RhondaLea

Exactly...blatant ass kissing really pisses me off! So, uh VanillaSkyGirl, have I told you how lovely and beautiful and smart and perfect I think you are...? Walt The problem is that every asskisser I've ever run into turned into a rat bastard about three months down the road. It's one of the biggest (documented) signs of abusive behavior to come. I'm not directing that at you, Walt, because I think I know you better than that, but all it does is make of you the exception. When a woman runs into a guy who fawns over her, she needs to run for the hills. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

You want more Sammiches? Come 'n get 'em. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Greg's going to be very surprised to learn about his dopplegangers. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Threads like this one.

Who won the pool? If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I'm pretty sure the reason for this is that much the same way as some married couples who are experience problems will do the inexplicable and have a baby to "save the marriage," people who are living together will get married to "save the relationship." If people actually used living together as a trial, with the idea that failure of that trial should end in separation, the numbers would probably turn out different. But everything I've read and everything I've seen indicates that when the cohabitation starts to go bad, a lot of people think they're going to repair the relationship with a marriage license. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

You're awfully brave for a guy who lives only two hours (or less) down the highway. Wait wait wait wait wait... you didn't fuckin' tell me that!!

Is that what I said? Hmm, not really. Putting someone to death is slightly different than detaining someone to ask a few questions or run a few tests. You're right, my example was extreme. But the girl wasn't just detained for a few questions or a few tests. She was jailed for three weeks because she had flour in some condoms. That's extreme too. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

If anyone, regardless of the kind of job they hold, performs their job inline with performance targets, what's the big deal? There's an erroneous assumption in what you wrote. If we think that drugs do not affect performance, then they affect no one's performance. It doesn't matter if you're a nurse or a stockbroker, a pilot or a fishmonger. But if they do affect performance, then I don't want you sticking a needle in me, and I don't want you deciding how my money is to be invested. I don't want you flying the airplane I'm on, and I don't want you fileting the flounder I'm going to eat. I know two different people who do weird things to food when they're drunk/high. They both leave stuff like spaghetti sauce out overnight and then use it the next day. I don't eat food prepared by either one, because I'm afraid that their food preparation practices while fucked up will make me sick. That's just an example. Even people in non-dangerous, non-manual jobs can do a lot of damage to others. Drug tests are an invasion of one's privacy, it's true. And on that ground, I object to them. But the prospective victims of the "stoned at work" have rights too, and I think my right to be safe from fucked up people trumps their right to privacy about just how fucked up they are. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Based on the news reports, this woman didn't bottle up her rage at all. She let it all out, and then she went over the top anyway. I made a mistake in not writing the first paragraph more carefully. It was not my intention to imply that only women are abused. We focus on women as victims of domestic violence because they represent the largest segment of that population, but there is no doubt that there are men in abusive situations as well. I still don't understand what your point was with the example you gave. It doesn't seem to have much to do with anything. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I didn't say anything that remotely resembles "most smuggling is done with the use of reptiles." Your first link didn't mention coffee grounds, and I cannot fathom that you expected me to read all the articles from the google search page you provided. Alex mentioned gasoline and coffee grounds, but you didn't connect a single dot. But let's go with that theory: Some people use plastic wrap plus something malodorous to help mask the smell of the drugs. I guess I missed the part where our hapless traveler was carrying lime peel, orange peel, gasoline, kerosene or coffee grounds in her luggage with her flour and condoms. You're right. I don't get it. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Amen. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

A male chauvinist pig is not presumed to be insane. Look, this issue is too complicated for the Bonfire, so I'm going to stop. Just understand that when I hear that, it makes my gut clench and my jaw grind, and I'm not the only one. If you want to be a success with women, you'll take it out of your vocabulary, because the next girlfriend doesn't really want to hear that your last girlfriend was psycho. We all know what it really means. I can live with that. I just hope you (and every guy reading this) gives some thought to what's been said here. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

You're awfully brave for a guy who lives only two hours (or less) down the highway. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

"Meaning is what you bring to things, not what you take from them." Lois McMaster Bujold As I said, the problem wasn't the joke. You have no idea how hateful it is to women to hear men do the "psycho bitch from hell" routine, especially when it seems to be a cognate for "ex-girlfriend." My ex-husband did that while we were married. He even got his-sister-the-social-worker to "diagnose" me as a borderline personality. Finally, one day, I talked him into calling the psychiatrist he'd spent two days a week with for more than seven years to ask for his diagnosis. She told him he had narcissistic personality disorder. In a way, he was right. By the time I left, he'd damn near drove me crazy. I thought your joke was funny, and I laughed. But for more women than you can imagine, your reply to Karen hit a very raw nerve. Sorry. rl Edited to add: The miscommunication is that even with a smiley, "psycho" isn't funny. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

That was my answer to the question "can someone tell me why you need to get drug tested for a non manual/dangerous job"? As I said, on certain theoretical legal grounds, I object to the idea of drug testing. As a practical matter, I think that frequent and random drug testing would solve a lot of problems in the workplace. I'm not sure that pre-employment tests are worth what they cost. As for the particular anecdote I related, the testing should have been immediate and on-site, not two days later at an independent facility. Then the son-of-a-bitch would've been caught dead to rights. As it was, he was working for an agency, and that just complicated everything. rl P.S. You strive for a spanking. P.P.S. PJ, I'm not passionate on this subject. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I think the problem was less the joke than your response to her comparable joke. That is to say, why is it that you are funny but she is psycho? rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Your finger is not what they all want to lay, Rhonda. You really have to wonder how it is that I'm still celibate. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

This wasn't exactly a road trip. It was more like the tour of hell. In July 2002, I left Florida for New Jersey. In August, I drove to California. In October, I drove back to New Jersey and stayed for 9 months. Then I drove to Arizona for one week and finally returned to Florida. I realize that 9 month period of stasis doesn't really count, except I never unpacked the car, and I spent several months of that time driving from the north of the state to the south of the state at least three, if not five times a week. Also, I drove to Michigan and back at the end of that December. I arrived immediately after an ice storm and left three hours later. The other adventures along the way are too depressing to relate, particularly a brief stay in Nebraska in July and October. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

Sex on the table. Edited to add: I liked Karen's a lot better than yours. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I'm not singing if all you're holding is my hand. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

So is this like..."it would be better to put an innocent man to death than to have ten guilty men go free"? rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I worked for a cooler boss. He used to smoke pot in his office. That wouldn't have been so bad, but he was also doing a lot of coke...when led him to believe that hiring an 18-year old stripper with a 9th grade education as a probate "paralegal" was a smart idea. Better yet, he took her on a two week vacation to Europe and bought her a car. As his work fell off, he supported his various habits--as well as his wife and two children--by stealing $450k in trust funds. It's remarkable the ideas that drugs will put in some people's heads. rl If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

I am certainly not downplaying the seriousness of rape, but I would disagree. Murder deprives the world of a person and of future generations. Who knows how many people will never see the world because of a murder. As bad as rape is, and even with all the scars it leaves, I'd rather be alive and facing my demons than dead. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb