring one in my life.

There appears to be no evidence that this has ever happened before. From an actuarial or statistical point of view there is no point in changing anything. Those are the cold hard facts. I read the article in Skydiving for the first time today. I applaud the tandem master for being so candid. Two things in the article really got my attention. 1. that the exit and setup were planned with a "healthy" skydiver and not the physically challenged one, and 2. that the harness "felt" wrong and the passenger "felt" low, but a visual inspection seemed to counter the "feeling" and the TM went anyhow. I have great respect for this TM, but the first rule of spotting and being a tandem master (in my very humble and newbie 600 or so tandems) is ignore the people shouting from the front of the plane. If it feels wrong, go around and re-check everything. I did that when I was a probie TM (less than 100 tandems). I got asked why when we landed, and the owner wasn't happy, but the other TM in the 206 was about my size and I just couldn't see and feel everything I needed to when I was at that experience level with another big tandem master right next to me. Telling a Skyvan at a boogie to go around would be a very hard thing to do, just because something didn't "feel" right. The article was very well written, and communicates that the result of losing the student was much, much harder. Again, thanks very much for the very well written article. JP

About hour 8 of the drive home from Holiday Boogie, Tallguy drops this one: Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle. That shit's funny right there, I don't care who you are.Quote

That was some good sushi! And I got pretty drunk! And the waitress was hot! Yeah, like an asian Dolly Parton. That's in the e-mail too. In other circumstances it would have been a very funny and fun recollection. Still is, pretty much. Fun times.

No. But I had forgotten the year we went to sushi dinner that time, the year was 2003.

I'm clueless. I left my many messages of advice and encouragement and affection from my many skydiving friends in my message account here, and didn't password protect them. Never thought they could be interpreted the wrong way. Pretty clueless.

So, you've made about two mllion bucks off the site, right? Congrats on your courtship and marriage, Willem. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. Some things are difficult where others are impossible. Well done. There is no doubt a way to say "Get 'er Done!" in Afrikaans. You did. Both counts. Cheers, JP

I've got a bunch of jumps on Aerodyne A2's and like how they handle and flare, but wish they had dacron linesets. Really easy toggle pressure and very responsive. (compared to a 384, the only other tandem canopy I've jumped)

I ruptured the plantar fascia in both feet back when I was a blue meanie. Oy, the pain. Part of the treatment was injecting cortizone into the bottom of my heels. I actually fainted the first time (Gaylord Monkey Moment) Anyhow, after the surgery they still really hurt all the time and I was hating life. Got pretty well hooked on Vicoden, and when visiting the Dr. to ask for more he said no. "No?" My mental reaction convinced me I had a dependence problem with the Vicoden. Anyhow, he prescribed Ultram (Tramadol) and it worked like a charm. Not addictive or habit forming (for me anyhow) and really releived the pain so I could work harder on the physical issues that were causing it. Another ugly truth is that you just get used to it, pretty much. And you know when the weather is changing.

Me too. I think the green station wagon ride is not nearly as bad as the red helicopter ride.

I like that theory.