masterrig

I was riding on the Mayflower, When I thought I spied some land, I called for Captain Arab, I'll have you understand! Chuck

With a smile like that? Chuck

________________________________ We've got you surrounded... come out with your hands up! Just jackin' with ya'! Chuck

You can send some of you rain to here in West Texas! What 'rain' we've gotten, wouldn't even mess-up a windshield! Chuck

____________________________ But... but... how the hell, do you get past the ugly??????? Chuck

________________________ Yeah! What he said! Chuck

_____________________________ Holy Crap! That there's nice!

_____________________________ Holy Crap! That there's nice!

Bwa - hahahahaha! That's no lie! Been a long time since I've seen that movie. Next time I watch it... guess what I'll think of? Chuck

I savvy that! Chuck

I always eat asado or beans with a tortilla... no fork. NEVER allow my hat to be put on a bed! Always sit by a window in a cafe. Won't sit with my back to a door. I like a fan going while I sleep (summer or winter). I'm sure, there's a few more... just can't recall them all. Chuck

Does this mean... Ren and Stimpy are back? Chuck

____________________________________ The beauty of it is, we can understand you!

Dude did you live with my daddy? He had to do that too...actually, I think if I remember right, he told me that he pulled a calf in half during childbirth. It was stuck in the canal and he/they were trying to help the cow, but...ick. ______________________________ This happens quite often with 'still-born' calves but, once in awhile with a 'live' calf. The first time I saw a 'prolapsed' cow repaired. That, was kinda' disturbing. Chuck

Quote Wow ! There are some pretty good stories here ! I had taken this guy on a tandem jump. I guess he had eaten some nasty greasy Mexican food the night before. After opening I caught this god- aweful smell. He had shit all over himself !! I was gagging and trying not to yak all over his back. I told him " I can't take it anymore and that I was going to pull the student cut-away handle"!! " he yelled "NOOO ! DON'T" !!! Of course it was a no wind day. I slid him in on landing and shit was everywhere !! SOO you want to be a tandem master huh !! ____________________________________ It wasn't a tandem but, we had a jumper come out to make some jumps one Sunday morning. He had been drinking pretty good, the night before. His first jump went pretty good, up till the hook-turn. He hit the dirt, pretty hard and rolled and flopped like a rag doll across the ground. Fortunately, he was not hurt but, the impact had literally knocked the shit out of him! We have a rule... make sure they're all-right first then, laugh like hell! Chuck

Makes you wonder, what that 'goo' really was... where your fingers had been! Chuck

_________________________________________ After blowing-up the rail car and scattering all the money over half 'a section... Butch to Sundance: "Do you think we used too much dynamite?" Chuck

While working cattle, a couple springs ago, the ranch owner and I came across a little calf in distress. The poor little guy had previously pooped and his little tail had gotten stuck in his butt from dried poop. Well, you farmers out there know what has to be done in a case like this! You have to peel the little guys tail out of the dried poop in his little butt. I held the calf while my rancher friend peeled-up the tail. It sounded like Velcro! He no more than got that little calf's tail un-stuck, when the little guy let loose with about two days worth! I couldn't help laughing my ass-off. Fortunately, there was a stock tank near by where he could clean-up. Chuck

That's what I thought... pie-r-round! Chuck

Did you know... San Francisco, has the lowest birth-rate of any city in the U.S.? Chuck

Ain't it great to have 'friends'?

_________________________________ I got mine... you, get your-gasm! Chuck

___________________________ I'm talkin' serious shrinkage here! Chuck

That there's funny shit! Chuck

O.K. Gotta get that one going at our DZ! That's great! Chuck