f1freak

Can you play all of the different shows????? HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Here is a link to all of the shows, the links dont work now, not sure whats up... http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://ifilm.com/db/static%5Ftext/0%2C1699%2C3080%2C00.html Here is another funny ass one... http://www.mediatrip.com/ent/shows/creamburg/ HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Works with my xp.... Sorry you're missin out... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

It's just divine intervention... Something is helping us weed out the gean pool.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Check out "Lilpimp"... I am laughing my ass off... http://www.mediatrip.com/ent/shows/lilpimp/ Check out his little pet with turrets... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

"ahhhh.... what a purdy belt sander you are, now come give daddy some luvin..." HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

People like this make me feel so much better about myself... From the "Unusual Case" column of _Aspects of Human Sexuality_, July 1991, by William A Morton, Jr, MD. Reprinted without permission. "Scrotum Self-Repair" One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's problems." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile [feverish], and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin. After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul- smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum. Amid the matted hair, edematous [swollen] skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard. We X-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad- spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement [removal of dead skin] of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed [ripped or torn out] and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated [tied off] properly, though not much of a hematoma [pocket of blood] was present. Through-and- through Penrose drains [?] were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed. Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work. I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification. Two thoughts: is this covered by Workmans' Comp? in a machine shop somewhere, somebody is asking "Hey Joe, what's the dog playing with over there" HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Ok all, it's only 9:30 and I have been slamed at work by a bunch of co-works who seem to have "adult onset retardation" today, i needed a little laugh... So this is for everyone who is needs a little laugh out there.... (Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies) Here's a little story of a man named John, A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone. It seems one night after gettin' with the wife, She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife. (Penis, that is) (Rodeoed, fillet-toed) Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side And Lorena's in the car taken' Willie for a ride. She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend, And tossed him out the window as she rounded out a bend. (Curve, this is) (Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs) She went to the cops and confessed to the attack, And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back. They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed over there, To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air. (Found, that is) (By a fence, evidence) Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long, So a dick-doc said, Hey I can fix your dong. A needle and some thred's just the thing you're gonna need, Then the world held it's breath till they heard that John peed. (Wizzed, that is) (Stitched seam, straight stream) Well he healed and he hardened, and he took his wife to court, With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short). They cleared her of assault, and acquitted him of rape, And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape. (Video, that is) (Unexposed, case closed) HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

My old dog just couldnt stop trying to run through glass doors... From the time she was a puppy she would head streight at the door at a full sprint, then BAM.... Yelp.... But what a cute puppy she was......

I used @ 1 gig to convert a 1.5 hour video... Thats not to bad... finished file size was @ 170 megs HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Yes it does... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I think i remember that... Nathan is one of them.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

OUCH OUCH... Turn it off pleeeeeese..... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Clowns... I hate clowns, cows remind me of clowns so i also hate milk... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...... Not that one again...... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Way to go.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Edit plus rocks, i have been using that for years now... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

You can pick up a cheap capture device like this. http://www.compusa.com/products/product_info.asp?product_code=289794 This is what i used and it works very well...

Only when i breath through my nose now.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Is it the little voices again.... They have meds for that now...... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I like the colors of my cobalt.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I had to roll the shit out of the tail to get nice slow openings... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Yep... Thats bad... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house - move away immediately. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. Do not take anything from the dead. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

How to Impress a Woman Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.... How to Impress a Man Show up naked. Bring beer. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE