f1freak

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face.....This apparently was a real memo sent out by a computer company to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The word is that the engineers literally rolled on the floor! (Especially note the last couple of sentences.) If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items. Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is! an unhappy customer. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

To cool... I will never forget my first... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

And one area for the people who wish they were having crazy wild screaming sex but who end up being quiet..... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

strangers are good, i like to live on the edge... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I jumped a PD190, i only made @ 15 jumps on it before i had to get something else, it smacked me so hard every time.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Way to go.... Over 10 seconds, That ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I was workin at a small buisness in the shipping dept. in a small town in northern minnesota... I will never forget the day.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Wow, you are goooooooooooooooooooood.... See ya..... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Oh yea baby.... It's on ice as we speak.... can you guess what kind??????? HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Wow, sounds like fun...... So when are you getting over here????????? HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

You're kidding right????? they were like my favorite band...... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

lol.... Are you pickin on me???????? HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

It's a kind of a "best of nirvana..." With some unreleased tunes.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I will be released next month... I CANT WAIT.......... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

But that made this monkey dance, dance, dance... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

What about that cool tune... "sucks to be you...." HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I dont now, but damn.... I'm not gettin any younger... I need to start.... Tomorrow..... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Outside of a little town in Mexico, this guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was long, dark, stormy, scary, and no car went by, the storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming toward him and then it stopped. The guy without thinking about it got in the car closes the door just to realize there's nobody behind the wheel. The car starts slowly, the guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way, scared he starts to pray begging for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears thru the window and turns the wheel. The guy, paralyzed with terror, watched each time the hand appeared, just before and through every curve in the road. The guy gathering his strength, jumps out of the car and runs to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes to a cantina and asks for two shots of tequila, and starts telling everybody about the strange and horrible experience he just went thru. A silence enveloped everyone in the cantina when they realized the guy was crying, and wasn't drunk............. About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same cantina, and one says to the other, "Look Pepe, there's the ass that got into the car, when we were pushing it." HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

LOL.... Ahhhhhh.... You're the best....

delta.com... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Are we there yet............ HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I am ready to order one, a friend of mine got one and talk about top quality stuff.... If only a certain person would help me finish the design work i would get it ordered..... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower. "Help! Help!" The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?" The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind... the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!" The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know you're upside down?" "Because the shit is running down my back!" The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. "After all, dear," she said to her husband, "you wouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?" "No," her husband replied. "Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver." A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors, "Used regularly," he explained, "pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!" "Now wait a minute, professor," interrupted a student. "Castration? That's absurd!" "Yes young man, it's sadly true," replied the professor smugly. "Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!" A man went to a whorehouse to get some practice performing oral sex on his wife. The woman at the front desk gave him a key and told him to go to room 319. The man walked into the room and met the lady of the evening. He told her why he was there, so she gave him a few pointers and then told him to go for it. So, the man began performing oral sex and he was, by her reaction, pretty good at it. But something strange happened. A couple of minutes into the deed, he felt something in his mouth. He spit it into his hand and found a piece of carrot. "Oh man, that's nasty!" he thought, but he said nothing and continued. A couple of minutes later, he came up with a pea. "Damn, can't take much more of this. There's something wrong with this bitch." But again, he said nothing and gave it one more shot. A couple of minutes later, he came up with a piece of chicken. He couldn't stand it any longer. "I can't do this anymore! I'm gonna throw up!" "That's funny," remarked the hooker, "that's what the last guy did." A couple of homosexual men are accidentally rear-ended by a large truck at a stop sign one afternoon. Furious, the man in the passenger side throws his purse on the seat, steps out of the car, then walks back to the truck and starts banging on the door. The truck driver opens the door and the homosexual, standing there with his hands on his hips, says, "We're gonna sue your ass!" The truck driver smirks, says, "Blow me, buddy!" The homosexual stands there for a moment thinking, then his eyes get really big and his face lights up. He runs back to the car and says excitedly to his lover, "You won't believe this... he wants to settle out of court!" HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Be afraid, very very afraid.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Oh yes.... Yes you will... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE